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The 9 Most Badass Bible Verses
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Surtur
Astral Shaman

Gender: Male
Location: Chicago

The 9 Most Badass Bible Verses

I figured this might interest some people, I mentioned one part of it in another thread. It's from when Cracked used to be good:

The 9 Most Badass Bible Verses

My favorite so far is Judges 15:15-16:

"Finding a fresh jawbone of a donkey, he grabbed it and struck down a thousand men.

16 Then Samson said,

“With a donkey’s jawbone
I have made donkeys of them.[a]
With a donkey’s jawbone
I have killed a thousand men.”


Owned.


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Chicken Boo, what's the matter with you? You don't act like the other chickens do. You wear a disguise to look like human guys, but you're not a man you're a Chicken Boo.

Old Post Sep 13th, 2017 05:52 PM
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Patient_Leech
Papa II

Gender: Male
Location: Satan's bowels

Well, I can't get to the Cracked website at work, so don't know when I'll get around to seeing this. But yeah, it's been a while since I've been to that site. It used to have some amusing shit.


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Old Post Sep 14th, 2017 11:56 AM
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Surtur
Astral Shaman

Gender: Male
Location: Chicago

There is also this crazy ass cartoon featuring Samson and it really doesn't f*ck around lol. As in, dude murders a whole boatload of people, sometimes for the smallest slight.



You can see in this clip some people make a wager with Samson and they cheat and win. Samson is pissed but says he will honor their deal and give them what they won(clothes). He goes out and murders 30 random people for their clothes lol. This is a movie for kids.


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Chicken Boo, what's the matter with you? You don't act like the other chickens do. You wear a disguise to look like human guys, but you're not a man you're a Chicken Boo.

Old Post Sep 14th, 2017 05:42 PM
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NewGuy01
perpetual

Gender: Male
Location: USA

Lmao wtf is with this super cheery music? Yay for mass murder!?

*Dun dun dun dun dana da!*

"When they killed Shara I avenged her death, killing more than a thousand Philistiiiiines! She may have deceived me but nobody kills the woman I intend to be miiiiine!"

*Dun dun dun dun dana da!*


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Old Post Sep 17th, 2017 06:46 PM
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Adam_PoE
Prince of Eternia

Gender: Male
Location: Royal Palace

"Yet she multiplied her whoring, remembering the days of her youth when she played the whore in the land of Egypt. She lusted after her lovers whose penises are like the penises of donkeys, and whose ejaculations are like the ejeculations of horses. Thus she longed for the lewdness of her youth when the Egyptians handled her breasts, because of the breasts of her youth."

—Ezekiel 23:19–21


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Old Post Sep 17th, 2017 07:57 PM
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Afro Cheese
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23 Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up by the way, young lads came out from the city and mocked him and said to him, “Go up, you baldhead; go up, you baldhead!” 24 When he looked behind him and saw them, he cursed them in the name of the LORD. Then two female bears came out of the woods and tore up forty-two lads of their number. 25 And he went from there to Mount Carmel, and from there he returned to Samaria.

I feel like there is actually some poetic justice to this story. The young laughing at the aged, unaware or failing to reflect on their own inevitable demise. And then bam, out of nowhere nature comes crashing down on them in their moment of folly.

Old Post Sep 17th, 2017 08:34 PM
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YousufKhan1212
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: Northern England.

I'm glad I'm only following Jesus's example and not practising any other Biblical passages.

Old Post Sep 17th, 2017 09:14 PM
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