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Are you pshyco?
Started by: silver_tears

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silver_tears
Senior Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

Are you pshyco?

"Hello, welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline."

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

Oct 12th, 2003 12:44 AM

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silver_tears
Senior Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

*presses 3,4,5,6* shifty

Oct 12th, 2003 12:45 AM

silver_tears
Senior Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

- You write to your mother in Germany every week, even though she sends you mail from Iowa asking why you never write.

- You're always having to apologize to your next door neighbor for setting fire to his lawn decorations.

- Nobody listens to you anymore, because they can't understand you through that scuba mask.

- You begin to stop and consider all of the blades of grass you've stepped on as a child, and worry that their ancestors are going to one day seek revenge.

- You have meaningful conversations with your toaster.

- You collect dead windowsill flies.

- Every time the phone rings, you shout, "Hey! An angel just got its wings!"

- You like cats. Especially with mayo.

- You cry at the end of every episode of Gilligan's Island, because they weren't rescued.

- You put tennis balls in the microwave to see if they'll hatch.

- Whenever you listen to the radio, the music sounds backwards.

- You have a predominant fear of fabric softener.

- You wake up each morning and find yourself sitting on your head in the middle of your front lawn.

- Your dentist asks you why each individual tooth has your name etched on it, and you tell him it's for security reasons.

- Melba toast sexually excites you.

- When the waiter asks for your order, you ask to go into another room to tell him, because "the napkins have ears."

- You tend to agree with everything your mother's dead uncle tells you.

- You call up random people and ask if you can borrow their dog, just for a few minutes.

- Your main goal in life is to become the president of Bulemia.

- Nearly everything you say involves the word, "P-toing!"

- You argue with yourself about which is better, to be eaten by a koala or to be loved by an infectious disease.

- You like to sit in cornfields for prolonged periods of time, and pretend that you're a stalk.

- You think that exploding wouldn't be so bad, once you got used to it.

- People offer you help, but you unfortunately interpret this as a violation of your rights as a boysenberry.

Oct 12th, 2003 12:48 AM

slayer
Horror Fan

Gender: Male
Location: Australia

if rabbit was still here she'd need 2 pay this place a visit.

__________________

Oct 12th, 2003 04:03 AM

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Pablo G
Coolest Beaner Around

Gender: Male
Location: Hermosillo, Mexico

__________________

"You can get further with a kind word and a gun, than just a kind word" - Al Capone

Oct 12th, 2003 04:49 AM

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BadKitty
cockeyed

Gender: Female
Location: in cha cha heels

8675309........oh thats jenny my bad

Oct 28th, 2003 03:59 PM

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must_kill_Santa
Evil Princess

Gender: Female
Location: United Kingdom

all of those refere to me

__________________

Oct 28th, 2003 04:03 PM

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mechmoggy
Northern Monkey

Gender: Male
Location: Changing nappies

*Shouts Mrs.MM*

Come and press 2 for me babe.

__________________

Oct 28th, 2003 05:54 PM

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cermiestar
kitten

Gender: Female
Location: London

*waits for little voice*

Oct 28th, 2003 05:57 PM

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Difrycheulyd
Your Highness,I'm so high

Gender: Female
Location: The Enchanted Forest

The voices are telling me to bone *cough* I mean burn things eek!

__________________

"Everyone plays the Hand they're dealt with, and Learns to walk through life, themselves not everything is handed on a plate, When people think your words are true, it doesn't matter what you do...I sold my soul to get here; how bout you?"