i remember being 16 and was drunk with my friend driving down the highway.. i was the passenger and my friend would pull near other ppl's cars and i would pull the car door open. at the time it was funny in hindsight probably one of the stupidest things some one can do. we probably did it to three cars that night aside from that while some of us were smoking we would try to flick a lit cigarette bud into open car windows just for laughs..
after that we kept getting drunk and i finally passed out a few hours later around 1 AM i woke up inside the car with fishing pools overhead.. i was like what the hell?!.. i looked out the window and saw a bonfire and lots of ppl singing and drinking also lots of young hot girls.. so i took a deep breath semi sobered up and went out to introduce myself with my devilish smile.
jello shots and beers were past around as we drank and made out with one another. some time in the night we were running out of fire wood and some of us had to find more wood. we heard one of the guys screaming and ran after him in the darkness, we could see our friend being chased by a small shadow behind him so we ran toward him and the animal at 1st it looked like a small dog or coyote but it turned out to be a mountain cat.. i guess the cat was trying to scare our friend away from its territory but as soon as it saw us it turned around and ran off we chased it into a tree. we laughed at our friend for being a p#@@y since he was at least four ft taller then the cat.
in hindsight i dont think height would have mattered but we were young.
so after that we went back to the camp area but got lost and walked into a quicksand type area where the water had receded.. one of our friends look like he fell into a sink hole and fell into his waist we had to pull him out with branches.. after that we all grabbed each others from the waist and belt loops and walked out in single line very slowly...
also while fishing i was happy that i caught something it struggled and was hard to pull out after 5 minutes of intense struggling i manage to reel it in and was surprised to find out it was just an old boot with muck... disappointed.
feel free to comment and talk about my life experiences, i dont mind.
you can also post your own life story.. think as this as everyone's collective diary/journal or just want to remember an old life experience.. by the way i will keep posting stories till i forget or die..
i grew up in Los Angeles for most of my early life in a bad ghetto neighborhood.
i remember once a 15 yr old kid told me he would kill me b/c i press play on the double dragon arcade game it had a free game in it, i was about 6.
the kid had said that it was his game but i didnt know he wasnt around and i was just hitting the controls being a little kid even thought i didnt know but, i knew how to play it.. games back then were very basic and easy to play.
the kid was in my face and was about to hit me but my mom was behind him and was like: what did you just say to him?
she asked him how he could say that and at his age hit some one who was far smaller then him. she then told him his parents oughta be a shamed of him for his behavior. she said if he ever came near me or did anything to me he would be the one that would be dead.
growing up in such a bad neighborhood i new the kid's name and his reputation. even at that age i knew who to take seriously and who not to the kid "Chucky" was one of those kids you took seriously.. so when we got home from the store i went up stairs to the second floor to my neighbor's apartment...
i knocked on the door and asked to see NoNo he was 16 yrs old and he was one of the few nice ppl in the neighborhood.. people didnt steal or screw with ppl in the neighborhood or apartment complex.
he was like my older brother and alot of us as small kids looked up to him even adults were polite to him and he was polite to the adults in a neighborhood where kids were always disrespectful.
he use to buy me and the other kids ice cream we all knew he did bad things but never to us and he was like our hero, he would make sure certain ppl didnt come into our apartment complex like crack heads, drug dealers, bums and even certain known thieves.. even the police knew who he was and always wanted to arrest him and find something on him but no one ever gave him up and we would have the police leave disappointed.
He went with me and took me to chucky's apartment and talked to his mom about the threat he made to me and how he was planning to do something to me and my mom,.. he told her with no apologies if he touched me or harmed anyone in my family that he and her family would be killed..
he never did anything after that to us although he was one of the worse ppl in the neighborhood, thief, drug dealer and a murderer.
i remember one day NoNo came running into our apartment complex nervous and some of the adults asked him what was wrong he said the police was after him... he ran to one of the women(i wont say her name) and handed the gun off and he ran into his house....
the police showed up seconds later and asked if anyone ran by everyone said no.... a few seconds later more police arrived and came knocking on NoNo's Door.. asking the parents if they could speak with him which of course they said no.. also the entire apartment complex were telling the cops to leave.
