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Ok ppl. Whats that verdict and where do you draw the line?

Nah, easy cakes.

Most of my friends are the opposite sex. It works as long as the lines aren't crossed.

My family is all guys and all my cousins are all guys except for one older female cousin. I moved a lot and most of my neighbors were all guys so for me, it's easier to hang out with guys. I understand them better.

It all depends on attraction, for me. I can't be "just friends" with a woman that I'm attracted too. I'm a jealous hearted person, and having to put up with the fact that a girl I like is being cornholed by some other ******* isn't something I can stomach. So, if a girl I like doesn't feel the same about me, I prefer to keep my distance.

I could feasibly be just friends with a girl who liked me, but I didn't like back. But, for the sake of having consistent principles, I generally keep my distance from women whom don't have mutual feelings with me.

So yah, that's pretty much where I draw the line.

Gonna agree with Blax mostly.

My own thoughts:

I'll be friends with a girl who I don't like romantically and who also doesn't like me romantically if she's willing to be treated like I treat my guy friends. (very harshly)
It's only complicated if you try to hang out when one person likes another. Also for most guys they only stay friends with females for the future possibility of romance or just sex.

Blax and Harry Burns said it best:


zFWGOKuFyjk



But there is an amendment:


PuSyX2d1tbY

Except for when the best friend of the opposite sex is gay...

Hence, why women have so many gay friends.

What, one 'o them queerosexuals? Yeah, maybe in France nancyboy, but not in Uh Merica.

men and women cannot be friends, generally speaking.

oh, all you men with prehistoric brains

Originally posted by Lara
Ok ppl. Whats that verdict and where do you draw the line?

Most men who are 'best friends' with a female are either betas or have been dumped by her and are prepared to be in her life as a *****. Both types of male deserve to dire for having watched to much Friends growing up!

So, most of the male posters can't be friends with the opposite sex because their brains only think in regards to sex? LOL

Makes sense, really.

Ok so hered the deal:


my best mate, Rob. We've been in each others pockets for 9 years. We got on like a house on fire instantly. Would do pretty much any thing for each other. We've always had a weird connection. That no one else understands. Many people get the wrong impression when we are out even though we have never been more than friends.

Mutual feeling have been expressed on a few occassions but nothing has come of it. We've always been in relationships. He recently got engaged to his current interest. Ive nursed him through more than enough bad relationships. Im not sure whats going on at the moment its like he wants the best of both worlds. I dont know. HELP ME PPL!!!!

Originally posted by Lara
Ok so hered the deal:


my best mate, Rob. We've been in each others pockets for 9 years. We got on like a house on fire instantly. Would do pretty much any thing for each other. We've always had a weird connection. That no one else understands. Many people get the wrong impression when we are out even though we have never been more than friends.

Mutual feeling have been expressed on a few occassions but nothing has come of it. We've always been in relationships. He recently got engaged to his current interest. Ive nursed him through more than enough bad relationships. Im not sure whats going on at the moment its like he wants the best of both worlds. I dont know. HELP ME PPL!!!!

You come to KMC for dating advice? Good luck with that....

Anyway, my first thought is after you reject him he will probably kill himself as he has been waiting around for this a long time pretending to be your friend, could you live with yourself if that happened?

Originally posted by Deja~vu
So, most of the male posters can't be friends with the opposite sex because their brains only think in regards to sex? LOL

No, it's more of an investment issue.

If someone is investing time/energy/money in something, then they will be expecting a return. If there is no return to be had then there is no reason to invest.

I find it sad that humans cannot separate sex from love and love from sex.

Some can.

I like those people. If one of my best friends was Jennifer Connelly, I would have a hard time separating sex from friendship. However, I could do it because I am not ruled by my passions. If you can't resist...meditate or go to a doctor.

Originally posted by dadudemon
I find it sad that humans cannot separate sex from love and love from sex.

Some can.

I like those people. If one of my best friends was Jennifer Connelly, I would have a hard time separating sex from friendship. However, I could do it because I am not ruled by my passions. If you can't resist...meditate or go to a doctor.

You are a beta male.

Maybe even a gamma male.

Originally posted by Bardock42
Maybe even a gamma male.

I do not know him well enough, he seems like the sort who might fluff me for a date and sit in the corner of the room watching till we tell him we need to be cleaned up with his mouth.

Lara, Lara, Lara, 9 years is a long time to be friends with someone without it being awkward in changing it around, but who knows, you could always give it a try if it's mutual.

