Alright guys, I'm not trolling I'm not spouting a bunch of Bs, I'm going to talk about some real shit, because I cant do It on anyother social networking website.
To start out with I'm depressed, but its not major, Its just dealing with stupid shit in life. I have kinda had this connection with this girl I've known for about a year now. And I used to like her but it was in a friend way. Before I really get into all that I want to say, the things I want right now are a real relationship, no **** buddies, or FWB. I want a genuine relationship. This girl is real to me, she's not fake, and she's not a typical teenage crush, its like I can reason with her. Tonight, she went to the hospital to take one of her friends to the ER, because he had a kidney stone. And the hospital is right down the street from where I live. Me, not having a cigarette in over 4 days kinda needed a smoke and I wanted to see how she was doing, and what was going on. So, I walked there and sat with her outside for over 2 hours and talked some real talk, just about life and past relationships, just things I typically wouldn't just blurt out to anyone.
After talking for about an hour I realized, wow I want the same thing this girl does, we share a lot of the same problems and past experiences. I realized if I were ever to actually be Involed with somebody it would be with someone like her. I've only experianced this with one other person In my life, and she's still my best friend to this day and I love her like I've know her for longer years than Ive been alive.
The only thing holding me back from actually being involved with this girl Is she will be 19 in two days and Ill be 17 in two months. I feel like It doesnt matter, only because I'm much more mature for my age then most.
I don't even think she realized there Is an age gap. Because I talk on a more mature level than most kids my age. Its just in society it could look bad. And I would typically come out and say, I feel like I have a connection with you. Would you like to be more involved as in talking more or being more of a couple than a friend.
A major problem my life Is I fall too hard into the "friend zone" and even when I like someone, I can never get to the next step.
I want to be able to be real with her. And tell her how I feel about her. But I dont want to scare her.
And Im afraid she doesn't or won't feel the same about me.
I also have a problem with rejection. I'm really bad with It and Im scared when It comes to It.
It's just for once In my life. I want something to be real that I can depend on. And we talked, and its something we both want.
I said all this on here because I don't know what else to do, or who to talk to, and I can post It on something like Facebook, or Twitter because I'm friends with her on things like that. So I turn to you all, because I got nothing else. And I know you all to be real people and people who actually care.
It's 3 in the morning and its all I can do because I can't sleep. So thats its.
And If anything Is good Is going to come out of this thread hopefully I can make it where people can talk about real things. Like this situation.
Gender: Unspecified Location: Your mom's basement.
i can tell you, from personal experience, the longer you keep it in that you feel this way and the longer you refuse to tell her, the worse you'll feel
at least that's what happened to me
i kept my feelings locked away for months and for most of that time i denied they existed, but then when i realized it was true, i got scared as shit, and kept it to myself even longer. and i just felt shittier and shittier. sure, i still don't feel 100%, cause im stupid enough to feel guilty about my feelings, but letting the cat out of the bag really, truly helped things
Yeah, I know, I've done that before to the only other person Ive felt that way too. And I didn't tell her until it was too late. I still regret it to this day, but not doing it made us closer and better friends.
Lil' dude, just tell her. That's the best way to deal with it. Get used to rejection because you're only 17. It will happen a lot until you settle down with someone for life.
It may actually alleviate one-sided tension in the relationship on your end. You may think you're relaxed around her, but there's always that shit that's always in the back of your mind.
You can always state, if rejected, that you are willing to not let things get weird.
Also, 17 to 19 is no big deal. That's legal in all 50 states.
Dom, I love you. When I saw you online I was happy to see I was going to get some real feedback.
I know I have to tell her, I know I should get used to rejection. I'm just a sensitive guy, not to mention, I pull the "what if" shit off way too much.
I also know its legal. It's just different. Something that I'm not used to.
Hopefully we get together again. I talked to her on Twitter, and she said she really enjoyed having conversations like that. And she would like to do that more often.
Also Dom, real personal question here, you can pm me the answer if you like. But, when you met your wife, how did you know she was the one you wanted to marry, and have kids with, and all that jazz.
You remind me too much of me, and your problem is all too familiar. I can't say I have advice for you. Indeed the route of my salvation lies fresh on my mind. But I have found that, through it all, my suffering and pains (the little accomplishments of freedom along the way) I had to ultimately focus on me.