the cops in the day were more cowards then they are now especially in a predominately ghetto neighborhood where more then the majority hated cops and had guns.. they knew that a shoot out inside a apartment complex with the tenets would just result in their deaths and no one would rat each other out. the police werent exactly the nicest ppl back in the 80's.. so they left.. this is was common for me growing up sometimes they would arrest NoNo and a few days or hours later they let him go with no evidence or witnesses sometimes in court he would have ppl from the neighborhood claim he was with them and not involved in a shoot out or vigilantism like burning down crack houses..
hard to argue with mothers, fathers and kids saying he was at a cook out with the entire apartment complex. so they would let him go.
he later passed away. i still think about him. he was my older brother.. he died taking a bullet to the back protecting me and carrying me to house.. some random ghetto kids started shooting at us while we were playing kick ball at about 8 pm.. 1st time i saw some one die and some one i know
i still drink and think about him alongside my other friend Jeremy, two ppl who were taken b4 their time.
its like i stay up and talk to ghost when i drink.
i guess him dying and me being so small when it happen helped warped my view about life and death.
i dont know if it is normal not to forget traumatic moments or if we are ever suppose to move on.
i visited his grave one last time when i was 18yrs old... but i never stop thinking about him and wonder what he would have bn or could have bn if he had not passed away or given the chance to leave the neighborhood like i did. i wonder what he thinks about how my life turned out.
wow very powerful. well are you happy how your life is turning out to be? im sure your friends would only be happy if you're trying just trying to be what you want in life.
i was happy with how my life was but people were always disappointed with me my mother my relatives.. its like to them money and a career is more important then doing something you like or something that you feel comfortable doing.
like my mom said i did everything backwards..
i guess them being unhappy with me made me unhappy..
i will write this chapter if your interested and go into detail...
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
i remember when i was 21 or about to turn 22 yrs old, the world trade center had already happen about a yr earlier.
i didn't care when it happen. i told myself good, about time something tragic happen to white america not just to regular ppl.. i was angry at the upper class ppl for various reasons and i also figured it was the arabs, i paid attention to world news and knew a lot about what we americans did overseas and i figured it was a matter of time something like that would happen to us.
pretty much what i told my girlfriend at the time when she told me to turn on the news at about 9 0' am..
already at 21 i had already given up a high paying jobs in construction contracting working for my uncle and wearing suits. i didn't like working with ppl who felt it was okay to kick ppl out of their their homes and their lawyers telling them it is cheaper to just kick them out and go to court then to postpone construction dates.... laughing that the poor dumb@$$es didn't even know their rights or would bother going to court or know how to file... i would stand behind as they talked about it so casually so i quit. gave up my company driver, my loft in a closed off security building with doormen(Frasier style).
my uncle felt i betrayed him b/c he was also using me to get to my friends and rich parents.. my mom was also angry.
i then got a job with my friend in construction and they even paid for me to go to school and get certified in different fields of the business.
so i was working in underpinning and going to the university for a few hours a week and also did volunteer work teaching taekwondo.. busy schedule i know. once i was certified i was bumped up to 18 dollars an hour and depending on the job if it was state or under certain stips i would get paid more from 24 to 32 dollars hour..
i was happy with my life and how it had changed. i was always busy but i was happy and it was honest work where my money didn't come from cheating ppl.. but my mom and relatives would constantly harass me asking me if i planned to be a construction worker all my life and if this is what i wanted do with my life after all the struggling our family had gone through to get and live in this country.
so this was always rattling in my mind when i was working with kids, after work at the bar during work.. one day my cousin showed up and my family wanted me to hang out with him and introduce him to my friends... they were like: your cousin John is a hero he just got out of the marines he is going to college to be a lawyer etc etc.. i would zone out and roll my eyes... why cant you be more like your cousin john instead of working construction quitting college what after 3 months.. and then your uncles company...
so later that night i take him to a karaoke bar this is in Nevada so you can actually get private rooms and back area curtain off.. my friends were drinking, i introduced him to my female friends and the guys.. i was bitter and angry watching him have a good time while i swirled my finger on my Budweiser beer..
finally he sat down. i asked him what he did in the marines, how much money he made and how much money was in his bank account? etc etc i just wanted to blow the wind out his sails..
after that we laughed at him and told him he was just a robot working for the man for corporate creed an uncle tom. he didn't do anything and his 10 grand in his bank account was a joke and we can make that in a month if we wanted to. i pulled out 4 grand from my pocket and told him this is what i made in one week and a couple of hours at the tables. my friends and some of the girls started to laugh at his expense one or two of the girls were mad at me for being so blatant and disrespectful...
