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Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor
manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following
warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol
containers:
_____
WARNING
The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra and panties.
_____
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when
you are not.
_________
WARNING
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
_________
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and
over again that you love them.
_____
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
__________
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are
really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
__________
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
_____
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug
burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
________
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
_____
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing
WITH you.
_____
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
_____
WARNING:
The crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack you tink you can tipe real gode

that reminds me, heres an actjual sign in a parking lot that had a slight typo and this is what it said:"please do not stand or shit down in the middle of the lot" its supposed to be "sit down"

heres one on a hair dryer "do not use while in water"

On christmas Lighs: For Indoor Or outdorr use ONLY

As opposed to???

no you know when you rent a video game from blockbuster, if you look on the back theres a warning saying "theres a chance youll get a seizure, and that you should take a 10-15 minute break every hour, they tell you do this because playing video games for a couple hours can make your muscles, skin and joints hurt they say you should take a break even if you dont feel you need it, and if your hands or wrists hurt they actually tell you to stop playing, and theres about 2 more paragraphs of this crap its great, next time you rent a game look

its not a warning but its one of the best labels, on 2 liter bottles of soda theres always a label saying NO REFILL, which means someone had to try to go back to the store to get a refill

Here is another warning that you can find on a hairdryer:

Do not use while sleeping

yeah ive tried that one a couple of times but i cant seem to pull it off

Here's some more~

On Boot's Children Cough medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication" (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head-colds off those forklifts)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: may cause drowsiness." (and I'm taking this because??????)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now somebody out there, help me on this, I'm a bit confused)

On Sunsbury's Peanuts: "Warning contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

Here is a few more~

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (Idon't blame the company, I blame the parents on this one)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap" (and that would be how?????)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chains with your hands or genitals" (......was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

about that chainsaw one, let me tell you that doesnt work. thats why i have to squat when i pee now

Well let me tell you, I could have lived my whole life being perfectly fine without hearing that lol j/k

its my job to warn and inform

Somebody else needs to post so cool stuff in here

on a can of axe deoderant it says "do not spray in eyes"

"Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.

blah blah blah blah blah blah

what?

nothing I'm just bored is all

wells thats no reason to speak gibberish is it?

ghslfjfklshjsfklhjkldfh

if your gonna do it, do it right.. Nic..fluc..coorn...day...flu

arffo.....glar....mafa...boobs.

gorsh..floing ..jubbba...wubba

i need a life

May irritate eyes....on a can of mace

Ummm yeah this is MY jibberish

JFKLADJKLDSGJKLSFHJLSKH

Here's a warning sign we can all learn from: -

On My father's sleep pills, "Injesting will cause drowsyness"

drunkensss!!!