Deep Thoughts by RZA...a thread about poetry and stuff

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Ahem...*clears throat*

I title this "The Winds of Change"

I met a girl named Karen
She seemed really sweet
I thought she had it all
In fact, I thought she was really neat

I took her to a hotel
a lovely stately home
she looked at me seductively
I switched off my mobile phone

I dined and romanced her
bought her flowers and wine
then whisked her up the staircase
to room one ninety nine

Lovingly I carried her
into the bathroom suite
I had filled the place with candles
put down the toilet seat!

I placed her in the bubbles
and she gave a sensual laugh
but the ambiance soon vanished
when she farted in the bath.

*Takes bow*

Thank you, Thank you....


I title this one...'Goodbye to an Old Friend'


Now I'm old and feeble,
And my pilot light is out,
What used to be my sex appeal
Is now my water spout.

'Twas a time, when of it's own accord
From my trousers it would spring,
But now I have a part time job
To find the blasted thing.

I used to be embarrassed
To make that thing behave,
For every single morning
It would stand and watch me shave.

But as old age approaches
It sure gives me the blues,
To see it hang it's withered head
And watch me tie my shoes. sad

Thank you...thank you...

More to come....

lol.... well... I'm not sure what to say to those... stick out tongue


That's a long list lol

laughing laughing omg thats hilarious, love it!

Amusing Quotes about women...

"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."
"Women should be obscene and not heard."
"I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls."
-- Groucho Marx

"All women are good - good for nothing, or good for something."
-- Miguel De Cervantes

"For me there are only two type of women: goddesses and doormats."
-- Pablo Picasso

"Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend."
-- Marcel Achard

"Women: Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbours seeing."
-- Sean Williamson

"You don't know a women till you've met her in court."
-- Norman Mailer

"A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after."
-- Gloria Steinem

"Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both."
-- Samuel Butler

"Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own one."
-- W.C. Fields

"Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone."
-- Lenny Bruce

"One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money."
-- Edgar Watson Howe

"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often."
-- Oliver Herford

"Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon."
-- Tim Allen

"Why would I make one woman so miserable when I can make so many women very happy?"
-- Benny Hill

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
-- Lewis Grizzard

"My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects."
-- Les Dawson

"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her."
-- W.C. Fields

"A girl phoned me the other day and said ... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home."
-- Rodney Dangerfield

"How do I write women so well?
I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."
-- Melvin Udall


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