Basic rules for driving in the USA

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BunnyWolf
Basic rules for driving in the USA...

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real American driver never uses them.

2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or somebody else will fill in that space, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered "going with the flow."

4. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. The other guy doesn't have anything to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and as late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are apparently not enforceable in the metro area during rush hour.

8. Learn to swerve abruptly. USA is the home of High-Speed Slalom Driving thanks to the RTA, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.

9. It is traditional in the USA to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes.

10. Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way.

11. Never take a green light at face value. Always look left and right before proceeding.

12. Remember that the goal of every American driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary.

13. Real American women drivers can apply eye makeup at 75 kph in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

14. Heavy fog and rain are no reasons to change any of the previously listed rules. These weather conditions are God's way ensuring a natural selection process for body shops, junkyards, and new vehicle sales.

nazgulinthedark
laughing out loud so true

These are not only american driving rules; they're the same in this whole world

BLACKANGEL
But you see americans do it the most. My father does most of those rules.

So does my whole family; and family of all of my friends; and most of the drivers I see on streets; and I'm not from America

BLACKANGEL
Ok im just saying mostly Americans do it.

Tired Hiker
I followed all of those rules five times each in the past hour alone.

realworlddreams
fine, but bunnywolf is in the UK, how does he/she (??) know wut its like here? I personally dont do that...yet.

Tired Hiker
I live in the US, so we drive on the right side of the road not the left as you all know, but there is this one short cut to my mom's house where if you drive on the wrong side of the road, you can get there faster without going all the way around the block. So, if a cop ever pulls me over for doing it, I will say with a thick heavy accent, "I'm sorry, officer. I thought I was in bloody England!"

BLACKANGEL
lol

DeNiro
i almost got in a accident yesterday thank god that guy swerved outof my way

BunnyWolf
RWD> I personally don't know how they drive in US, 'cos ye I'm from UK. I got these driving rules in an email from a friend. I never made 'em up or owt

Beast> Maybe these rules do apply to other countries other than the US and I probably shouldn't have used the title 'Basic rules for driving in the USA' but that is what the title in the email was so that is what I used.

DeNiro
no turst me that is how everyone in america drives I drive good and im 16 though i never do ne stupid shit

realworlddreams
the only time people REALLY drive bad is when they see you're driving in a "student driver" car (like a couple weeks ago...) then they pull shit like u wouldnt believe...

Trinity_Matrix
laughing out loud heehee...

DeNiro
O mang i luve ****ing with those student drivers cars i will tail gate them a lil bit then when the light turns yellow i honk my horn so they will go threw it and then i can only imagine they are getting yelled at laughing out loud i used to mess with them when i was on my bikes also i would see one coming dow the street and i would jump off my bike and dive into the closest yard hoping not to get hit laughing out loud

kalantiaw
i didn't know i was that american... i do those things while shifting into second gear and talking on the phone during which i take a sip of my cafe latte... except for the make up thing...

DeNiro
My friend Tucker has a stick shift jeep at he was

1 smoking a ciggrett.
2 talking on the phone
3 changing a cd
4 shifting
5. stirring at the same time one day i was like MY GOD

kalantiaw
and they say men can't multi task... we multi task like a motherf*cker... but only when we drive.

DeNiro
hell yea the best i have done so far was eating a hamgbuger talking on the phone stirring and changing the radio

WindDancer
HAHAHA I like #4 is so true!!!!

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