I think its a lie from the beginning. People are afraid that this may be it, "I may not get another person who can stand me" or something. And then through time, shit just starts coming out on a larger scale. Thus, hidden emotions which have been bottled up for so long explode out and relationships end badly.
No I'm not bitter.
__________________ Thanks to Pittman for the sig
"I don't care if I fall, as long as someone picks up my gun and keeps on shooting." -Ernesto Guevara.
No matter the type of relationship, an essential ingredient is trust. Without trust no relationship can flourish. Another key is communication, or lack of. Couples have to learn to talk and listen to one another effectively.
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I am not driven by people’ s praise and I am not slowed down by people’ s criticism.
You only live once. But if you live it right, once is enough. Wrong. We only die once, we live every day!
Make poverty history.
to noone's surprise I agree with Storm. Trust and Communications are key. However Love and Compassion are also essential (altho this might seem obvious I know a few 'older' couples where I seriously doubt it still that obvious)
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Seriously, look at human mortality rates back in the 19th Century. The average life expectancy was a lot lower than it is now. People generally didn't have relationships that had to last for fifty years.
they go into relationships without acknowledging that a relationship is about 2 people, not just their self. SO their actions tend to focus on one person and eventually it will break down.
LOL other times its just that the people are not compatible.
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She is back with you now, so take care of her
I found believe it or not John Gray's Men are From Mars Women Are From Venus to give me pretty good scope why relationships fail.
I highly recommend you read it. Note that it is about relationships that are happening rather than how to start relationships.
I found the most interesting parts to be the 12 types of love and how some types of love are more important for each sex and when all are considered can make relationships SIGNIFICANTLY sturdier and infallible to failure. If I remember correctly:
[Both sexes need all 12 types of love ultimately]
Women's 6 primary love needs:
1] Caring : Man shows interest in woman's feelings and concern for her well-being [Women begin to trust him more and she becomes more open and receptive]
2] Understanding : Man listens with out judgement but with empathy when she expresses her feelings and she feels heard and understood [Then is is easier for woman to reciprocate by giving him acceptance]
3] Respect : Man prioritizes her needs, wishes and considers her thoughst and feelings [esp. flowers, remembering events] [If respected it is easier for her to appreciate him]
4] Devotion : Man makes her feel adored and special - more important than his other occupations [If she feels like she is No.1 in his life she admires him]
5] Validation : Man accepts and confirms validity of her feelings - giving her the right to feel the way she does [Woman wants to give him approval]
6] Reassurace : Man repeatedly shows he cares, understands and respects and validates and is devoted to her she will feel she is continually loved
Men's Primary Love Needs
1] Trust : Woman's attitude is open and receptive. She believes he is doing his best and wants best for her. If shes shows positive faith in her man's abilities he feels trusted and thus VERY loved [He is then more caring to her feelings and needs]
2] Acceptance : Woman lovingly recieves man without trying to change him and affirms he is being favourably recieved. Not that she thinks he is perfect but simply that she is not trying to improve him - she trusts him to improve himself [Man feels accepted finds it easier to listen and give her understanding]
3] Appreciation : Woman acknowledges recieved personal benefit and value from man's efforts and behaviour. man knows his effort is not wasted and is thus encouraged to give more [Appreciated man automatically empowered and motivated to respect her more]
4] Admiration : Man feels woman's admiration. Woman regards him with wonder, delight and when she is happily amazed by his unique characteristics e.g. humour, strength, integrity etc. [and all the other dozens of things women look for in men] [Admired man feels secure enough to devote himself to her and adore her]
5] Approval : Woman's approving attitude acknowledges the goodness in a man and expresses overall satisfaction with him [not necessarily agreeing with him] - trying to recognise the good things and reasons he does rather than bad [Approved man easily validates woman's feelings]
6] Encouragement : Woman's encouraging attitude gives hope, courage to a man - expresses confidence in his abilities and character. When women express trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval it encourages a man to be best he can be [and is the best way to improve a man] [Man who feels encouraged is motivated to give her loving reassurance]
If kids were taught in school about these things it would help the sexes really understand each other and quench the thirst to attack the opposite sex. Relationships are about reciprocating imo
I highly recommend the book. Next step is to get partner to read it
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KMC Community Forums
Jan 6th, 2007 04:24 AM
Thanks to Pittman for the sig