Go ahead and get back with us. lol

Originally posted by The Alpha Male
You are a beta male.

That's true. Marriage and kids will do that to you. That's backed up by actual science. Oh the days of alpha-nesssss!

Originally posted by Lara
Ok so hered the deal:


my best mate, Rob. We've been in each others pockets for 9 years. We got on like a house on fire instantly. Would do pretty much any thing for each other. We've always had a weird connection. That no one else understands. Many people get the wrong impression when we are out even though we have never been more than friends.

Mutual feeling have been expressed on a few occassions but nothing has come of it. We've always been in relationships. He recently got engaged to his current interest. Ive nursed him through more than enough bad relationships. Im not sure whats going on at the moment its like he wants the best of both worlds. I dont know. HELP ME PPL!!!!

and he wants to see you naked, i bet..

Oh! I think iv been misunderstood. Im trying to figure out what the hell is going no and what im doing! Lol. I asked on here as there is no one I can ask in rl who wouldnt pass it down the line. Too many people could get hurt at this information although nothing has gone on between rob and I other than talk.


Do I love him? Yes I do, he's my best friend. Am I in love with him? Thats the killer question. Am I jealous? No. Do I want to keep seeing him f. Up his life with schizos that hurt him? No bloody way, in fact Im sick of watching him make the same cock ups over and over again. Do I think this girl is right for him? No. Do I think he should go ahead and marry her? HELL NO!


The three me up went out for dinner with another friend on Friday night.
She turned up from work in a really weird mood. Thought nothing more of it until she turned a perfectly harmless banter into some kind of competition and assult on me which was also very hurtful to rob. She basically spat at me across the table about the termination she had of robs child, that I had no idea what that was like (ok fair one, I dont but im firmly against abortion but it was HER choice, rob didnt get a second thought, hes still really cut up about it. But had I been in her place, I would have kept the child regardless!) then she continued on about back up plans for marriage and children! Thta I was robs back up plan. Baring in mind this isnt a conversation rob and I have had at all! The whole thing made me feel pretty damn worthless not so mention blood boiling angry! When rob brought her up on it apparently she wasnt even aware of aware of what she was saying let alone that she had stressed him to the point of spewing and angered me to the point of wanting to subject her to a long painful torturous death.

thoughts on this ppl?

Sounds like Rob needs a new woman.

The unfortunate thing about your situation is that, really, if Rob habitually dates women like this than it's because he has some kind of latent attraction to them, in which case, there's nothing you can really do to change that. Rob will only learn his lesson regarding win via experience.

All you can do is be there for him when the shit hits the fan. Don't give your opinion on the woman unless he specifically asks you for it, and even then tread lightly. You don't want to give the impression to him, her or your own conscious that you're trying to split them up. That won't be good for any of you.

Since we only live life once (maybe), try to get out of life what you want. Is Rob really worth all of this? If he is then what are you waiting for? Sounds like you want to be with Rob.



Keep in mind that there is over 3 billion men in this world. Billllliooon.

Originally posted by dadudemon
Since we only live life once (maybe), try to get out of life what you want. Is Rob really worth all of this? If he is then what are you waiting for? Sounds like you want to be with Rob.



Keep in mind that there is over 3 billion men in this world. Billllliooon. A billion's the new million. Voli's a new vodka. Forty is the new 30. Baby you're a rockstar.

And here's the answer:

T_lh5fR4DMA

Friends of the opposite sex can be complicated IF lines are not clearly drawn and respected, not just in behavior but in thinking.

Know where you're coming from in your head (eg, "We're friends: that's it" - OR - realize where you want to be in your heart (eg, I want more than friendship). Either way, a decision has to be made. Once done, then you'll either sh*t or get off the pot.

Good luck.

My best friend is a woman. I have no romantic feelings for her, and she is pretty damn hot.

There are certain instances when I've been friends with a woman, and then develop feeling, most likely due to sexual attraction, but either we jumped in the sack together, or resolved it with words. I don't find it hard to be friends with women, those guys who say they can't just because of physical attraction, or because they'd get jealous, are just possessive by nature.

Originally posted by Lara
Oh! I think iv been misunderstood. Im trying to figure out what the hell is going no and what im doing! Lol. I asked on here as there is no one I can ask in rl who wouldnt pass it down the line. Too many people could get hurt at this information although nothing has gone on between rob and I other than talk.