he looked at me he was trying to be polite but he knew we were ganging up on him at his expense... he said that someone like me could never make it as a marine that i would fail.. i looked at him and told him i am a real man, a marine has never seen someone like me. if you can make it, i know i can. if your the standard then i have nothing to worry about, i got a six pack i can run 5 miles easy in 35 minutes. i was a high school wrestler, construction worker and a Martial arts instructor....
after that i stared at him and got very serious and quiet, he looked me in the eyes and neither of us blinked.. then the two girls who were mad at me tried to get him to dance with them and leave the bar/club since they felt i was being a prick and they really liked him... i didnt care. they walked him toward the dance floor while i made a line of coke and snorted it and drank my beer.. my cousin turned and looked at me and left with the girls.. my friends were like your related to that putz, i was like yeah....
about a 7 months later i kept thinking about my family telling me why cant i be like John and him telling me i couldn't make.. so during the middle of work i finally said F#@$ it.. i made up my mind to join the marines out of anger and spite to prove i could make it and john not being anything special..
Quit being so goddamn sorry for yourself and instead of moping around this website like a ****ing groveling mongrel and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!! Do something or die, there's no in-between, ur living ur life dead simply by not being happy with it, get busy living or get busy dying.
There's people that have pulled themselves together and miraculously improved the quality of their lives from being stuck in a worse place than u ever were simply because they didnt want it anymore.
__________________ **** it! Shoulda said that a long time ago!
16 yrs old i was sitting in a bench watching a martial arts tournament trying to figure out the rating system...
parents and children all around me padding me on the shoulders excited all watching their children competing.. i smiled and was polite.
suddenly my master approached me and told me to get ready.. i looked at him and told him i wasnt sure what to do. i had bn persuaded to come to the tournament against my own will in order to be a good role model for the children at my Dojo and most importantly for my little brother who did everything i did. he looked up to me, i knew he would not come if i did not come.
i nervously got up not knowing anything about the rules nor wanting to embarrass myself or make the ppl that look up at me disappointed.
my name was called in and i walked into the demonstration circle and i bowed to the master and judges... i noticed that the masters and judges started whispering about me. my master was called up to the booth and were arguing. i sat down in the proper meditative position and simply observed them.
they finally called me up to the booth i could here everyone in the gymnasium whispering wondering what was wrong... one of the old masters who was obviously not american and lived under an old code of MA pointed at my belt and told me to take it off.. i was a bit angry since my belt was a special belt it was a black/red belt half and half..
he then asked me what made me think i could wear that belt that belt meant something and only a select group of ppl could wear it.. i told him i was a student/instructor he was mad. my master told him i was a black belt but that i was different among the other students since i was a professional student not just a regular student.. still i was ordered to take it off i did.. my master had gone to one of the sale booths and had bought a black belt for me to wear.
the parents and the students from my dojo were disappointed about my belt removal since they felt i had earned the right to wear it and only three ppl in my entire dojo could wear it.. it was a slap in the face or so they thought.
i was then asked which routine i would do and to perform it, i had not planned to come so i had not prepared a specific Taegeuk/ demonstration form.
i decided to do my favorite one the black belt 1st form...
i started slowly with open wing span then a clasp.. sudden tensing of the body.. then a sudden spring jump into the air with spinning kicks landing smoothly bending my knees in an awkward position but maintaining it without shaking each attack was followed by a strong yell.. i finished my Taegeuk a few minutes later in a frozen position slowly returning to my starting position.. controlling my labored breathing and not moving as a roll of sweated beaded from my forehead into my eyes until i was ordered to move and dismissed.. ppl clapped at my performance the master judges bowed at me and gave me my command to leave, i bowed and jogged off the demonstration circle.
parents and student came running at me the children jumping up and down calling my name: Mr. Castle you did great!! one of them was my brother he tugged my pants looked at me and said i did great and gave me a hug he was 9 yrs old at the time.. i smiled and looked at his belt he had bn given a black belt so he wouldnt be asked to take his off like i was.. the children's parents had bought him one... my brother tugged it and said he didnt mind he knows he is one of the best.. then.. i smiled and i messed his hair...it was his turn to perform in the childrens bracket..
now all that was left was to watch my brother perform and and wait for the sparring/fighting portion..
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
KMC Community Forums
May 30th, 2010 05:06 AM
Thank you, Pittman! ^_^
