All you people up there in City Hall,
You're ****in' it up for the people that's in the streets.
This is a song for the people in the streets,
Not the people City Hall.
All you mother****ers in the streets it's time to rise up,
Come along children and ****in' rise!
Lots of times when me and KG are watchin'
All the ****in' shit that goes down at City Hall,
We get the feeling we should **** shit up,
Yeah we should ****in' start a riot.
A Riot!
We have 'em screaming in the streets,
we have 'em tippin' over shit and breakin' ****in' windows of small businesses,
and settin' ****in' fires!
and settin' ****in' fires!
and settin' ****in' fires!
[spoken]
And then after the smoke is cleared,
and the rubble has been swept away,
me and KG will peek out our heads.
We've been watching the riots on a monitor twenty floors below sea level,
from a bunker.
We did it Rage-Kage, we beat the bastards of City Hall!
[laughs] But now what will we do?
We must rebuild. But who will lead us in the rebuilding process?
Man, it's got to be someone with the know-how
and the elbow grease to lead us to a new land.
No, not me and KG, we don't have the cognitive capacity to lead...
Alright, we'll do it!
[sung]
We'll lead as Two Kings,
We'll lead as Two Kings.
Ahhhaaa (Two Kings, we'll lead as Two Kings)
Ah-ha ah-how,
We'll lead as Two Kings.
[spoken]
The first decree is to legalize marijuana.
The tyranny and the bullshit's gone on too long.
You old ****in' shrivs who blocked it's legalization,
you're banished from the land!
[sung]
We'll lead as Two Kings,
We'll lead as Two Kings.
Ahhhaaa (Two Kings, we'll lead as Two Kings)
Ah-ha ah-how,
Lead as Two Kings.
[spoken]
The second decree: no more pollution, no more car exhaust,
or ocean dumpage. From now on, we will travel in tubes!
[sung]
We'll lead as Two Kings, oh, yeah,
We'll ****in' lead as Two Kings.
[spoken]
Get the scientists working on the tube technology, immediately.
(Tube technology.) Chop, chop, let's go.
[spoken]
Third decree: no more... rich people: and poor people.
From now on, we will all be the same... ummm, I dunno,
I gotta think about that...
[sung]
We'll lead as Two Kings
Ah yeah, ah yeahhhahahaha.
Ha-ha-ho-hee, ha-ha-ho-hee-ha-ha-ho-ho-ho-ho.
[spoken]
[JB:] Oh my God.
[KG:] Ahh... What?
[JB:] Dude, the red phone is flashing.
[KG:] Oh, yeah.
[JB:] Let me scoop that up. Hello? Two Kings.
[KG:] Who is it?
[JB:] What?! No! No ****ing way!
[KG:] What?
[JB:] Rage, there's a potato famine in Idaho, you gotta go down there!
[KG:] Oh my God... what?
[JB:] Dude, I gotta stay here!
[KG:] Why do I have to go?
[JB:] Please! Please!
[KG:] Oh, God, okay.
[JB:] Awesome... is he gone? Alright, emergency meeting of Parliament.
All right Parliament, I know this is ****ed up,
but Rage, he can't be King anymore.
Dudes, he's encroaching on my decrees!
Seriously, let's make him "Duke," a kick ass "Duke."
Or "leader formerly known as King," but-- uh-oh he's comin' back...
[sung]
We'll lead as Two Kings, oh yes
we'll really lead as Two Kings.
[spoken]
[KG:] Uh, dude?
[JB:] Rage.
[KG:] I went all over Idaho...
[JB:] Yeah?
[KG:] Uh, plenty of potatoes everywhere.
[JB:] What? There was no famine?
[KG:] Yeah, there was no famine, no.
[JB:] Dude.
[KG:] I don't know what's uh...
[JB:] A toast...
[KG:] A toast...
[JB:] Long live the "D."
[KG:] Long live the "D."
[clinking of glasses]
[JB:] Long live me. I'm sorry, I poisoned your wine.
[KG:] What?
