In an attempt to follow in the steps of Dolly Parton, Chuck Norris attempted to open a theme park. Unfortunetly the idea was cast asunder when the name "Norriswood" was already used to name his penis.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Once, Mr. T, Chuck Norris, and Vin Diesel all entered the same room at the same time. The sheer force of their combined presence resulted in time stopping for seven days while God attempted to recreate the world.
Mr. T travelled back in time and flew over several countries just so he could pity the guy who first discovered Fools Gold in person. Naturally, the pity inflicted on him caused his face to explode.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Mr. T once took a crap at a party in New York City. Afraid of being killed if you flushed it, people left it alone. The poop sat in that toilet for nine months. That is how Puff Daddy was born.
There are no weapons of mass destruction, just Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the only person to ever beat Kobayashi in a hot dog eating contest. Chuck Norris won by picking up the whole table of hot dogs and eating them all in one bite, leaving none for his competition. To help the hot dogs go down easier, he ate the 400 pound fat guy next to him. Chuck Norris was then banned from eating hot dogs or fat people ever again.
The only thing stronger than kevlar are vests woven out of Chuck Norris' chest hair.
When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Vin Diesel!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
KMC Community Forums
Dec 23rd, 2005 06:16 AM