Don't forget that these emotions that drive you ultimately paint the portrait of the goal you desire. Do not let your emotions mislead you; do not be ruled by your reasoning either. Within you lies a genuine balance between these nights of complete fathomless loneliness and the knowledge of freedom from it.
Relax, breathe easy, tomorrow is another day. Ride out these emotions. When they subside, tackle this dilemma anew. Trust me, never once did I ever find a solution to my "dark nights of the soul" in my pits of despair. The morning brings comfort and solace; with it always my solutions.
You remind me too much of me, and your problem is all too familiar. I can't say I have advice for you. Indeed the route of my salvation lies fresh on my mind. But I have found that, through it all, my suffering and pains (the little accomplishments of freedom along the way) I had to ultimately focus on me.
Don't forget that these emotions that drive you ultimately paint the portrait of the goal you desire. Do not let your emotions mislead you; do not be ruled by your reasoning either. Within you lies a genuine balance between these nights of complete fathomless loneliness and the knowledge of freedom from it.
Relax, breathe easy, tomorrow is another day. Ride out these emotions. When they subside, tackle this dilemma anew. Trust me, never once did I ever find a solution to my "dark nights of the soul" in my pits of despair. The morning brings comfort and solace; with it always my solutions.
when you get her, it's going to be an entirely different story
I think you know what to do. Just make sure not to ruin it by getting weird if she rejects you. It's hard to do...and even full grown adults screw that up (smart ones that are mature). Just be careful but also don't beat around the bush. It sounds like she at least likes you a little bit.
Also, I consider you a friend. I want to see you succeed in your life and to find that special someone. It's a beautiful thing.
Well, I don't mind sharing.
I was driving home one night after working. I got this weird feeling that someone was thinking about me (never have I gotten that feeling before or since). I didn't know who or why.
Then it popped into my head that Emily, who I had been dating at the time, was thinking about me. I called her and asked her outright, "Hey, I got this weird feeling someone is thinking about me: is that you?" She softly laughed and then quietly said, "yes."
From there, it was easy.
__________________
Last edited by dadudemon on Aug 3rd, 2011 at 08:27 AM
Sir, I have no idea who you are.
But I have got to say, you are a lot like me.
Those same words, and realizations I've come to bear with problems of my past, and sadly I look back at it and now realize. It's the same dilemma as before, just with a different person.
My mother used to say the same thing almost although she would say,
"Some people are lions, brave and courageous, but go to bed knowing its the same thing as yesterday and it might get worse. I am a Chicken, simple and knowing, but wake up every morning with a new day full of possibilities, and new experiences. Those are the two types of people in life."
I used to think of that quote all the time. I kinda lost touch with It until you said that.
Thank you, Thank you very much.
I'm sowwie.
Is it weird that as I finished typing that it started raining where I live?
Yes, I know what I have to do. And I'm not good at beating around the bush, I typically say things like this way to straight up.
Thank you very much, all of you.
I think I just needed some positive encouragement.
I'm a long lost KMCer who's finally found his way home.
I know, that's why I'm sharing what I know.
Shadows are darkness in different forms. Darkness does not drive out the dark. Only the light can do that.
Your mother sounds like a very wise woman and coincidentally reminds me of my mother.
Don't thank me, thank those seemingly endless nights of pitiful despair I endured. Without having been broken so horribly, I wouldn't know what it's like to feel the joy of wholeness; more so my understanding's a little better than before. So for the time being, I spend most of my time listening; everyone I've encountered needed more to be listened to than to be advised.
I don't really have words to say.
I completely understand.
That is all.
And she is when she wants to be.
Just dont try to get something like that out of her before she has had a cup of coffee because, more than likely you will get random gibberish.
Just take it easy on the depression, seems like it's gone down, but what I'm worried about is that if you ask her to get involved and she says no, depression will cause her to not seek your company. Ya know? May make being good friends afterwards seem abit odd. Though I don't think that should be an issue because from all the time knowing you, you know when to take a positive stance.
KMC Community Forums
Aug 3rd, 2011 07:12 AM
when you get her, it's going to be an entirely different story
