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BackFire
Blood. It's nature's lube
 Gender: Male
Location: Huntington Beach, CA Moderator |
new deal with my gf
well as you all know, i thought we were broken up and stuff, and i thought tha ti would be able to be just friends with her, sadly, i was wrong, i still love her and when i talk to her and see her i still feel those feelings, and she says she still does too, and she still loves me too, but she also wants to be with this other guy and have sex with him and stuff, which i dont think i could handle. so i told her today that if she has sex with him, she looses me completely and i will not talk to her anymore because she will have hurt me to much and i wont be able to see her without feeling sick and sad. and she was trying to make it seem like im doing something wrong with this, like she expects me to let her go screw whoever she wants without any consequences. im just wondering if you guys think i did the right thing or not by giving her this choice. i dont think what im doing is wrong, why should she get to just do whatever she wants, i think im giving her a very easy practical and fair choice. sex with him, or having me in her life somehow. what do you guys think?
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Jan 1st, 2003 04:37 AM |
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Dexx
wingless
Gender: Male
Location: Bucharest, Romania |
something like that...nah, it's not wrong! i still can't picture her asking you this stuff
"oh, pleaze...pleaze...just that guy over there! he's the last one. And then we'll go to your mom's house for dinner"
i can't quite picture this
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Jan 1st, 2003 04:56 AM |
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finti
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
you do what you feel is best for YOU BF
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Jan 1st, 2003 10:22 AM |
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BackFire
Blood. It's nature's lube
Gender: Male
Location: Huntington Beach, CA Moderator |
i honestly dont care either way, she can stay with me and be faithful, or she can screw that guy and lose me. its up to her now. ill be fine either way.
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Jan 1st, 2003 10:25 AM |
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Ushgarak
Paladin
 Gender: Male
Location: Chelmsford, Essex, UK Co-Admin |
So long as you made your view clear.
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"We've got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into Jawa burgers and not one of you buds has the midi-chlorians to stop her!"
"You've never had any TINY bit of sex, have you?"
BtVS
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Jan 1st, 2003 10:43 AM |
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BackFire
Blood. It's nature's lube
Gender: Male
Location: Huntington Beach, CA Moderator |
very clear.
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Jan 1st, 2003 10:45 AM |
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Dexx
wingless
Gender: Male
Location: Bucharest, Romania |
are you THAT certain?
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Jan 1st, 2003 10:54 AM |
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Dim
Creativity
 Gender: Unspecified
Location: Southern California |
I think that's the best thing you could have told her... She can't have it both ways and just expect you to deal.
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Jan 1st, 2003 11:24 AM |
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finti
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
well she could, but............
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Jan 1st, 2003 11:46 AM |
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Catch 22
Disinterested
 Gender: Unspecified
Location: In my Happy Place |
Any girl that wants that isn't worth the bother. IMHO
And if your feelings are as messed up as you say then I can't see how you could possibly have a 'Just Friends' relationship if your heart yearns for so much more.
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Catch 22!
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Jan 1st, 2003 12:47 PM |
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ms_saigon
Member
 Gender: Unspecified
Location: Southern California |
Sorry to butt in here, but I know exactly where you're coming from. My bf did the same thing a couple of years ago, notice I didn't say ex? Let's just say he didn't like it when the tables were reversed. Just go with your gut. I feel your pain man, I'd say something horrible about her, but I'm sure she's a nice person or you wouldn't love her to start with, right?
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Jan 1st, 2003 06:57 PM |
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Tex
Yumsz
 Gender: Unspecified
Location: Tampa, FL, USA |
Your gf sounds like she has you wraped around her little finger!
You need to lay down the law!
And if she cant accept that, send her packing!
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Jan 1st, 2003 07:16 PM |
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Ushgarak
Paladin
Gender: Male
Location: Chelmsford, Essex, UK Co-Admin |
Hang on, hang on, I think there is a lot of judgmentalism going on here. All we have is that this girl has fallen in love with someone else but still has feelings for Backfire. Which has happened to her and some 3/4s of the world at some point, I think.
She's not after a relationship with both of them, from what I read here, only the new guy. She wants to stay friends with Backfire. Now, if Backfire does not think he can bear staying friends with this girl if she is sleeping with someone else then that is totally understandable but I do not think she deserves the criticism she is getting here!
If Backfire can confirm that she is actually wanting a full secxual relationship with both men then I agree with the sentiments expressed above. Other than that it seems to be rather an assumption that has been made there.
__________________
"We've got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into Jawa burgers and not one of you buds has the midi-chlorians to stop her!"
"You've never had any TINY bit of sex, have you?"
BtVS
Last edited by Ushgarak on Jan 1st, 2003 at 07:54 PM
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Jan 1st, 2003 07:50 PM |
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BackFire
Blood. It's nature's lube
Gender: Male
Location: Huntington Beach, CA Moderator |
yes she wants sexual relationships with both of us. she says she knows she'd be happiest with me, but she is really into this guy right now and wants to try stuff out with him. i told her that it isnt that cut and dry and that she has to choose, cuz im not going to take her bullshit anymore, excuse my language. lets see what happens, cuz i dont care anymore, its in her court now and i did that for a reason, that she'll have to live with whatever happens knowing that it was her choice, and no one elses.
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Jan 1st, 2003 08:39 PM |
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Ushgarak
Paladin
Gender: Male
Location: Chelmsford, Essex, UK Co-Admin |
Okidokey, then, yes, she has to make her choice.
__________________
"We've got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into Jawa burgers and not one of you buds has the midi-chlorians to stop her!"
"You've never had any TINY bit of sex, have you?"
BtVS
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Jan 1st, 2003 08:42 PM |
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BackFire
Blood. It's nature's lube
Gender: Male
Location: Huntington Beach, CA Moderator |
yeah, and the thing that really twisted my nossle is that she was trying to make me seem like a bad guy for making her choose, she said that im taking her freedom away by forcing her to stay with me.
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Jan 1st, 2003 08:46 PM |
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Ushgarak
Paladin
Gender: Male
Location: Chelmsford, Essex, UK Co-Admin |
Some people prefer a more casual relationship, especially at earlier times in their life. Some people want a more committed thing. Just the way it works, I am afraid. If she is not ready for a one-man committment then you are best out of it, I think.
__________________
"We've got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into Jawa burgers and not one of you buds has the midi-chlorians to stop her!"
"You've never had any TINY bit of sex, have you?"
BtVS
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Jan 1st, 2003 08:59 PM |
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BackFire
Blood. It's nature's lube
Gender: Male
Location: Huntington Beach, CA Moderator |
yeah, that why im giving her the choice, to let her get what she wants.
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Jan 1st, 2003 09:02 PM |
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Catch 22
Disinterested
Gender: Unspecified
Location: In my Happy Place |
So she has her new boy friend, but she's like "Hey, we can still be friends and have sex when you're around..."
Sorry man, you need to get out of there, get yourself some alone time and work her out of your system. You might feel like crap about it right now, but in then end if you don't then YOU will be the one who gets hurt. Move on, and let her ship out. She's treating you like dirt and you seem willing to let her.
I betting that you figure you're doing to right thing by giving her the choice, but all you're really doing is letting her take advantage of you. You seem to have that decent edge to you, why not get out there and find someone who will appreciate it?
I know this is probably NOT what you want to hear, but you're doing yourself no favours right now.
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Catch 22!
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Jan 1st, 2003 11:23 PM |
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