I got a rough draft of a poem due tommarow! Could you give some helpfull advise to wat ive got?
My Poem...
How far did I take this, how long will it go
It started with me being so shalow.
If I would have stopped, and didnt go so far
Are deception with each other woundt be as black as tar.
But i didnt stop, I went to far,
And now i'm left with this one scar.
That cant be erased, and wont disapear
so now I'm left with the fear.
___
yeah it sucks, thats why I would like some truthfull advise
Please Help
__________________ There is no emotion, There is peace.
There is no ignorance, There is knowledge.
There is no passion, There is serenity.
There is no death, There is the Force.
no i changed the whole thing i really didnt like it, so i made a new poem
__________________ There is no emotion, There is peace.
There is no ignorance, There is knowledge.
There is no passion, There is serenity.
There is no death, There is the Force.
mud, cool it. usually i don't let first impressions get to me, but so far, i have to say honestly i don't like you. your making crude comments that are really unecessary.
good luck with your poem, and post the newer one up so we can read
I'm deep in this thought
that wat ive lost cant be bought
im trying too get out
but im ingulfed in this anger, and i dont kno wat its about
I feel so betrayed
But im also afraid
So many thoughts are passing through my mind
bum im running out of time
im stuck in this possition
and ive gota make a decission
___
any helpfull hints
__________________ There is no emotion, There is peace.
There is no ignorance, There is knowledge.
There is no passion, There is serenity.
There is no death, There is the Force.
And i gota make a title for it, im thinking "ruminations"
__________________ There is no emotion, There is peace.
There is no ignorance, There is knowledge.
There is no passion, There is serenity.
There is no death, There is the Force.
thanks but while i was watching the ISU game i wrote something else and i cant think of a title and i cant tell which is better.. ur opinions plz..
With all of this deception
We should have learned a lesson
But all we do is shun
From the past, we say the future has begun
Now we must regret
All this fear that we repent
__________________ There is no emotion, There is peace.
There is no ignorance, There is knowledge.
There is no passion, There is serenity.
There is no death, There is the Force.
KMC Community Forums
Feb 9th, 2006 12:43 AM
But its great!