[JB:] For the good of the land.
[KG:] You p-- I poisoned yours... huh heh, as well.
[JB/KG:] Noooooooooo!!!!!
No!
[sung]
City, city, city, city, city, city, shitty.
Shitty, city, shitty, shitty, city, city, shitty.
Hall, hall, hall, hall, hall, hall, hall, hall.
People inside me are askin' me to smoke up City Hall,
'Cause no one here is talkin'.
People inside me are askin' me to blow up City Hall,
'Cause no one here is rockin'.
People inside me are askin' me to blow up City Hall,
'Cause everyone is Rock-'em Sock-'em Robots.
Everyone is Rock-'em Sock-'em Robots.
Everyone is Rock-'em Sock-'em GO! OH!
[spoken]
[JB:] Don't, cut that part out.
[KG:] We've got it.
[JB:] Um, do you believe in God?
[KG:] I believe, I believe.
[JB:] You do?
[KG:] I believe in God. I believe in God.
[JB: (laughs)] Y'do--
[KG:] I believe in God.
[JB:] Do you?
[KG:] I believe in God.
Malibu Nights
[KG (spoken):]
Yeah, but you didn't ****in' come out with this (one)--! [cuts off on "one"]
[KG starts playing]
[JB (spoken):] I got some lyrics.
[sung]
Malibu nights, tangerine dreams,
Malibu neighs, Malibu dreams,
Malibu, makin' a poo.
Stinky poo, lookin'd view.
Because it's time for my breakfast,
It's time for some cheese.
It's time for the stink,
time for the breeze,
time for the... hah-or-eeee!
__________________ People who TICKLE me PINK! Kelly,Rj,Debbie,Scythe!<3
4 Da Shorteeeeeeeez!
(Doin' it 4 Da Shorteez)
4 Da Shorteeeeeeeez!
(Doin' it 4 Da Shorteez)
4 Da Shorteeeeeeeez!
(4 Da Shorteez)
4 Da Shorteez-
Gather 'round and let me tell ya somethin'.
4 Da Shorteez-
Can't you hear them little stomachs rumblin'?
4 Da Shorteez-
Yo, ya gonna eat that raggamuffin?
4 Da Shorteez-
Let's show the shorteez some lovin'.
C'mon, my name is Sir Loin, been at this for a while.
I got four stomachs for only one stomach and mouth.
That's a little empty belly with the vacancy sign.
Kinda like close encounters of the charity kind.
Ya got canned goods just collectin' dust.
Ya got meat, got fruit, got vegetables.
Only prerequisites that can set a bowl.
Get ya freak on at my freaky food festival.
Cold cuts a must, I'll even take bread crust.
Cuz the shorteez be beggin', some begga's don't give a ****
They's hungry, let's face facts, they starve.
Feel a void in your heart, fill ya shoppin' cart, 4 Da Shorteez.
4 Da Shorteeeeeeeez!
(4 Da Shorteez, y'all)
4 Da Shorteeeeeeeez!
(4 Da Shorteez)
Think at what's at stake, look upon your plate.
If it's a slab o' steak, time to regurgitate.
Ya got a double chin, their little jim's too slim.
Ya little fingers could fit in
The little kid's expose ribs.
Just think of all da shorteez, can't ya hear 'em cry?
Paula, cough up that burger and fries.
Hams on my left, double cans, Bob's got high.
Give to the hungry shorteez, so the shorteez won't die.
Stop the famine, please, instead of eatin' ham and cheese.
Throw away your greens, you be pissin' on a dream.
Gimme all your onion rings, it's a'ight, listen.
A slice a pizza, it don't matter if a bite's missin'.
Prime rib, porkchop, porterhouse, it don't stop.
My actin' like hogslop, to the shorteez it's alot.
They been hungry since birth, so hand over your desert.
Open up your mouth, stick a finger down, it could be worse.
Listen closely, gimme all your groceries.
Cuz a little baby's screamin' "Man, I need a hoagie!"
