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I had an accident a few months ago. I was driving around and taking care of errands. I finished my last errand and the shiit feeling hit me. I was about 10 minutes away from my house and I figured I could make it.

I swear I hit every red light on the way back. Everyone was driving slow. The cards were stacked against me.

I made it to the house and almost let it out before I got out of my car. I pinched my cheeks and walked like a mummy up to my door. Got inside the house and mummy walked to the bathroom. As I pulled my pants down it exploded everywhere.

Just everywhere. It was a mess. I had to throw out the pair of levis and underwear I was wearing. Had to throw out the bath rug that was in the bathroom. I cleaned it up well enough so that hopefully my maid wouldn't see it the next day

A couple years ago I got norovirus flu and was in the bathroom throwing up my lungs and involuntarily exploded out the ass like whoa. It was just sweatpants, but they were comfortable ones.

About 10 years ago. It happened about 2 days after I'd had a spinal fusion surgery. The doctor had warned me it was a possible side effect I might experience.

Originally posted by Raisen
I had an accident a few months ago. I was driving around and taking care of errands. I finished my last errand and the shiit feeling hit me. I was about 10 minutes away from my house and I figured I could make it.

I swear I hit every red light on the way back. Everyone was driving slow. The cards were stacked against me.

I made it to the house and almost let it out before I got out of my car. I pinched my cheeks and walked like a mummy up to my door. Got inside the house and mummy walked to the bathroom. As I pulled my pants down it exploded everywhere.

Just everywhere. It was a mess. I had to throw out the pair of levis and underwear I was wearing. Had to throw out the bath rug that was in the bathroom. I cleaned it up well enough so that hopefully my maid wouldn't see it the next day

You have a maid? Nice.

I have inflammatory bowel disease, and this has never happened to me.

Anal sphincter tight af.

Originally posted by AbnormalButSane
Anal sphincter tight af.

Cool superpower

Originally posted by Surtur
About 10 years ago. It happened about 2 days after I'd had a spinal fusion surgery. The doctor had warned me it was a possible side effect I might experience.



You have a maid? Nice.


having a maid is great dude. I hate cleaning and she comes once a week and cleans the master, the living room, and the guest bathroom. 70 dollars a week.

a maid combined with a gardner for 85 dollars a month and a car wash service for 50 dollars a month makes life better.

only thing I clean is myself and my dog

And you get to say the maid is on vacation if your place is a mess and have it be super accurate.

Originally posted by Nuke Nixon
And you get to say the maid is on vacation if your place is a mess and have it be super accurate.

never thought about that but that's true

Could there be anything more terrible feeling in your mind than knowing for certain you're just about to shit your pants?