The following gunfighters are locked inside a huge shopping mall and are forced to fight each other until there is one person/team left. Who survives? They have unlimited ammo. The shopping mall is well lit, but there are many dark corners and places for cover.
El Maricahi, armed with his dual pistols.
Mr. Smith (Last man standing), armed with his twin .45's.
Smith (Shoot 'em up), armed with a 9mm Beretta.
Mr. and Mrs. Smith (Mr. and Mrs. Smith), as a team. He is armed with a 9mm Glock, she with a silenced MP5 assault rifle.
John McClane, armed with a pistol and an MP5 assault rifle. McClane has body armor.
Bob Lee Swagger, armed with a 9mm Beratta and an M4 assault rifle. Swagger has body armor.
Martin Riggs and Roger Murtaugh. Riggs has his Beretta, Murtaugh has his wheel gun, and they both have MP5 assault rifles. They both have body armor.
El Wray (Planet Terror), armed with twin revolvers.
Vincent (Collateral), armed with his pistol.
Snake Plissken, armed with his twin revolvers.
I gave some of them body armor and some more weapons, because obviously some are more skilled than the others. Feel free to alter weaponry, or to add more combatants.
__________________
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
And McClane being the dirty fighter that he likes to be, they might be armoured rounds.
Also, you couldn't see it, but McClane has an extra Beretta parcel taped to his upper back with two rounds left in it.....for those special occasions.
Seriously(ish), I see see it as everybody kills or wounds everybody else until its Plisskin left facing McClane.
Riggs like always in the movies is first to be shot up out of he and his life partner.
And that against high calibre oppostion like this, and without emergency medical teams, that'd mean curtains for the mulleted one.
Murtaugh then flips and goes out in an emotional blaze of glory, nailed by Mr And Mrs Smith, who both then are rendered dead meat by an ambushing El Mariachi.
El Mariachi is then head shotted by Swagger.
El Wray and Vincent both fatally wound each other when they surprise each other, neither man being quick enough in this instance to get the drop on the other without getting hit themselves....
Swagger is about to take out the freshly fatally wounded but a waiting McClane who springs forth from an airvent and an overdose of MP5 rounds are later found in Swagger's bloodstream later at the morgue.
Hearing the gunfire go off, Smith (LMS) goes piling into the room all guns blazing filling the room with death.
When the smoke clears, McClane's foot kicks him in the head Karl style and then MP5 rounds slam through Smith's skull, shoulders and back.... he reads the corpse its Miranda rights in a particularly sarcastic fashion.
Plisskin and McClane both realising that they are the only ones left, stalk each iother for 3 hours before the face off. McClane has taken out harder/better standard of trained opposition than Plisskin, Id have to say McClane, not to mention the incredible luck making that Victory all the more certain.
Plisskin wounds McClane in the arm
But McClane having run out off MP5 rounds, has picked up the M4 that Swagger had and its that that cuts Plisskin's body nearly in half and blows off half of his visage. McClane makes a joke about faceoffs not being Plisskin's thing, punctuating it with the traditional 'Yippeekiyay motherf**ker', leaving him to laugh to himself in amazement that he didn't even need the concealed Beretta.
And they all lived happily ever after.
(Except the families of all those who were killed, of course.)
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"Van Zan is the Pinocchio of feces." - Lestov16
Last edited by Sadako of Girth on May 24th, 2009 at 10:52 AM
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
No doubt. Thats why I gave Riggs/Murtaugh and McClane machine guns and body armor.
__________________
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
I'm not familiar with all the characters but, the paired teams obviously have an advantage. However the Smiths are much superior to the Lethal Weapon team.
Bob Lee Swagger also has a very good chance. Unless everyone is wearing heavy body armor, his M4 will penetrate. Also, in this scenario, its all about headshots if you want to survive. I think Swagger has demonstrated he knows this and will do so accordingly.
So I think its between Smiths and Swagger.
Other teams....
* Lethal Weapon team clearly have the superior fire power, but there is an obvious skill gap between them and the top contenders.
* John McClane - no SUV around, so no such luck this time.
* Vincent - like someone said before, is not quite quick enough to get an instant kill before sustaining some injury. When he is playing with the best here, his methodical mozambique drill won't work too well. However, since he carries a .45, he has a good chance of penetrating body armor. The main reason, however, why I don't think he is a top contender is because he lost to a random cab driver in a shoot-out
Pretty much, except I think Swagger might fall to El Wray or Smith from the movie Shoot 'em up.
