Once upon a time there has a young ROCK STAR named MAYNARD. He was RETARDEDLY MUMBLING in the HARDCORE forest when he met EMO MIKE EINZIGER, a run-away MOSHER from the METAL Queen CRISTINA SCABBIA.
MAYNARD could see that EMO MIKE EINZIGER was hungry so he reached into his GUITAR CASE and give him his POPPY ROCK PIE. EMO MIKE EINZIGER was thankful for MAYNARD's ROCK PIE, so he told MAYNARD a very PUNK story about Queen CRISTINA SCABBIA's daughter BRODY DALLE. How her mother, the METAL Queen CRISTINA SCABBIA, kept her locked away in a TOWER protected by a gigantic SERJ TANKIAN, because BRODY DALLE was so GRUNGE.
MAYNARD ROCKED. He vowed to EMO MIKE EINZIGER the MOSHER that he would save the GRUNGE BRODY DALLE. He would MOSH the SERJ TANKIAN, and take BRODY DALLE far away from her eveil mother, the METAL Queen CRISTINA SCABBIA, and ROCK OUT WITH her.
Then, all of the sudden, there was a GAY SLAYER and EMO MIKE EINZIGER the MOSHER began to laugh. With a puff of smoke he turned into the gigantic SERJ TANKIAN from his story. METAL Queen CRISTINA SCABBIA SLAM-DANCED out from behind a GIBSON FLYING-V and struck MAYNARD dead. In the far off TOWER you could hear a SLAYER SONG.
Once upon a time there has a young MODEL named BRAD WILK. He was STEALTHILY NOTHING in the PIMPLY forest when he met SEXY BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY, a run-away GOVERNMENT WORKER from the FUZZY Queen TAMMY FAY.
BRAD WILK could see that SEXY BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY was hungry so he reached into his COOKIE JAR and give him his BUMPY SALTINES. SEXY BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY was thankful for BRAD WILK's SALTINES, so he told BRAD WILK a very ENORMOUS story about Queen TAMMY FAY's daughter MICHAEL JACKSON. How her mother, the FUZZY Queen TAMMY FAY, kept her locked away in a HOUSE protected by a gigantic PIGGYP PIG PIG, because MICHAEL JACKSON was so UGLY.
BRAD WILK RAN. He vowed to SEXY BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY the GOVERNMENT WORKER that he would save the UGLY MICHAEL JACKSON. He would FLEE the PIGGYP PIG PIG, and take MICHAEL JACKSON far away from her eveil mother, the FUZZY Queen TAMMY FAY, and FALL her.
Then, all of the sudden, there was a SMELLY ROCK and SEXY BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY the GOVERNMENT WORKER began to laugh. With a puff of smoke he turned into the gigantic PIGGYP PIG PIG from his story. FUZZY Queen TAMMY FAY ROLLED out from behind a DILDO and struck BRAD WILK dead. In the far off HOUSE you could hear a RAAAAH.
__________________
"After coming into contact with a religious man
I always feel I must wash my hands."
-Friedrich Nietzsche
Once upon a time there has a young HOOKER named BRAD. He was QUEERILY NOTHING in the DUMB forest when he met HUGE PITT, a run-away TOLL BOOTH COLLECTOR from the GAY Queen ****.
BRAD could see that HUGE PITT was hungry so he reached into his PITCHER and give him his STINKY PB&J. HUGE PITT was thankful for BRAD's PB&J, so he told BRAD a very LUMPY story about Queen ****'s daughter MCGEE. How her mother, the GAY Queen ****, kept her locked away in a PARKING GARAGE protected by a gigantic HORSE, because MCGEE was so MORBIDLY OBESE.
BRAD SHARTED. He vowed to HUGE PITT the TOLL BOOTH COLLECTOR that he would save the MORBIDLY OBESE MCGEE. He would CRAPPING the HORSE, and take MCGEE far away from her eveil mother, the GAY Queen ****, and SMELLING her.
Then, all of the sudden, there was a OLD DEGENERATION and HUGE PITT the TOLL BOOTH COLLECTOR began to laugh. With a puff of smoke he turned into the gigantic HORSE from his story. GAY Queen **** SMACKED out from behind a KNIFE and struck BRAD dead. In the far off PARKING GARAGE you could hear a CLICK.
Once upon a time there has a young TRUCK DRIVER named ZACK. He was QUICKLY NOTHING in the QUICK forest when he met HOT NIVEK, a run-away DOCTOR from the SEXY Queen PAZ LENCHANTIN.
ZACK could see that HOT NIVEK was hungry so he reached into his JAR and give him his SILLY CHICKEN. HOT NIVEK was thankful for ZACK's CHICKEN, so he told ZACK a very RANDOM story about Queen PAZ LENCHANTIN's daughter RONNYKIN. How her mother, the SEXY Queen PAZ LENCHANTIN, kept her locked away in a SHACK protected by a gigantic BUNNY, because RONNYKIN was so JUMPY.
ZACK RAN. He vowed to HOT NIVEK the DOCTOR that he would save the JUMPY RONNYKIN. He would EAT the BUNNY, and take RONNYKIN far away from her eveil mother, the SEXY Queen PAZ LENCHANTIN, and FALL her.
Then, all of the sudden, there was a BORED TORNADO and HOT NIVEK the DOCTOR began to laugh. With a puff of smoke he turned into the gigantic BUNNY from his story. SEXY Queen PAZ LENCHANTIN FLEW out from behind a DOLL and struck ZACK dead. In the far off SHACK you could hear a PING.
Once upon a time in a land far (I DON’T CARE WHERE JUST FAR) away, in a dark and foreboding forest, there lived a strange, raven-haired hermit named TRENT REZNOR. He lived a solitary but happy life, making vinyls of him screaming about this and that out of tree bark.
One day, TRENT REZNOR was out walking amongst the trees, when all of a sudden he was lept upon by a fiendish bald troll type thing that tried to eat him. Luckily, the bald troll turned out to be BILLY CORGAN, so our hero overpowered the Pumpkin sissy and made him cry.
A few days later, TRENT was out walking in a meadow, when he absent-mindedly plucked a strand of the tall yellow grass. Sadly for TRENT, it turned out to be a strand of JESPER STROMBLAD’S hair, the evil Norse guitar god. TRENT begged for forgiveness, and when JESPER STROMBLAD refused, he bravely ran away.
One evening, down by the enchanted lake, TRENT REZNOR was having a meeting with his fellow forest weirdos, DARYL PALUMBO and GRADY AVENELL. They talked long into the night, discussing politics, sports and how badly they’d each been screwed over by various women. Without warning, a strange grey spirit which just so happened to be the ghost of LAYNE STALEY emerged from their campfire, moaning and groaning. All three weirdos ran for their lives, leaving LAYNE STALEY to float around, bumping into trees and muttering death threats to CHRIS CORNELL, for some reason.
Oh yeah, and TRENT REZNOR married FREE DOMINGUEZ and lived happily ever after with their two children ELIJAH BLUE and PAZ LENCHANTIN in a swamp somewhere.
KMC Community Forums
Darth Revan's magical lib of ROCK
Feb 6th, 2005 03:22 AM
Woot for brad wilk and dildos!
nice story