Do I love him? Yes I do, he's my best friend. Am I in love with him? Thats the killer question. Am I jealous? No. Do I want to keep seeing him f. Up his life with schizos that hurt him? No bloody way, in fact Im sick of watching him make the same cock ups over and over again. Do I think this girl is right for him? No. Do I think he should go ahead and marry her? HELL NO!


The three me up went out for dinner with another friend on Friday night.
She turned up from work in a really weird mood. Thought nothing more of it until she turned a perfectly harmless banter into some kind of competition and assult on me which was also very hurtful to rob. She basically spat at me across the table about the termination she had of robs child, that I had no idea what that was like (ok fair one, I dont but im firmly against abortion but it was HER choice, rob didnt get a second thought, hes still really cut up about it. But had I been in her place, I would have kept the child regardless!) then she continued on about back up plans for marriage and children! Thta I was robs back up plan. Baring in mind this isnt a conversation rob and I have had at all! The whole thing made me feel pretty damn worthless not so mention blood boiling angry! When rob brought her up on it apparently she wasnt even aware of aware of what she was saying let alone that she had stressed him to the point of spewing and angered me to the point of wanting to subject her to a long painful torturous death.

thoughts on this ppl?
It's hard to see a friend get hurt over and over again, but there is nothing you can do. If he asks your advise then talk about what you see is his mistakes. I have a friend (male) like that and hell if he still makes the same mistakes. I just shake my head and say, it must be his own path and he vchose it. I care though..I just try to be supportive of his feelings. Makes me want to slap the shit out of him sometimes..lol and say WAKE UP!

That feeling....

...when a female facebook friend just asked the same question, then posted the video that was linked in this thread.

*looks suspiciously at Lara*

Originally posted by Deja~vu
Most of my friends are the opposite sex. It works as long as the lines aren't crossed.

My family is all guys and all my cousins are all guys except for one older female cousin. I moved a lot and most of my neighbors were all guys so for me, it's easier to hang out with guys. I understand them better.

Mine too it seems that guys are easy to talk to then girls are. And I have alot of guy friends I talk to at work while the girls are not as friendly and are mosty back stabbers anyway.

Sounds like Rob is the one with the real issues here.

1) dating a jealous *****
If that was me and the girl I was dating told my good friend of 9 ****ing years that sort of stuff I'd tell her to GTFO

2) staying with a woman who murdered your child
lolno

3) not making a firm decision regarding the feelings between you two.
lara is having issues cause this guy won't or hasn't made his feelings on the matter clear

He's obviously a beta with no understanding of the real world. He needs to man up and dump that horrible thing. His own ignorance and immaturity is causing his problems. Probably also has low self esteem to think he has to settle for someone like that.

pop psychology makes me chuckle




























































































then cry

Originally posted by inimalist
pop psychology makes me chuckle




























































































then cry

Like sex.

On that note:

It feels like the 'alpha/beta' terms have really gained popularity lately, but maybe I just started noticing them? Or did they come from some pop culture source when I wasn't paying attention?

Anyways, it seems like being a straight, non-misogynistic man makes you inherently 'beta' (where the A in Alpha can be understood to mean *******) but that could be a skewed interpretation of what the terms are meant to mean.

And being a gay guy isn't even ranked on the greek alphabet, I guess.

Originally posted by Existere
On that note:

It feels like the 'alpha/beta' terms have really gained popularity lately, but maybe I just started noticing them? Or did they come from some pop culture source when I wasn't paying attention?

Anyways, it seems like being a straight, non-misogynistic man makes you inherently 'beta' (where the A in Alpha can be understood to mean *******) but that could be a skewed interpretation of what the terms are meant to mean.

And being a gay guy isn't even ranked on the greek alphabet, I guess.
I've never met a person who called themselves an Alpha Male who had anything interesting to say.

Pretty sure Quanchi112 is their Caucus Leader.

Originally posted by Lara
Ok so hered the deal:


my best mate, Rob. We've been in each others pockets for 9 years. We got on like a house on fire instantly. Would do pretty much any thing for each other. We've always had a weird connection. That no one else understands. Many people get the wrong impression when we are out even though we have never been more than friends.

Mutual feeling have been expressed on a few occassions but nothing has come of it. We've always been in relationships. He recently got engaged to his current interest. Ive nursed him through more than enough bad relationships. Im not sure whats going on at the moment its like he wants the best of both worlds. I dont know. HELP ME PPL!!!!


You need to be honest with him. If you love him, and enjoy being around him, stop being stupid and be with him. If not, stand on the sidelines and watch as some other chick walks away with your best friend. I would think that the best relationship a person can have is with their best friend.