I had a thought, let's arm Mr. and Mrs. Smith with a glock each. But that doesnt really help the opposition, what with OSP and shit.
__________________
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
aw, you just hatin. You know as well as i do that he pwns this. McClane is so badass that he even kills his ancestor (mr Smith). Hey, hows come there is no Dirty Harry?
__________________ "If you tell the truth, you never have to remember anything" -Twain
(sig by Scythe)
You honestly think McClane is a better gunfighter than El Wray? Than Mariachi or Plissken? Better than Swagger or Vincent, or all the Smith's? Dude, please tell me you are kidding.
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All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
Better aim than El Wray, who "never misses?" Better in an all out gun battle than Mariachi? Guess you never saw "Shoot em up", when Smith takes on twenty and thirty men at a time, while starting out armed with a carrot.
McClane is going up against trained marksmen, men who do head shots in their sleep. Swagger, Wray, the Smith's (the couple and SEU Smith), Vincent and Plissken, gunfighting is like what they do. One well placed bullet and McClane is a goner. Escape from LA, Plissken takes out four thugs with four shots in less than a second.
Lookie lookie:
If you think McClane can take on the Smith's, you are, as Cypress says, Insane in the membrane. They take out the entire crew of trained assassins, dodge RPG fire, grenades, and gunfire from all angles, escaping virtually unscathed.
__________________
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
If im being serious. I'd definitely put my money on Clive Owen. This dude would most likely drop half of the that roster with a single clip. I do see McClane making it far though. I really don't think Riggs will survive very long. Murtaugh is the only brother he has ever had and he would be to busy keeping him safe to properly focus. Otherwise, i think he'd make it to the final three.
I think the final three would look like this
Clive Owen
McClane
El Wray
the only reason i say that McClane makes it to the final three is because he is more resourceful than most on this list. I think while the guns are blazing, McClane is going to be finding cover and like, Dirty Harry, he is going to wait for his shot. Riggs and McClane are very much alike, i believe, but Riggs is to much of a crazy fuk. Where McClane does insane things, he only does them when he has no other choice. I'd still say Riggs would make it to the top three if it werent for Murtaugh.
I really don't see anyone taking down, Clive Owen, though. Dude took out a warehouse of badguys while carrying a baby.
__________________ "If you tell the truth, you never have to remember anything" -Twain
(sig by Scythe)
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
Murtaugh goes down in seconds, prolly from a burst of auto fire from McClane. Riggs is enraged and goes berzerker and is unloading on McClane. McClane has to reload. He ducks around a corner and looks around. He sees no SUV and, since he quit smoking, he doesnt have his zippo. McClane peeks around the corner as Riggs reloads and BAM, McClane is dead, head shot by El Wray.
El Wray emerges and, seeing El Mariachi, engages Mariachi in a contest to who can twirl their pistols the fastest. BAM BAM, two dead mexicans, courtesy of Snake Plissken, who was hiding in the shadows.
BLAM BLAM BLAM Snake is dead, courtesy of Mrs. and Mrs. Smith. LSM Smith runs at the Smith couple from behind, but is cut down by SEU Smith. The Smith couple open fire on SEU Smith, but he dives behind a frozen yogurt stand.
Riggs is looking for a target when BLAMBLAMBAM, Vincent takes him out. Swagger emerges, opening fire on Vincent and the Smith couple. Vincent is hit, goes down, and rolls down a flight of stairs. The Smith couple open fire on Swagger, clipping him in the arm. Swagger goes to one knee, draws his pistol, and opens fire, hitting Mrs. Smith in the leg. Mr. Smith squeezes off two shots that bounce off Swaggers body armor.
Swagger, realizing he needs to retreat and regroup, runs downstairs and is tackled by Vincent, whose sidearm has jammed. They engage in h2h combat, Swagger quickly dispatching Vincent. Grabbing his pistol and reloading, Swagger returns to the fight.
The Smith couple and SEU Smith are engaged in a tense battle, bullets flying everywhere. Swagger takes aim on SEU Smith, but is cut down by Mrs. Smith.
In the end, it is the Smth couple and SEU Smith, eventually SEU Smith is overtaken and killed.
Mr. and Mrs. Smith get naked, shag like stoned test bunnies. Mr. Smith blows his load on McClanes dead corpse and they ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after.
How's THAT for a slice of fried gold?
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All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
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May 23rd, 2009 06:55 PM
