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A joke a day, keeps the wacko away
Started by: yerssot

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Corran
Lucifer

Gender: Male
Location: Look out of your Window

Why nagging does NOT work.

What a woman says:
"This place is a mess! C'mon, you and I need to clean up, your stuff is lying on the floor and you'll have no clothes to wear, if we don't do laundry right now!"

What a man hears:
"blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES
blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW"


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Old Post Jul 29th, 2002 01:48 PM
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queeq
Chaos

Gender: Unspecified
Location: JP's bed

laughing out loud


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Old Post Jul 29th, 2002 01:51 PM
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Gundark
Mayhem

Gender: Female
Location: Skywalker Ranch

Corran has some pretty good ones. laughing out loud


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Old Post Jul 29th, 2002 02:44 PM
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LaurenE147
Restricted

Gender: Unspecified
Location: on a beach

Account Restricted

Do you write this stuff?


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"You do not have a soul. You are soul. You have a body."-C.S.Lewis




Old Post Jul 30th, 2002 12:38 AM
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queeq
Chaos

Gender: Unspecified
Location: JP's bed

No, he steals it.


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Old Post Jul 30th, 2002 07:19 AM
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Corran
Lucifer

Gender: Male
Location: Look out of your Window

I don't steal them, if someone tells them to me, then I believe I am allowed to tell them to others. Anyhow heres another for today.

The contemplative routine of the convent was being disrupted by the presence of workmen converting the electrical service from overhead lines to buried cable. Mother Superior called the electric company's complaint department to ask for help.
"The profanity these men use constantly is unsuitable for our community.
You must make them stop cursing so much!", said the nun.
"Very well, Sister. But you must make allowances for their habits. Even when they are trying to be tactful, they will still tend to call a spade a spade.", said the company spokeswoman.

Mother Superior replied, "That's fine. However, I think the term they actually use is 'God damned, mother ****in' shov


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Old Post Jul 30th, 2002 08:35 AM
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queeq
Chaos

Gender: Unspecified
Location: JP's bed

shov?


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Old Post Jul 30th, 2002 01:22 PM
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finti
Senior Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

mix between a shovel and a show???

Old Post Jul 30th, 2002 01:26 PM
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queeq
Chaos

Gender: Unspecified
Location: JP's bed

Sounds like he forgot to paste part of the joke.


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Old Post Jul 30th, 2002 01:27 PM
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Corran
Lucifer

Gender: Male
Location: Look out of your Window

el.'

There you go, thats the missed part. Wasn't that difficult to work out was it.


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Old Post Jul 30th, 2002 02:24 PM
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queeq
Chaos

Gender: Unspecified
Location: JP's bed

So what was the joke again?


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Old Post Jul 30th, 2002 02:26 PM
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Corran
Lucifer

Gender: Male
Location: Look out of your Window

The routine of the convent was being disrupted by the presence of workmen converting the electrical service from overhead lines to buried cable. Mother Superior called the electric company's complaint department to ask for help.
"The profanity these men use constantly is unsuitable for our community.
You must make them stop cursing so much!", said the nun.
"Very well, Sister. But you must make allowances for their habits. Even when they are trying to be tactful, they will still tend to call a spade a spade.", said the company spokeswoman.

Mother Superior replied, "That's fine. However, I think the term they actually use is 'God damned, mother ****in' shovel".

Happy now?


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Old Post Jul 30th, 2002 04:15 PM
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yerssot
Senior Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

I am, as always

Old Post Jul 30th, 2002 04:21 PM
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Corran
Lucifer

Gender: Male
Location: Look out of your Window

Happy is quite close to what you are all the time I suppose.


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Old Post Jul 30th, 2002 04:28 PM
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yerssot
Senior Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

What am I than? lots of things? multipersonality ?

Old Post Jul 30th, 2002 05:42 PM
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DJ Velocity
The one and only

Gender: Unspecified
Location: Hartlepool, England

tool


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Old Post Jul 30th, 2002 10:14 PM
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yerssot
Senior Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

a happy tool-day to you too smile

Old Post Jul 30th, 2002 10:15 PM
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phinney6
consiglieri

Gender: Unspecified
Location:

im a whacko

Old Post Jul 30th, 2002 11:25 PM
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queeq
Chaos

Gender: Unspecified
Location: JP's bed

quote:
Originally posted by yerssot
a happy tool-day to you too smile


I thought he would go away.


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Old Post Jul 31st, 2002 06:52 AM
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Corran
Lucifer

Gender: Male
Location: Look out of your Window

This joke a day thing does not seem to be keeping the wacko away, in fact we seem to accumulating more. So lets try a joke about a Psychiatrist to scare them off.

Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble.
Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under ... you gotta help me, I'm going crazy!"

"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"A hundred dollars per visit."

"I'll sleep on it," said Shakey.

Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

"For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars."

"Is that so! How?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"


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Old Post Jul 31st, 2002 08:12 AM
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