Failure to Launch Review
by [email protected] (dnb AT dca DOT net)March 24th, 2006
FAILURE TO LAUNCH
A film review by David N. Butterworth
Copyright 2006 David N. Butterworth
*1/2 (out of ****)
I'm not sure I can take another Matthew McConaughey movie. I'm tired of his buff bod and his good ol' boy smirk, with those ubiquitous pearly whites plastered all over his supercilious mug.
And frankly I could do with far fewer movies in which Sarah Jessica Parker plays a thinly veiled version of her "Sex and the City" persona, Carrie Bradshaw. Parker's Paula is a little less uptight and persnickety--softer, perhaps, and less even tempered--but she's still the same old Carrie underneath that immaculately groomed exterior.
But what were my choices this weekend? Natalie Portman as an action figure ("V for Vendetta")? Steve Harvey as a stand-up comedian ("Don't Trip--He Ain't Through With Me Yet")? Amanda Bynes as a boy ("She's the Man")? Or, come to think of it, Tim Allen as a dog ("The Shaggy Dog")? No, I went with the "safer" of these five bets and boy did I pay the price (and I don't merely mean "of admission").
"Failure to Launch" is the kind of comedic romance that would give romantic comedies a bad name if they didn't already have one. It's bland, unfunny, and its leads, while classically "beautiful," have no real reason to be in the same movie together except for the simple fact that some casting genius figured it was probably a fine time to pair them up (probably the same person who saw the "Escape from New York" episode of "SatC" in which McConaughey, playing himself, appeared alongside Parker, playing Ms. Bradshaw).
After all, McConaughey (when he's not being mistaken for Josh Lucas that is) has, in the last five years, played romantic interest (read: second banana) to Rene Russo, Penélope Cruz, Kate Hudson, a fire- breathing dragon, and J-Lo, so why *not* Carrie Bradshaw indeed?
This aptly named "Failure"'s slim plot centers around McConaughey's slacker slash sailboat salesman who, at 35 years of age, still lives with his parents for the multiple benefits that mutually disagreeable arrangement affords. Said parents, played by Kathy Bates and Terry Bradshaw (no relation), have finally had enough and enlist the services of Parker's "professional interventionist," who claims she can get Tripp to fall for her and, as a result, vacate the family nest. Complications--not to mention constipation--ensue(s).
There's something seriously wrong with a rom-com--and this is not uncommon by any means--in which the minor characters are infinitely more interesting than our primary pairing. Zooey Deschanel, who's given plenty of droll one-liners, is a hoot as Paula's dour roommate Kit. Kit has a beef or two about mockingbirds--well, the one that's been keeping her up nights specifically--and vows to do a Harper Lee on it. Bates and Bradshaw are also fun... although it's a tough break to (eventually) learn that the "partial nudity" in a (chaste) Sarah Jessica Parker movie refers to the tight end of a former Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback!
Much as, believe it or not, there exist bad movies about serious subject matters there also exist poorly written, pedestrian, and charmless romantic comedies. "Failure to Launch" falls, largely and squarely, into that (very) latter category.
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David N. Butterworth
[email protected]
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