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I can't come to the telephone; doo-dah, doo-dah.

Leave your message when you hear the tone; oh, de doo-dah day.

Might be gone all night... Might be gone all day...

So leave a message when you hear the tone.

I'll call you back someday...

Hello?....Mujaffa?....Where are you and when you coming back??

what??i'm here.. and i'll always be back

Excellent man excellent!

thank you

Thank you for calling 217-2962. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your touch tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a big time phone system.

Yes I'd like to order a one toping pizza....whoops wrong number

I hate talking on answering machines so I never do.

I also don't like having them so I haven't got one on my phone at work, home and I haven't even got the divert set on my mobile either. My theory is, if they want to speak to me that badly they'll try again.

I have singing answerphones on my mobile....


Backstreet boys... I'll never answer the phone, I'll never answer the phone, Leave a message after the tone, and I'll never get round to calling you back...

Beatles... All you need is love... lalalala... all you need is love... lalalala... all you need is loove.... A life is all I need....

i have an answering machine...unfortunatley it's right in my room...so it's turned off most of the time. I'd hate this gadget as a working one.

Operatic music like Rossini's "Stabbat Matter": Hi, you've reached Hell. (Screams in the background.) We're busy being cleaned by the light of eternal truth right now, so if you leave your name, number, and a brief message, we'll get back to you at the end of time.

My old mate had a message that went...

"Hello....................................................................Oh, I'm sorry I'm not actually in".

You'd be half way through a sentace when you realised.

Hilarious!

(Star Trek theme in the background

(Voice 1 Room 17, the final frontier.

(Voice 2 These are the messages of Chad's answering machine. Its two semester mission: To seek out your name and your telephone number.

(Voice 3 To boldly inform you to wait for the tone.

Funny stuff! I can't stop laughing!

my answer machine says....

Hi you've reached Susan, or Padme, however you know me. If you are calling in regards to my recent break-up, please hang up......now.

Sounds like you got a lot of guys wanting to ask you out Padme!

I have a stalker right now actually

Ooooh PS, that really sucks.

What can we do to cheer you up?

I have some amusing naked pictures of Corran that we took while he was drunk. Want me to post them? Eh? eh?

I think that would be in bad taste,mech.

What, me posting them or Corran being naked?

umm nah I think I okay

Aaah, poor Corran. He'll be gutted when he sees this rejection.

Really though PS, is there anything that could be done to cheer you up?

not today

If a guy keeps asking for your phone number you could always do the old comedy number trick. Write down the number 770 5519 on a piece of paper, putting lines though the sevens in the European way and a straight leg on the nine too.

He'll try it and it won't work of course, but he'll get the message if he views the number from the back of the page.

Me and my friend here are attempting to figure this out. Hold on a moment....ok we got it now. Thanks so much for sharing that with us!

Its a good one if you're not keen to hand over your number.

Uh...you ok dude?

nice one!

It took me and my friend like a few minutes to figure that one out!

yeah same here

Luckily my friend Dom had some paper handy!

haha

Well.,..it was my paper to begin with but I let him use it to figure it out.

PISS...OFF...oh, I get it! I can take a hint! You don't want me!

*runs away crying*

there's your stalker
and here's another one , still star trek:

WE ARE BORG. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOUR PHONE CALL, AS IT HAS BEEN, IS NOW OVER. YOUR MESSAGE WILL BE ASSIMILATED AT THE BEEP. But we're not home right now. So leave a message and we'll assimilate you later

Hey Padme, I'll have you know people would pay good money to have my naked pics.................removed from existence.

no they wouldn't..you sick,sick man

hmm....then again if we post naked pics of Corran I may be able to pay for all four years of college

There is a plus side to it then!

Mujaffa, you appear to mis-interpreted my post, I was suggesting people would pay to have them removed rather than pay for them. Please read posts with a tad more care in future before commenting or replying to them.

"hello mother, hello father
here I am at Camp Grenada"

(see one of the episodes of The Simpsons to get it)

HAHA good one yerssot...my cell's answering machine,


"Good Day thank you for calling the Coffee House, we are unable to come to the phone....."

My dad called and thought he had accidently called my work!

Haha! My mom used to have a long-winded message on her answering machine that would scare my friends away!

"you've reached the answering machine of yerssot
if you're a girl, leave your sizes and phonenumber after the beeb,
if you're a guy, please don't call again
thank you"

"Hello......Hello.....sorry can't hear you, speak up.....hello.....oh just leave a message"

Voice 1: Gee, Dave, what do you feel like doing tonight?

Voice 2: Same thing we do every night, Rob... Try to take over

the world! (Sing

They're David and the Rob,

Yes, David and the Rob,

One is a drummer, the other needs a job.

They're not at home right now, so please don't have a cow,

Leave a message -- for David and the Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob.