Okay, my mother has given me her theory on why all of my relationships fail. She is trying to convince me that a man wants a woman who depends on him...to be the submissive half basically. In my ears all im hearing is that a man wants a needy woman. Is this true? Now im not the Super Woman type who wants to do everything by herself but, the way i see it if i can do it myself than i dont you need you to do it for me. For example i dont like when my boyfriends open the door for me...car house or any of the above. It just makes me feel uncomfortable..and when i tell her this she says its because "i feel like im not worth it"....what do you think?
__________________ "So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life."
thats crap. we just want someone who is loyal and who loves us as we love them. independence can be had in a committed relationship, but some women and men have no sense of loyalty.
__________________
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
Your mother needs to pull her head out of the 1950's @sshole. Some men do want that, not all. You're also 18, how many ralationships last when you're that age? Not many.
If a woman is clingy and needy, I generally spend as little time around her as possible. Take that for what it's worth.
__________________ In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the Anti-American sentiment and negativity, we should remember England 's Prime Minister Tony Blair's words during an interview. When asked by one of his Parliament members why he believes so much in America , he said:
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in... And how many want out."
Well every relationship is different. It is an older way of thinking that still does work in relationships today if both parties are into it. Sometimes a man wants a women to be dependent because he likes control or needs to feel superior. It could also be an inferiority factor. Other times it just works out to be great. I think most men today, and this is only my opinion, like women that are self sufficient, but loves to wait on their man. Nothing wrong with that, as long as the man also loves to adore his woman. Keeping it exciting, spontaneous, and adventurous can go a long long way, if both are open to it...
I do have to say that I like it when doors are opened for me, I'm not a woman's liber, but I seem to always be in such a hurry saying oh, lets go here and lets go there, that I end up opening the doors myself. I'm kind of a spontaneous person.
BTW, this is not an advertisement.......Well unless you have money...and give back rubs...
Last edited by debbiejo on Jul 23rd, 2007 at 02:15 AM
I'm thinking the fail rate of your relationships has more to do with your age than it does some supposed "need" that every single guy in existance may or may not have.
i actually like it when my bf's depend on me. It makes me feel..."important" i guess for lack of a better termanology. Like i have the upper hand or something.
Like for example when we go out to eat or something i always offer to pay first....and i think thats how it should be. my bf shouldnt always have to pay when we go to eat or just go out. Is he the ONLY one eating or enjoying himself...no...so y shouldnt i pay every now and again. I just dont like that "becuz im a lady" crutch. If i give a little and he gives a little it'll go a far way....but my theory leaves me bf-less at the moment
__________________ "So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life."
I like to cater to and adore my wife. I try to open the doors and the like for her. Thankfully, my wife does not have to work if she doesn't want to and I think that is the way it should be in a modern America.
Here is a word of caution: The type of man you want may not treat you right. A nice "young man" will take care of all of that without you even offering. You should expect a man to open the door and do kind things like that. On the same token, be aware of a man who seems too nice because he may just want the nasty.
No matter how socially modern this world gets...men have no choice but to owe women a certain revere or respect because we will never carry, bare, and nurse children.
[/B][/QUOTE] there is a reason why women tend to date older men, thats because they know how to treat a woman better than a younger guy
man, I could really go off here. but I will bite my tongue.
__________________
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
Each person is different. You can only be vauge and general as to "what men want" or "what women want". What one woman may want might be differant from the one next to her. Same goes with men.
And each person's answer to what they want shouuld generally be complex, as people are complex. There are no easy answers.
Personally though, I'm very open and adaptive. So long as I feel loved and secure in a relationship then I'm happy and would be willing to adapt to what my partner would want. (Their hapiness becomes very important to me) Clear honest communication as to what they want is rather vital to me. My problems in previous relationships were different as well. Tried to give them what they wanted turned out the communication was bad and they didn't understand that I'm adaptive. so they figured I was only one way. The way I thought they wanted. I was not attentive enough in some and too attentive in others.
Ah well, They say there's someone out there for everyone. It's important to be yourself, you'll find someone who understands you. I just have it a bit more difficult due to my adaptive nature.
However, due to mu qualification, my boyfriend (lets say hypothetically my future husband) is ALWAYS going to earn less than me.
unless he has a huge business of his own, which is the only way he could ever possibly earn more money than I am currently qualified to earn.
That means, that hypothetically, if we are to get married, I would be one going to work, and he would be one staying at home. He knows that, and acknowledges.
Although, I do worry, that sometimes, a guy might get upset if a female earns more than him. At the mo he does not mind, however, I do not see how it will play out in the future.
__________________
في هذا العالم ثلاثة أشخاص أفسدوا البشرية : راعي غنم , طبيب و راكب الجمال , و راكب الجمال هو أسوأ نشال و أسوأ مشعوذ بين الثلاثة
I am not biting my tongue for your sake. it's out of respect for another members privacy. I agree with everything you said.
__________________
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I **** like you wanna ****, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
Well, that is just plain awesome that you are that successful...props goes to you. WAY TO GO!
The reason I don't want my wife to have to work IF she doesn't want is...
What if she doesn't feel like working anymore all of a sudden? What if she wants another child and needs to take a year or two off or what ever she deems necessary? I feel that a real man should provide well enough to give his wife those options.
When I first started dating my wife, she was self employed and was going to college while raising a son all by herself. Obviously, that was one of the things that was so attractive to me about her.
Later, right before we got married, we discussed her owning her own business so that I could complete medical school and survive, financially, the residency. It didn't work out because I would have to have an awesome job to get the collateral/qualify for the business loan and then it would take up to 5 years for the business to be able to stand on its own so I could do all of medical school. I gave up my dream of becoming an MD and instead pursued a career in IT...and it pays really well and my wife doesn't have to work IF she doesn't want to.
If your dude loves, then he would understand and accomdate you as best as possible. (Hell, I would love it if I didn't have to work so I could go to collge for that MD!!!) You seem smart enough that you would not be with a close minded male chauvinist.
Last edited by dadudemon on Jul 23rd, 2007 at 05:44 AM
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Jul 22nd, 2007 11:35 PM
