i see alot of people complain about their life and stuff and that they not living how they dreamed. so i want to know what alot of you want to do after you get out of collage or are wishing you could do right know.
i want to be a DJ for a rock station or and actress
__________________
"After coming into contact with a religious man
I always feel I must wash my hands."
-Friedrich Nietzsche
I want to be an actress. I have this burning ambition to someday star in a Tim Burton movie.
However,
I'm not entirely certain that any career is going to be an option for me. Not because I'm not qualified, no I'm an A student, I pass exams with amazing ease...no, it's because I honestly think I'm either going to be in prison or some sort of institution by the time I'm 20.
I'm not kidding, I really think that before too long I'm going to murder one of my classmates. I've been being tormented incesently for about 12 straight years, I recieved my first death threat at the age of 5. The problem is what they're doing isn't technically against any rules, so the most the teachers can do is tell them to lay off me, which means nothing to those prats. Plus, they do it little by little, each attack isn't that bad in itself, but over the years it's been like a dripping tap, drip, drip, drip, drip... and it's not just one person, it's everyone, all but a few of my close friends. They come over, they start asking me questions, in these really patronising voices, they won't leave me alone, then if I have anything in my hands or on the table near me, they take it off me, and if I try to get it back they accuse me of going psycho and then all their friend come over and start staring at me and taunting me, I feel like a dangerous animal in a cage at the zoo. On the bus, if anyone's going to have something thrown at them, or have someone smack them over the head or have someone kick the back of their seat it'll be me. People I don't even know call me names, everyone seems to know and hate me even though I've done nothing to them.
That's the part that gets to me most, they won't even tell me why they're doing it, they won't even tell me why...
*pauses* I can't believe I just wrote all that. I've never said that out loud before. Just goes to show that I trust the KMC members much more than anyone I know in real life
That wouldn't make any difference, like I said, it's not one person or even always people I know, so I have no reason to believe that moving to another school would change things at all. Plus, I can't move now, I'm half way through my GCSE course.
I don't want to tell anyone about it though, they'd say I was being stupid. I really do want to move schools though, I want to move out of the bloody country if I'm honest. Go to America, where my accent would sound normal (I have an American accent, I picked it up when I was a kid watching sesame street and it's the most common subject of the insults)
Yeah, but if I lived in America, I'd have the excuse of actually being forein. (I'm from wales by the way)
Oh, and yers, I do stand up to them, I've got scars to prove it, it does me no good, they all think I'm nuts now to go along with it*. When I said about them calling me stupid, I meant my parents and teachers, I need my parents permission to move schools and I can do without my teachers being against me too.
*They're probably right, I saw a speciallist who said I had rage issues and I was holding back so he wouldn't make me have sesions with him or anything like that.
KMC Community Forums
May 2nd, 2004 07:18 PM
maybe