Nothing sucks more than sitting and reminiscing over the one that got away. In time that's likely what will happen to you both, you'll become pretty far away. The both of you will likely have significant others, and those people will refuse to entertain your odd relationship, because of jealousy.

This sounds a lot like "My Best Friend's Wedding," and we all know how that turned out. It really does sound like you may more than like your friend, and it also sounds like you know him really well. Do you think he'd do the same if you were in his situation?

I dunno, but I think it's worth a shot with him. At the very least, you shouldn't leave these things unsaid, or only said to a bunch of strangers.

It may sound like a cheesy line from a movie but the truth is you have to tell him how you feel, and that you have strong feelings for him. Especially if you have some understanding after 9 years of his motives to go wtih this other girl, does he know her? has he been with her long? does she know him/carre for him? it may be hard to find these things out but my suggestion is to tell him at least that you care a lot about him, in more serious terms than just as friends.

Otherwise like me you will no doubt end up feeling a little broken, especially if slowly he gets drawn away from what made your relationship together special, whether friends or something serious just because the influences of these girls are making him change. Eventually he may try and break away from you for some reason, just because hes been influenced by them and as you said here;



Is worrying because hte more hes with these other girls, the less he may appreciate you and the more he will agree with people who think its strange or weird how close you are and try and create some distance when their should be none for any good reason. Its a social thing and something you could probably work on better than I, since you know him but I will conclude with what I said, as hard as it may be you should make it clear to him that hes important, and not just a friend like any other.

Originally posted by Omega Vision
I've never met a person who called themselves an Alpha Male who had anything interesting to say.

Pretty sure Quanchi112 is their Caucus Leader.

That is because of your innate geekiness. Most Beta's like you are attracted to Alpha Males and want to serve us sexually, but you want to feel intellectually superior to make up for your other 'shortcomings'. It's O.K. if you ever marry I'll service your wife for you if she's hot.

Stop with the Alpha male shit. you know why? We are not dogs, are we? but wait......Male....dogs...hmmm

Thats the problem. We are more intelligent than dogs on an intellectual level. It is deeper. It is love and caring for another person not because we want something in return, but because we care about the person. When they hurt, we hurt. It's empathy, caring and love. Now can it become romantic love? It could. I believe it's great to spend your life with your best friend. Who wouldnt want to do that? Would you want to spend your life with someone who isn't your best friend? Many do, sadly enough.

{edit} If I was gay I'd spend my life with my best friend, but I'm not. But I have a male best friend and yes, we are romantically inclined. We started off as best friends until one day he sugested we take it further. I said, OK, let us see how it goes and so it has been 3 years now. Yes, we have some issues as many couples do, but we still and always will be best friends even if we stop seeing each other in a romantic way. It is agreed because why? We are BEST FRIENDS. And more than that is that we care about each other because we know each other deeply even before we became romanticaly involved. I've always thought that if it didn't work out, then I would want him to be happy anyway with someone who would be better suited to him. Why? Because I care about him.

If there is any kind of attraction between the two... Then contact needs to be kept distant.... I've had enough emotional and physical cheating to say that if your girl or guy is uncomfortable with a certain person... But let's you have a wide amount of freedom... To trust their judgment....

If this person who is your spouse restricts you for
Havin male or female friends... You have an insecure spouse and that will go bad eventually.. Whether cause you will feel like your freedoms are one or cause the other person needs too much attention and can/will find it elsewhere when you are providing sufficient amounts...

Even my best female friend now... I thought there was a little spark between is so I kept my distance... But the first time we got drunk we've made out.. So then I try to keep her at a distance cause the first time was my fault and she swears there's no attraction even to this day calling that night a mistake... But if she ever gets drunk around me she gets
Way too touchy feely. :-/ I actually keep almost all my contact with her now to phone calls simply to prevent anything...

Sometimes the guy likes the girl... Some times it's the other way... And then there's times its both... All those situations are not good for any relationship. No person should feel like you are intruding on their partner ever. And if they are uncomfortable... You may not be the one trying to steal the man.. But he's got feelings or you and his girl can sense it...

My current gf and I both knew when the other had eyes for others. It mad or a very rocky beginning. But currently I keep myself from even providing the appearance of infidelity.... Because sexually or mentally... Only certain things should be shared... With spouses.. Despite the range of your friendship.

