Movies are not mere entertainment. They are immensely informative and enlightening. Creativity indeed goes a long way in bringing about the willing suspension of disbelief. Here we are talking about our lessons from Hollywood in general but what are time zones in the world of fantastic cinema. Nothing I say. We have learned that -
1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people whether they are employed or not.
2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut.
You will always choose the right one.
4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override communications system of any invading alien society.
5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
8. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
9. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
10. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
11. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
12. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off even while scuba diving.
13. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
14. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.
15. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
16. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will whine when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
17. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
18. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
19. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
20. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
__________________________________________________
_______
More on demonicious.postonfire.com
Gender: Male Location: In Luna's mane, chasing STAAARS!
If there is one thing I learned from Hollywood, it's that they will never make even a decent game based movie. Bunch of greedy jackasses don't even slightly care for the fans of those games.
21. You can be arrested for not talking to the police.
22. Torture works.
23. Defibrillators can restart your heart after it stops.
24. CPR works almost all the time and the person is almost 100% right afterward with no broken ribs or illness or disorientation.
25. Sucking out the poison from a venomous bite is a good idea.
26. A bullet wound to an extremity is nothing serious and can simply be tightly bandaged.
27. Treatment of a gunshot wound should always involve removal of the bullet.
28. Turnecates should be applied to heavy bleeding wounds.
29. All gay people, black people, asian people, jewish people, arabs, and foreigners conform to certain stereotypes.
30. All hot, tomboyish women are completely perfect, mature, self-aware, and never selfish, especially if they have deeper voices.
31. Leading people on in order to have casual sex and conducting yourself with no regards to the feelings of anyone is hip, manly, and an appropriate expression of female empowerment.
32. The human skull is harder than several inches of brick or concrete.
__________________ Land of the free, home of the brave...
Do you think we will ever be saved?
In this land of dreams find myself sober...
Wonder when will it'll all be over...
Living in a void when the void grows colder...
Wonder when it'll all be over?
Will you be laughing when it's over?
1. Bad guys can't shoot straight.
2. A woman can knock a man out with a punch, PLUS her hand won't hurt afterwards.
3. The heroine ("shero"?) will always wake up looking pretty and fresh with full make-up.
4. Run from a giant monster by running straight ahead of it, never off to the side.
5. Sound travels through space.
6. Primitive technology will inevitably defeat far more advanced technology (eg, ID4, Avatar), provided the low-tech combatants' cause is just.
7. Being knocked out means waking up later with no chance of concussion.
8. Cars driven by heroes in chase scenes have off-the-charts damage soak.
9. Women can run in heels just as well as a man in flats.
10. The Brother no longer inevitably gets killed.
__________________
Shinier than a speeding bullet.
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
Chained up and tied up hostages never piss or shit
__________________ Land of the free, home of the brave...
Do you think we will ever be saved?
In this land of dreams find myself sober...
Wonder when will it'll all be over...
Living in a void when the void grows colder...
Wonder when it'll all be over?
Will you be laughing when it's over?
1. Hispanics can play white upper class people, ghetto people and native americans....
2. if you want to make it in hollywood, you must change ur name and change latin names so as not to be typecast.
3. body builder action stars can run indefinitely without tiring and beat streamline crackheads and latin american drug dealers/runners....
4. every ghetto hood rat is mexican have an accent and shave their heads and are all covered with tattoos. it makes it easy to single them out as criminals
5. police/detective are able to close and solve all the majority of their cases... the one that they cant will come around a few decades later right before retirement and they will close it as well..
6. all teenagers are played by 20-30 yr old short actors who look young and attractive
7. no one in the movie can see obvious fore shadowing and obvious hint that the person they are speaking with is the bad guy..... with their double meaning sentences. they only figure it out in the last ten minutes of the movie.
8. any asian can play any asian nationality
9. police can manhandle and force their way into a suspects home.... black mail them continue to ask questions and forget to read their rights.
10. if the suspect arent home cops possess both chemistry and electronic knowledge to lift finger prints with gum and pocket knife to rewire million dollar security systems.
11. bad cop good cop always works and the criminal will divulge all information. simply by the cop accusing ppl without any evidence and hauling them to jail.
12. Cops can talk to underage kids without parents or lawyers and can lead the witness and criminal without any objection and can be upheld in a court of law.
Unless they just happen to be misunderstood and have a heart of gold.
Or they're Jay Hernandez.
__________________ Recently Produced and Distributed Young but High-Ranking Political Figure of Royal Ancestry within the Modern American Town Affectionately Referred To as Bel-Air.
Maybe in the 70s or before but now it's considered an "in" to keep hispanic sounding names.
You mean any main character can run indefinitely and if they are cops, they can beat down ANY drug dealer. Come off the retarded "omb! everyone hates Hispanics!"
The Mexican part is not true at all. In fact, it's "any hispanic looking bad-guy is Puerto Rican or Venazualan."
And, you'll be hard pressed to find any "gangsta" without tattoos.
Incorrect.
I have yet to see someone originally from China play someone with an accent that's supposed to be from Japan. On top of this, you'll never see a Russian play a Chinese person. You'll never see an Indian play a Thai, and so on.
Usually what you see is someone that is from chinese origins in some way (Hong Kong, Taiwan, China), they will play characters from any of those locations.
KMC Community Forums
Feb 5th, 2010 07:32 AM
