Harry potter 7 my way!!!!!

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cundiff11
I hope this is good. If you like it PLEASE tell me because i never really want to write if people
don't want me to. Even if you don't like it tell me because then ill stop.





Harry was at the weasley's, in Fred and Georges old room. He was sitting holding hands with Ginny, who looked as beatiful as ever. They were both looking out the window, thinking about dumbledore, and going through the pains of death. They were both thinking the same thoughts: why did it have to be him? what did he do to deserve this? why couldn't it have been me instead?
They both felt guilty, even though they could do nothing about his death. They were sitting there for half an hour, when the door burst open, and Mrs. Weasley came in. "Harry, Ginny, lunch is ready, come down to eat. I made best onion soup." They both stood up lazily. " We're coming, mom." Jenny said. Mrs. Weasley shut the door. Genny smiled at harry, than came close together and kissed him. They stood in that embrace for what felt like forever. Finally they let go. They walked toward the door and raced down the stairs. Fred, George, Ron, Hermione, Mr. weasley, mrs. weasley, and lupin were all sitting at the tables. Harry had just lifted the spoon to his mouth when he hear a "knock,knock,knock". he went to the door and opened it, and saw, nobody......


Tell me if you like. I think it sucks, but, you know, im probably right.

Barker
It's intriguing, but remember to Start a new paragraph every time someone speaks. It also seems like you're rushing a bit. Slow it down, and toss in a few more details. stick out tongue

Oh yeah, and you mentioned someone named Jenny in there. ermm

Ginny? stick out tongue

Running Mascara
That was good. And like Barker said toss in a few more details big grin

Brit531
Same with what they said, but there was a lot of grammer mistakes as well as spelling. Though I know in time it will get better. Keep it up! wink

ChiquitaZ
If you have spelling errors, you can put it in word first, which will spellcheck it, and then copy & paste it into here. angel

'Cause it doesn't have spellcheck in here. sad

Barker
Originally posted by ChiquitaZ
If you have spelling errors, you can put it in word first, which will spellcheck it, and then copy & paste it into here. angel

'Cause it doesn't have spellcheck in here. sad
Actually, yes, KMC does have spell check.

Thorinn
PWNT?

ChiquitaZ
Originally posted by Barker
Actually, yes, KMC does have spell check.

Really? shock

well your just going to have to show me this...shifty

d-fly_girl008
Pretty good! Just do as the others say, and it'll be much better!

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