Originally posted by Deja~vu
Stop with the Alpha male shit. you know why? We are not dogs, are we? but wait......Male....dogs...hmmm

Thats the problem. We are more intelligent than dogs on an intellectual leval. It is deeper. It is love and caring for another person not because we want something in return, but because we care about the person. When they hurt, we hurt. It's empathy, caring and love. Now can it become romantic love? It could. I believe it's great to spend your life with your best friend. Who wouldnt want to do that? Would you want to spend your life with someone who isn't your best friend? Many do.

We are 99% Chimps, **** minimalist and his psychology, pseudo science that it is. This is Biology, some are hard wired to dominate and women need to feel this. That's why so may women have rape fantasises. Feminists can deny they need to be subjugated, however the picture is far clearer when they beg to be taken hard from behind after a good spanking.

Originally posted by Pure Alpha Male
We are 99% Chimps, **** minimalist and his psychology, pseudo science that it is. This is Biology, some are hard wired to dominate and women need to feel this. That's why so may women have rape fantasises. Feminists can deny they need to be subjugated, however the picture is far clearer when they beg to be taken hard from behind after a good spanking. Pfft. I just can't have a rational convo with this type of thinking....sorry.

Just seems immature to me.

Originally posted by Deja~vu
Pfft. I just can't have a rational convo with this type of thinking....sorry.

I understand that, It got you hot and your female brain is kind of confused right now.

Interesting fact, What's the difference between Football and Rape?

Women don't like Football.

Originally posted by Pure Alpha Male
I understand that, It got you hot and your female brain is kind of confused right now.

Interesting fact, What's the difference between Football and Rape?

Women don't like Football. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. No more needs to be said.

Sad specimen of a male of today. Good luck lol

I'm sure your kind will die off soon. Better get with the program to live. lol

Originally posted by Deja~vu
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. No more needs to be said.

Sad specimen of a male of today. Good luck lol

Bebbie you need a spanking ;-)

Originally posted by Pure Alpha Male
Bebbie you need a spanking ;-) LOLOL.

OH??? And this turns your alpha male brain on? Knowing that y ou are dissssss-ed.

lol

U..lol






should have known. lol

You just got to love seeing old friends. LOL ...Account Restricted....ones. lolololol. God, it's been years. lol

"Alpha males" exist in the same way "n*ggers" exist. It's a figure of speech that describes a certain type of person. Quit being anal retentive nerds, guys.

Originally posted by RE: Blaxican
"Alpha males" exist in the same way "n*ggers" exist. It's a figure of speech that describes a certain type of person. Quit being anal retentive nerds, guys. Sure, I get that. They exist. Creating a whole scheme about Alpha/Beta whatever just to run with the idea eventually just sounds like pop psych bullshit though - using greek letters to try and provide false support for this idea that you have to be meek in order to be friends with a woman.

I agree with that; but they are valid categories, even if the vocabulary used for them is fake.

Oh well. Time to suck it up really. Hes gonna marry her but it wont last, that much I do know. And im a friggin brides maid! What makes it worse is they just spent a fortune on me in xmas presents which I feel really awkward about. Im terrible at receiving gifts. Let alone knowing his motives. . Time to forget about it I think.

Ohkay, now it REALLY sounds like "my best friend's wedding."

TALK TO LE GUY.

Originally posted by Pure Alpha Male
**** minimalist and his psychology, pseudo science that it is.

name recognition +1

Originally posted by inimalist
name recognition +1 Lucky.

Originally posted by inimalist
name recognition +1 Your name is not Minimalist.

Minimalist is the guy who's kind of like you but he's way cooler and more popular.

Originally posted by RE: Blaxican
Your name is not Minimalist.

Minimalist is the guy who's kind of like you but he's way cooler and more popular.

but does he have the street cred?

I didn't think so

EDIT: I'll take any coattails I can get

Not much left to talk about seeming as he and I have covered pretty much everything. I wont give him an ultimatum. If she makes him happy even for a brief time thats fine. Ill just have to catch the fall out. I seem to be good at that.

Bottom line is he knows how I feel and he knows that its making me a little loopy at times. Its not his problem its mine.

Like ive said before if its meant to happen it will, in the mean time ive got to get on with life.

In me own experience, any girl's that i have been just friends with, the lines did crossed and i'm no longer just friends with, different results per individual. But now that i'm older and slightly more matured perhaps I could have just a genuine friendship wit a gal.

maybe.

Do you date other people? If so, how does he react tot that. That should be a clue.