Sometimes people are so shallow and pathetic when they reject you that when you actually think of their reasoning, you have to laugh at how ludacris life is and he/she is. I'm bitter cause I just got what I estimate to be rejection number 530 from a girl. so i thought I'd post my faves (and i really have experience in the field).
I'll start with two doosies:
1. Me: Hey, I think your nice, do you want to get some coffee sometime?
girl: Sorry, I don't date k**es (racial epithet against Jews)!!!
2. Me: Hey, so are we still on for dinner?
girl: Sorry, I just realized that this will only compound the self-esteem issues that I just can't deal with right now.
Me: hmmm, well, you rejecting me outright without even getting to know me has further complicated my own self-esteem issues. Now that we know we have that in common, you wanna get some dinner?
girl: ""click""
(she ended up dating, and being impregnated by one of the lamest football playing dickwads in the school)
now, let's share, i'll eventually post more.
__________________ Land of the free, home of the brave...
Do you think we will ever be saved?
In this land of dreams find myself sober...
Wonder when will it'll all be over...
Living in a void when the void grows colder...
Wonder when it'll all be over?
Will you be laughing when it's over?
oh, and yes, I do suffer from being a terminal smartass.
__________________ Land of the free, home of the brave...
Do you think we will ever be saved?
In this land of dreams find myself sober...
Wonder when will it'll all be over...
Living in a void when the void grows colder...
Wonder when it'll all be over?
Will you be laughing when it's over?
lol.. what made you even bother to pursue the conversation further?...
One time I did ask a girl from taekwondo if she wanted to walk home together (I mean we lived on the same block.. so I didnt think she'd assume I was trying to get with her), so we can just talk about random nonsense I guess.. so I was like
Me : "Hey, sung hee.."
Her : ...?
Me : "Wanna walk home together? we live on the same block so I figured I'd ask"
Her : "Oh, I have to go to my mom's store, so I cant"
Me : ah, ok.. cya then
I guess I came across as creepy.. but I still think she coulda told me flat out instead of acting like she had to go somewhere..that was lame
Girl:Hey, don't worry, it's my loss
Me: oh......Hey, wait a minute. That's the stupidest f*cking thing i've ever heard. First of all, it's my loss and second, if it's your loss, why the hell are you rejecting me. I guess this can't work out, stupidity is one of my biggest turnoffs.
__________________ Land of the free, home of the brave...
Do you think we will ever be saved?
In this land of dreams find myself sober...
Wonder when will it'll all be over...
Living in a void when the void grows colder...
Wonder when it'll all be over?
Will you be laughing when it's over?
Theres a phone number you can call and it says stuff like "This is not the number of the person you are trying to reach, he/she does not want to see you again because of (list random flaws here). If you are still listening, nothing could be worse then this. Well, laughing, thats worse HAHAHAHAAHAHA"
heh, seriously, they played it on the radio last night.
__________________
"After coming into contact with a religious man
I always feel I must wash my hands."
-Friedrich Nietzsche