[about Bloigen]
Sanctuary: Well, what do you think of him?
Dark C: He's a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard, a belligerent old fart, a worthless steaming pile of cow dung, figuratively speaking.
[a moment passes and Bloigen starts laughing. The other KMC members follow his lead and start laughing also]
Bloigen: That's the funniest damn thing I've ever heard. You're a real card, C. I love a good roast. Do Maynard.
Dark C: Maynard is old. He should've been out of the game years ago but he can't stay home because he hates his wife. You've met her at the Christmas parties, she's the one that gets plastered and calls him a retard, and you, Floigen; you're the biggest brownnose I've ever seen. You've got your head so far up Bloigen's ass, I can't tell where you end and he begins.
Bloigen: [roaring with laughter] Priceless!
[Dark C continues with every member]
Dark C: You have bad breath caused by gingivitis. You couldn't get a porn star off. Your hairpiece looks like something that was killed crossing the highway. I don't know whether to comb it or scrape it off with a shovel and bury it in lime. Loser! Idiot! Wimp! Degenerate! ******!
Bloigen: I like your style, Dark C! That's just what this stuffy forum needs - a little irreverence!
Dark C: Good! I'll see you later, dick-head!
K.Diddy: Vinny Valentine made it up. It's a blow job thing.
Gornack: What do you mean?
K.Diddy: After he gets a blow job, he likes to have the cum spit back into his mouth while kissing. It's called snowballing.
Gornack: He requested this?
K.Diddy: He gets off on it.
Gornack: Vinny can be talked into anything.
K.Diddy: Why do you say that?
Gornack: Like you said, he snowballed him.
K.Diddy: Vinny? No; I snowballed him.
Gornack: Yeah, right.
K.Diddy: I'm serious...
Gornack: You sucked that guy's dick?
K.Diddy: Yeah. How do you think I know he liked...
Gornack: But...but you said you only had sex with three guys! You
never mentioned him!
K.Diddy: That's because I never had sex with him!
Gornack: You sucked his dick!
K.Diddy: We went out a few times. We didn't have sex, but we fooled around.
Gornack: Oh my God! Why did you tell me you only slept with three guys?
K.Diddy: Because I did only sleep with three guys! That doesn't mean I didn't just go with people.
Gornack: Oh my God, I feel so nauseous...
K.Diddy: I'm sorry, Gornack. I thought you understood.
Gornack: I did understand! I understand that you slept with three different guys, and that's all you said.
K.Diddy: Please calm down.
Gornack: How many?
K.Diddy: Gornack...
Gornack: How many dicks have you sucked?!
K.Diddy: Let it go...
Gornack: HOW MANY?
K.Diddy: All right! Shut up a second and I'll tell you! Jesus! I didn't freak like this when you told me how many guys you ****ed.
Gornack: This is different. This is important. How many?! Well...?
K.Diddy: Something like thirty-six.
Gornack: WHAT? SOMETHING LIKE THIRTY-SIX?
K.Diddy: Lower your voice!
Gornack: What the hell is that anyway, "something like thirty-six?" Does that include me?
K.Diddy: Um. Thirty-seven.
Gornack: I'M THIRTY-SEVEN?
K.Diddy: I'm going to KMC.
Gornack: Thirty-seven?! (to customer) My man-child sucked thirty-seven dicks!
Customer: In a row?
Gornack: Hey! Where are you going?!
K.Diddy: Hey listen, jerk! Until today you never even knew how many guys I'd slept with, because you never even asked. And then you act all nonchalant about ****ing twelve different girls. Well, I never had sex with twelve different guys!
Gornack: No, but you sucked enough dick!
K.Diddy: Yeah, I went down on a few guys...
Gornack: A few?
K.Diddy: ...And one of those guys was you! The last one, I might add, which-if you're too stupid to comprehend-means that I've been faithful to you since we met! All the other guys I went with before I met you, so, if you want to have a complex about it, go ahead! But don't look at me like I'm the forum whore, because you were plenty busy yourself, before you met me!
Gornack: Well...why did you have to suck their dicks? Why didn't you just sleep with them, like any decent person?!
K.Diddy: Because going down it's a big deal! I used to like a guy, we'd make out, and sooner or later I'd go down on him. But I only had sex with the guys I loved.
Gornack: I feel sick.
K.Diddy: I love you. Don't feel sick.
Gornack: Every time I kiss you now I'm going to taste thirty-six other guys.
K.Diddy: I'm going to KMC. Maybe later you'll be a bit more rational.
Gornack: Thirty-seven. I just can't...
K.Diddy: Goodbye, Gornack.
Gornack: Try not to suck any more dicks on your way through the internet!
__________________
Last edited by LanceWindu on May 30th, 2006 at 12:11 AM
Lance: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
Darkc: I don't think I was.
Lance: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Darkc: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Lance: No, it's too perilous.
Darkc: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
Lance: No, we've got to find the Holy Thread. Come on.
Darkc: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Lance: No. It's unhealthy.
Darkc: I bet you're gay.
Lance: Am not.
KMC Community Forums
May 29th, 2006 11:43 PM