"Somebody hold me, somebody console me, somebody boil me up a pot o' pepperonis!"
Think of what we're facin', all those little faces, c'mon it's a race it's...4 Da Shorteez.
(Check it out)
Doin' it 4 Da Shorteez.
Doin' it 4 Da Shorteez.
Doin' it 4 Da Shorteez.
(Doin' it 4 Da Shorteez, y'all!)
4 Da Shorteeeeeeeez!
Got crackers, got chips, got puddin' cups.
You'd be surprised what little shorteez like to munch.
Could be trash, could be mold, could be excrement.
Could be a bag o' old diapers, they'd call that lunch.
Mayonaise been out for a couple o' days.
Milk and corpses, scabs and eggs.
Sweet bread, pig heads, horse heads, too.
Wanna drop it like it hot?
Here's what ya do.
But, please, no more candy yams, man.
We got more candy yams than we know what to do with.
MC Pee Pants in the h--I mean...uh, Sir Loin's in the house!
And I'm out!
It's a non-stop disco
Bet you it's Nabisco
Betcha didn't know, WOO HOO
Non-stop disco
Bet you it's Nabisco
Betcha didn't know, WOO HOO
Non-stop disco
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know
Non-stop disco
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know
It's a non-stop disco
Bet you it's Nabisco
Betcha didn't know, WOO HOO
Non-stop disco
Bet you it's Nabisco
Betcha didn't know,WOO HOO
Non-stop disco
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know
Non-stop disco
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know
It's a violent pornography,
Choking chicks and sodomy,
The kinda shit you get on your TV.
It's a violent pornography,
Choking chicks and sodomy,
The kinda shit you get on your TV,
It's a non-stop disco
Bet you it's Nabisco
Betcha didn't know, WOO HOO
Non-stop disco
Bet you it's Nabisco
Betcha didn't know, WOO HOO
Non-stop disco
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know
Non-stop disco
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know
Betcha didn't know
It's a violent pornography,
Choking chicks and sodomy,
The kinda shit you get on your TV,
It's a violent pornography,
Choking chicks and sodomy,
The kinda shit that's on your TV,
It's a violent pornography,
Choking chicks and sodomy,
The kinda shit that's on your TV,
It's on the TV
F*ck
Turn off your TV,
Can you say "brainwashing"
Oooh yeah!!!! Tenacious D kicks some major ass! Very funny lyrics.
"Double Team"
[spoken]
Damn, a hard day's rockin'. Better slip off ma shoes.
Maybe give a little stretch, and a bend.
Dip m'toe to jacuzzi, baby. Slip out this book:
The Buttress of Windsor. Ho ho ho, who's this? How's it goin'?
[sung]
That's the first thin' I say to you.
How's it goin'? Are you flowin'?
Listen honey,
Thinkin' 'bout a couple things to say to you,
Showin', growin',
Man I'd like to place my hand
upon your ****in' sexy ass and squeeze.
And squeeze!
Take off your blouse,
And your underpants,
Then take a look,
'Cause here me and KG come naked,
Out of the side-hatch,
With the oils and perfume and incense.
Now you're groovin',
Put on a cool '70s groove.
A funky groove to **** to.
A funky groove to **** to.
Me, me and KG,
It's all about sex supreme,
We likes to cream jeans. (sex)
Have you ever been worked on
By two guys who are hot for your snatch? (sex)
That's what I'm offerin' you.
You step into our room,
And then you smell the perfume,
You lay upon our roundish bed,
And then you feel a tickling on your head.
It's KG with the feather and the French tickler,
Look out baby he got the tools.
And then you feel sumpin' down by your feet.
It's me, it's JB, I'm suckin' upon your toes.
We don't mind sucking on toes!
Good luck finding a boyfriend who sucks toe, ow!
Havin' sex with me and KG,
Now you're talkin' double team supreme.
KMC Community Forums
Jun 18th, 2005 03:38 AM
EFIL4ZAGGIN
I love you, Korri.. at least you're taste in music. 
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