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Mr. Toad
Senior Member
 Gender: Male
Location: Beyond Daylight |
Pumpkin fu*ker
A article in the Washington Post titled: "Best Comeback Line Ever."
In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday.
Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need."
"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor.
"I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin."
Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.
"I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?'
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there and then looked me straight in the face and said,
"A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"
__________________
Waiting for the beginning.
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Feb 26th, 2009 07:39 AM |
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Rogue Jedi
Restricted
 Gender: Male
Location: On my way to the Cage Account Restricted |
__________________
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
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Feb 26th, 2009 08:00 AM |
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GCG
Red Bull
 Gender: Male
Location: |
Should have grabbed the pumpkin and drove home with it. I would'nt like to be the guy who eats that pumkin after its been poked and inseminated
__________________
Deferrals get you nowhere - Just Do It.........Or Ineptitude will consume your life like a Cancer
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Feb 26th, 2009 08:14 AM |
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REXXXX
Networking
 Gender: Male
Location: San Diego Moderator |
All I have to say is that it happened at 11:38pm. OMG STAR WARS REFERENCE.
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Feb 26th, 2009 09:40 AM |
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you get thorns
village idiot
 Gender: Unspecified
Location: on the bubble |
Dude uses grapes! 
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Feb 26th, 2009 01:43 PM |
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steverules_2
Senior Member
 Gender: Male
Location: The Tardis |
I guess all he needed was some TLC
__________________
I'm Bada's pimp
I created Raptor Bada, Donald, and Sparkles
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Feb 26th, 2009 03:47 PM |
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Smallville
Last Son of Krypton
 Gender: Male
Location: Metropolis |
[insert witty reference to Jason Biggs pie scene in American Pie]
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Feb 26th, 2009 04:05 PM |
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Bardock42
Junior Member
 Gender: Unspecified
Location: With Cinderella and the 9 Dwarves |
...Dracula, Georgia?
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Feb 26th, 2009 04:49 PM |
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Nivvy
Daily Spleen
 Gender: Female
Location: A hula hoop away |
He wishes it was midnight....
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Feb 27th, 2009 10:27 AM |
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Kostabot
I'm a rooster illusion
 Gender: Male
Location: Over yonder |
Who can resist a sexy pumpkin?
__________________
What is this I don't even
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Feb 27th, 2009 11:36 AM |
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jinXed by JaNx
Senior Member
 Gender: Male
Location: Pittsburgh |
I always wondered what else one could use a Pumpkin for aside from making Jakolanterns and pie.
now i know 
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"If you tell the truth, you never have to remember anything" -Twain
(sig by Scythe)
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Feb 27th, 2009 12:34 PM |
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