Fred Claus Review
by Jonathan Moya (jjmoya1955 AT yahoo DOT com)November 18th, 2007
Fred Claus (2007)
A movie review by Jonathan Moya
Rating: 3 out of 5 or a B.
The Review:
Any holiday movie that features Santa Claus gets an automatic pass from this critic. I don't like being on anyone's naughty list. Besides I have a fetish for striking full-size fays (the correct term for a female elf) in short tight red dresses with white fuzzy trim. One has been on my Christmas list consecutively since 1965. Maybe one day she will come.
Santa Claus fay assistant in Fred Claus is Charlene played by the delightfully leggy and delectably proportioned Elizabeth Banks who is given as many low angles up the skirt camera shots as possible since she has a "secret Willie." That is how one child in the row in front of me described the elf that is her secret admirer. Willie (John Michael Higgins) is Santa's indispensable right hand and tool.
Fred is Santa's older brother played by the half sleepy-eyed, half grumpy-pussed, sometimes just right Vince Vaughn. Fred and Santa (Paul Giamatti looking as red nose as Rudolph) have been on the outs ever since Santa mistakenly chopped down the tree that contained Fred and the blue bird of happiness. That was hundreds of years ago, before Santa became a saint, and time became eternal youth for St Nick and his relations- one of the perks of sainthood.
Fred was present when Santa was born- as big as a turkey and two Christmas hams, his eyes all a twinkle, his dimples very merry, his cheeks like roses, his nose not quite a cherry. He had a broad face and a little round belly that shook as he shivered off all his maternal jelly. He looked at his mom and called her a "ho", followed by two more before Fred up the stairs he did go. (With all apologies to Clement Clark Moore.)
Fred is a two bit hustler with big dreams, a heart of gold and a posse of bill collector on his trail. In his latest scheme he needs fifty thousand dollars to open an Off Track Betting parlor right across from the Chicago Mercantile Exchange- and has only three days to get it.
So Fred does what any black sheep brother with a mythological sibling would do- he steals himself a little red pot of money from a Salvation Army Claus. In jail after being unkindly pummeled and piled on by thirteen of Santa's red-suited Brethren, Fred calls the only true miracle worker he knows.
Soon Fred is at the North Pole stamping endless naughty and nice files, having massive disco parties on the factory floor of Santa's toy shop and causing work slow downs that put the elves behind on their Christmas quota.
Fred is probably the least of Santa's problems. The jolly old elf is fighting morbid obesity caused by the endless generosity of the world's little one leaving out too many milk and cookies for him to eat. Corporate already having given the Easter bunny his notice, has sent an efficiency expert Clyde (Kevin Spacey dressed in a Clark Kent costume but still acting like Lex Luthor) to hopefully shut him down permanently. Santa is only one strike away from being replaced by Chinese labor.
Guess who will have to step in to save Christmas?
To make a Bad Santa type movie with an actual bad Santa would be box office poison. So Fred Claus can't help but to be a homogenized Elf spread served on a crusty bagel- something that is just barely good though not quite kosher.
It lets the rest of the religious universe crash what is normally a large and loud private party of one sect.
Fred stamps every naughty file as nice. "Every child deserves a Christmas present," he says, to a flustered Santa trying to patiently explain to Fred that the factory can't make enough gifts for everyone.
As Santa's surrogate on Christmas Eve Fred passes out gifts to even Muslim and Jewish families.
If Clyde (read Lex Luthor) had gotten a Superman cape many Christmases ago when he was number one on the naughty list he wouldn't be such a pud. The right gift, at the right time can turn an evil genius to good- it can transform the world.
Fred Claus is a Christmas movie that comes close to suggesting that the world be better with less of the Kris and more the Kringle spirit. It wants a universal Santa Day that will celebrate the diversity of the world.
It is the only Christmas movie I know which wants to win a Nobel peace prize. Movies can come up with the weirdest subtext when a bored director (Kevin Dobkin of Wedding Crashers fame) tries to shake things up a bit.
Fred Claus is not naughty enough to deserve coal in its stocking, but not nice enough to produce visions of dancing sugar plums. It gets a B, because there are no truly naughty Christmas movies.
The Credits:
Directed by David Dobkin; written by Dan Fogelman based on a story by Jessie Nelson and Mr. Fogelman; director of photography, Remi Adefarasin; edited by Mark Livolsi; music by Christophe Beck; production designer, Allan Cameron; produced by Joel Silver, Ms. Nelson and Mr. Dobkin; released by Warner Brothers Pictures. Running time: 107 minutes.
WITH: Vince Vaughn (Fred Claus), Paul Giamatti (Santa Claus), Miranda Richardson (Annette Claus), John Michael Higgins (Willie), Elizabeth Banks (Charlene), Rachel Weisz (Wanda), Kathy Bates (Mother Claus), Kevin Spacey (Clyde), Ludacris (DJ Donnie), Bobb'e J. Thompson (Slam) and Jorge Rodero (Willie's body)
"Fred Claus" is rated PG (Parental guidance suggested). Sexual innuendo and ninja elf violence.
Copyright 2007 by Jonathan Moya
http://jonathanmoya.com
Originally posted in the rec.arts.movies.reviews newsgroup. Copyright belongs to original author unless otherwise stated. We take no responsibilities nor do we endorse the contents of this review.
