Down With Love Review
by Karina Montgomery (karina AT cinerina DOT com)May 19th, 2003
Down With Love
Full Price Feature
"What should we do?"
"It should be a real Camelot 60's movie, with yummy clothes and sets and backdrops and rear projections and nothing modern about it at all. And not a remake."
"Except the dialogue."
"Yes, definitely the dialogue. We should up the ante on the double entendres; Pillow Talk wasn't made yesterday."
"That's a great idea! Give Tony Randall a part!"
"Yes but he also wasn't born yesterday. We need someone hot. Young. Devil-may-care, but also good with the irony, And he's got to look good with his shirt off and on."
"We'll consult Karina's brain."
[Sound effects of very futuristic ray gun mining my actual head for what would make the perfect movie.]
"Got it!"
"Wow, she's pretty stuck on this era. Good thing we picked her." "OK, now download the preview back into her head. She'll want it." [Theremin noises as Karina sleeps the sleep of the innocent.] "Ewan McGregor! Perfect. We give him the black pomp, the smooth clothes, leave the accents, the twinkle in his eyeŠ"
"There won't be a dry panty in the house!"
"Who is likable enough to put against Ewan without overshadowing him. But she has to be approachable, not another goddess like Nicole
Kidman."
"Yeah, and she has to be able to sing and dance."
"Hey, did you see this file in Karina's head about Chicago?" "Bammo! Renee Zellweger it is. Man this is easier than anything. She even looks like Doris Day."
"But we can't name her Doris, that would be too obvious."
"Yes, let's just send the Doris stuff over to wardrobe."
"Don't forget David Hyde Pierce. She's got that whole dream of him transitioning to film."
"Better cast a relative unknown next to him so he doesn't get overshadowed." "But she's got to be funny."
"Of course!"
"Hey, we could get Peyton Reed to direct it. He did Bring It On." "PERFECT! Wait wait, she likes covers of songs done in different styles. I know she liked that 'Fly Me To The Moon' song when she saw it in Catch Me If You Can. What if we got a woman to do it Bossa Nova style?"
"Blame it on the Bossa Nova!"
"Now, it's still pretty standard romantic movie fare. We don't want to get all gooey and piss off the liberated women."
"Let's celebrate the liberated women, show them how the sexual roles of the '60's could be turned on their heads. It's funny for us, it's frustrating for the characters, but we still can have fun with the silliness."
"Peyton is so good with that kind of treatment; she LOVES Bring It On, this may be the one movie ever made designed according exactly to Karina's specifications."
"We might as well get Marc Shaiman to do the music too."
"Didn't he do the South Park movie?"
"Yeah, he's a natural at capturing this kind of dry ironic tone." "Just like Peyton."
"And Ewan and Renee."
"Hot damn."
"I hope she doesn't watch the preview at every turn; we kind of used up some of our best moments in it."
"She doesn't have Quicktime on her work computer, so she probably won't O.D. on it too badly."
"Hope not."
So dear friends, go see Down With Love. It delivers everything you could ever want it to be. But I swear (seriously) I felt like I had seen the whole thing before while I was watching it. I don't mean in a "been there done that" kind of way, but they did ruin a lot with the preview. Ladies, bring diapers. Gents, you may fight over who gets to buy me the DVD when it comes out.
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These reviews (c) 2003 Karina Montgomery. Please feel free to forward but credit the reviewer in the text. Thanks. You can check out previous reviews at:
http://www.cinerina.com and http://ofcs.rottentomatoes.com - the Online Film Critics Society http://www.hsbr.net/reviews/karina/listing.hsbr - Hollywood Stock Exchange Brokerage Resource
Originally posted in the rec.arts.movies.reviews newsgroup. Copyright belongs to original author unless otherwise stated. We take no responsibilities nor do we endorse the contents of this review.
