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Be proud to be British because...
Started by: mechmoggy

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mechmoggy
Northern Monkey

Gender: Male
Location: Changing nappies

Be proud to be British because...

Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of an Ice skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

British hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of
the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
Scalextric cars.

And finally......... In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst
throwing up into the toilet.


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Old Post Apr 27th, 2003 01:44 PM
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Corran
Lucifer

Gender: Male
Location: Look out of your Window

Those damn batteries taste awful too.


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Old Post Apr 27th, 2003 02:08 PM
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Bad Boy
Kevski

Gender: Unspecified
Location: Barry, South Wales

I'm not proud to be British! I consider myself to be Welsh, not British!


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Old Post Apr 27th, 2003 02:15 PM
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Thomas H
Senior Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location: Norway

I open the beer bottle with my teath!big grin


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Semper Fidelis

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Old Post Apr 27th, 2003 02:48 PM
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Bad Boy
Kevski

Gender: Unspecified
Location: Barry, South Wales

Ow!


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Old Post Apr 27th, 2003 03:02 PM
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Thomas H
Senior Member

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Location: Norway

no it dont hurt!


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Semper Fidelis

Specialist Thomas H

Old Post Apr 27th, 2003 03:11 PM
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Corran
Lucifer

Gender: Male
Location: Look out of your Window

quote:
Originally posted by Bad Boy
I'm not proud to be British! I consider myself to be Welsh, not British!
I am english, but still we are British, it is the common union between all the home nations.


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Old Post Apr 27th, 2003 03:43 PM
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GordonSkywalker
The Watcher

Gender: Unspecified
Location: (USA)

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The British Are Coming...

I am not of a direct British descent but love their television programming-like their comedies and of course DR Who. wink

Last edited by GordonSkywalker on Apr 27th, 2003 at 04:45 PM

Old Post Apr 27th, 2003 04:42 PM
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Member.
Senior Member

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my ancestors were britishbig grinstick out tongue

Old Post Apr 27th, 2003 04:50 PM
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Julie
The Student

Gender: Female
Location: New Jersey

I'm not british......:-)


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Old Post Apr 27th, 2003 05:13 PM
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finti
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been a while since my ancestors were in Britain............

Old Post Apr 27th, 2003 05:15 PM
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GordonSkywalker
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Was this meant to be a serious topic I wonder?

Old Post Apr 27th, 2003 05:31 PM
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finti
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if you tought it was meant to be serious then you need to take a look at the first post one more time

Old Post Apr 27th, 2003 05:34 PM
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GordonSkywalker
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I just did. I see now. Otherwise I would have never posted as I did.

Old Post Apr 27th, 2003 06:26 PM
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Ushgarak
Paladin

Gender: Male
Location: Chelmsford, Essex, UK

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I seem to remember about 30 Brits a year injure themselves using knives to open packets containing a new knife.


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Old Post Apr 27th, 2003 08:12 PM
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Raz
Meister

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Location: UK

Admin

lol, that is very funny...and sadly true!


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Old Post Apr 27th, 2003 08:39 PM
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REXXXX
Networking

Gender: Male
Location: San Diego

Moderator

How come some of those things can be American? I've seen those things before...


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Old Post Apr 27th, 2003 09:37 PM
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GordonSkywalker
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So British kids are that accident-prone huh?

Old Post Apr 27th, 2003 09:50 PM
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REXXXX
Networking

Gender: Male
Location: San Diego

Moderator

Who said this just pertained to kids?

You forgot to add one to your list, Mech.

1 Brit is captured every year by aliens with pillow-destroying lasers.


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Old Post Apr 27th, 2003 10:30 PM
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BackFire
Blood. It's nature's lube

Gender: Male
Location: Huntington Beach, CA

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actually mech, most of those things happen in america as well.


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Old Post Apr 27th, 2003 10:31 PM
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All times are UTC. The time now is 10:13 PM.
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