KMC Forums - short scene of Batman story

should explain where this is coming from....

i'm posting a scene from a story i wrote/am writing----don't get yer hopes up because i rarely finish writing stuff i start. i write just for fun. smile

anyway! i'm posting this scene to see what the average fanfic reader thinks of this style of writing. it's different, more of a book/novel style. this one is NOT to be added to---so pleez don't! thankee kindly! (though hopefully i will add to it at some point!)

background of this scene. Ralph Stockton is a cop in the GCPD. he's been worked into a nasty gang called Red Mace, been there for three years, working to take em down. Commish Gordon offered him the help of another "undercover", and Ralph said yes, but then ....well, the new undercover won't tell him his credentials, nuffin. in fact Ralph knows him only by the nickname "Black". long black hair, black leather jacket, dark eyes/eyelashes/brows, a few scars on his face (but none around the mouth....heh). he's got a heck of an attitude, but he's good, but they don't get along splendidly, and then last night they got into trouble, then serious trouble, and then all hell broke loose and Black....er, needed to use That Car to get them out of it, and Ralph finds out who he's working with (he didn't know before!). this scene takes place the following night. (i *think* that's everything i need to explain....) (oh and ps, the scene isn't finished! that's why it breaks off at an odd point.......)

At about seven in the evening, Ralph crawled out of bed. He used the shower and one of the frozen meals, then went downstairs to a newspaper stand and got a copy of the Globe. He was just deliberating between going out and checking on the gang or staying local when there was a knock at his apartment door.

He had slid the two security chains off and nearly had his hand on the door knob when he realized he wasn�t thinking. He used the peephole and stopped. For a moment he thought of pretending he wasn�t in, then reached out and opened the door.

At first all he did was look at him, and debated whether or not he wanted to let him in. Black looked up and down the hallway self-consciously, then back at Ralph. He shrugged, hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. �Can I come in?� he tried.

Ralph sighed, looking at the floor, then reluctantly backed off from the door. Black followed him into the apartment, closing the door behind him. Ralph went back over to the kitchen counter, where he�d left the newspaper. He noticed Black had several sheets of folded-up paper in his hands that he withdrew from the inside pocket of his jacket. �What�s that?� Ralph asked in a short monotone, hardly looking at him.
�Surveillance.� Black looked at him, frowning. �You alright?�

Ralph shrugged. �Not feeling too good.�

�Do you have a fev��

�Naah.� Ralph waved it off. He nodded to the paper Black had. �What�s it?�

Black watched him for a moment, not certain, then apparently decided to take him at his word. �First feed from the bugs,� he said, unfolding the sheets and dropping them on the counter as Ralph approached. �I think there�s a few new names��

Ralph�s fist connected with a crack, and Black went down in a satisfying flurry of long, black hair. He fell against the one chair on his way down, and it slid off to the side and knocked against the wall of the apartment. Ralph stood over him, watching Black struggle to roll over on the floor and regain his balance, brushing hair out of his face.

�I�m feelin� a little better now,� Ralph announced clearly, rubbing his sore fist.

�What the h� Well, that�s good!� Black shot back, eyes hot in anger.

�Don�t be stupid and ask what was that for,� Ralph returned, deadpan. �You know damn well you owed me that little piece of information before you so much as showed your face in the drainpipe that first night. Is this your idea of a ****in� entertainment?� he demanded, flat tone turned to angry frustration now as Black got to his feet, rubbing his right jaw. �You start coughing up some answers right here and now,� he continued, a finger stabbing at the floor. �What are you in this for? What are you in this for?� he amended. �What�s your bag? The kicks of jerking me around? Maybe Ralph Stockton isn�t fast or flashy enough so here��

It was dizzying second or two before he realized Black had him pinned against a wall, all but bodily thrown there. A slow ache started in his upper back. His legs were pinned, there was a knee in his groin, and his arms were pinned, and some disturbingly familiar cold eyes were boring into his. �Now you listen to me,� came the low, buzzing growl from deep in the chest. �This isn�t a game. This is real. I never said you weren�t doing your job properly, never said you were moving slowly. I�m not here to jerk anyone�s chain. I offered this to Gordon, and he asked you if you wouldn�t mind a temporary assist. I�m not here to take over the operation. I needed to save our asses last night, and the fact that you found out �that little piece of information� is a regrettable but incidental consequence.� Black let him go abruptly, and Ralph almost flinched. �You may find this hard to wrap your head around, but I don�t harbor any disrespect towards the PD,� he added in a more earnest tone as he backed off. �That�s not what I am, and that�s not why I do this. I�m pretty sure I know which cops used to shoot at me, and I watch myself around the ones that are still in the force working night shift. You think I didn�t know which cops hate my guts,� he added when Ralph showed surprise. �Not that I care much, but when those men are armed and trigger happy, I have to know. I may wear armor half the time I�m on the streets, but that doesn�t mean I don�t get one hell of a welt when they hit me.�

Ralph slowly rubbed his arms where Black had pinned him. �You still could�a told me,� he repeated, much less heated now.

�Why, Ralph? Why?� Black all but pleaded. �What difference would that have made? You already said you see it as some almighty juggernaut come to fix poor, stumbling Ralph Stockton�that�s not what�s going on here,� Black added quickly, intense, cutting the other man off when he would have turned to walk off. �That�s not why I�m doing this. Dammit, Ralph . . .�

�You know why so many of the cops hate you? �Cause we�re out there battling like hell twenty-four by seven trying to make this a livable city for its citizens, and in comes the flashy car and the bulletproof body armor and look who sticks in people�s memories. �Batman saves city again�,� Ralph said bitterly, sketching an imaginary headline in the air. �The police get called pigs and Batman gets called a hero. What�s wrong with this picture?�

Somewhat to his surprise, he didn�t get thrown against a wall again. �I have no control over who writes the headlines for the papers, Ralph��

�Let me ask you this,� Ralph interrupted. �Why did you pick this operation? Why me? Why was it Red Mace and me? And why like this?� he added, gesturing to Black. �Get sick of the mask?�

This time it was Black walking off. He wandered over to the main room of the apartment and sat down against the wall. Ralph righted the chair and sat in it, facing Black. �Number one, the mask is just the most well known face I wear on the streets. Number two . . . I don�t like the fact that there�s a price tag on my head,� Black said frankly, resting his forearms against his knees. �It worries me. It�s pretty strong incentive for them to shoot at me.�

�Yeah, well, the police department is working on this issue because incidentally, the same gang that wants you dead is also the supplier of cocaine and crack to a large part of western Gotham,� Ralph returned patronizingly. �And you ain�t the only person they shoot at. They also shoot police. I presume you remember Leo McKindale.�

�Yes, I do,� Black recited with equally weary condescension. �Twenty-six year police veteran, shot and killed in the line of duty last April by a suspect, still on the loose, who is commonly thought to be a member of Red Mace. What�s your point, Ralph? Boost my ego? If you really want me to butt out, say it. Is that what you want?�

�What I want is for Batman to butt out�� Ralph said carefully, then stopped. �Look, I�m not saying you haven�t saved some lives,� he admitted.

�But so have the police,� Black obliged.

�But what I want is for the police to get credit for these operations,� Ralph said. �You know that the public opinion polls show confidence in the Gotham police is low, and yet crime is coming down? The last two years, we�ve dropped our crime rate more than any other city in the nation and the natives still think we�re inept. How is this?�

�I believe the court records and the police records will clearly state who did what,� Black returned flatly. �Nor am I stopping any reporter from interviewing any member of the PD to get the �real� story.