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silver_tears
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
 Geography of Men and Women.........
The Geography of a Woman
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Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile deltas.
Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars.
Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty.
Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia or Iraq. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.
Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically unpatrolled but the frigid climate keeps people away.
Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England or Mongolia. With a glorious and all conquering past but alas no future (a bit like Tony Blair, maybe Blair's a women really).
After 70, they become Albania or Afghanistan. Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
The Geography of a Man
------------------------
Between the ages of 15 - 70 a man is like Zimbabwe - ruled by a dick.
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Oct 7th, 2003 02:35 AM |
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Krisco
Member
 Gender: Male
Location: Québec / Canada |
Aye!!!!!!!!!!1 The woman stuff is kinda interesting -_-
But the ruled by a dick part is ..  We have feelings to you know :P
__________________
All, of my hate cannot be found,
I will not be drowned, by you'r toughtless schemming,
So, you can try to tear me down, beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming.
- KoRn - ThOuGhTlEsS
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Oct 7th, 2003 02:40 AM |
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silver_tears
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
awwwww but if u knew me ud kno i love guys 
this is nothing against them just a little joke 
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Oct 7th, 2003 02:41 AM |
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silver_tears
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
thanks
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Oct 7th, 2003 02:42 AM |
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The Force
Holy Hypocrits!
 Gender: Male
Location: In my reality |
i read that somewhere... hmmm
__________________
Made by the awesome transforming Hegemon
Don't mess with The Force, because I ownz you. -The Force
Crazy Christian all over your candy arse. 
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Oct 7th, 2003 02:43 AM |
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Krisco
Member
Gender: Male
Location: Québec / Canada |
Just you wait i'll come up with something soon !!!!
__________________
All, of my hate cannot be found,
I will not be drowned, by you'r toughtless schemming,
So, you can try to tear me down, beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming.
- KoRn - ThOuGhTlEsS
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Oct 7th, 2003 02:43 AM |
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silver_tears
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
thank you i just get really hyper and then i cant help myself 
and again in no way is this a diss to the fellas out there
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Oct 7th, 2003 02:44 AM |
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Krisco
Member
Gender: Male
Location: Québec / Canada |
Ok I found something but its not that funny but oh well, I have to try don't I :P
I'll find betetr ones toomorow , I am a bit sleepy -_-
------------------
A Man's Guide To Female English
_
-- We need to talk = I need to complain_
-- Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to_
-- I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important_
-- We need = I want_
-- It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now_
-- Do what you want = You'll pay for this later_
-- I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I've got my period_
-- Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs_
-- I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper....._
-- I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white_
-- I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep_
-- Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive_
-- How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like_
-- I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV_
-- Is my bum fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful_
-- You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me_
-- Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]_
-- Yes = No_
-- No = No_
-- Maybe = No_
-- I'm sorry = You'll be sorry_
-- This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house_
__________________
All, of my hate cannot be found,
I will not be drowned, by you'r toughtless schemming,
So, you can try to tear me down, beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming.
- KoRn - ThOuGhTlEsS
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Oct 7th, 2003 03:02 AM |
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silver_tears
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
do u really wanna start this i can really dish it out
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Oct 7th, 2003 03:03 AM |
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silver_tears
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
okay im sorry last one
One day, Adam sat outside the Garden of Eden shortly after eating the apple, and wondered about men and women. So looking up to the heavens he says, "Excuse me GOD, can I ask you a few questions?"
GOD replied, "Go on Adam but be quick I have a world to create."
So Adam says," When you created Eve, why did You make her body so curvy and tender unlike mine?"
"I did that, Adam, so that you could love her."
"Oh, well then, why did You give her long, shiny, beautiful hair, and not me?"
"I did that Adam so that you could love her."
"Oh, well then, why did You make her so stupid? Certainly not so that I could love her?"
"Well Adam, no. I did that so that she could love you"
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Oct 7th, 2003 03:07 AM |
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silver_tears
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
oh my this is too good.......
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God.
"Lord, I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"What's a man, Lord?"
"Man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vainglorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time.
But... he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he's aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs.
He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly."
"Sounds great!" says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.
What's the catch, Lord?"
"Well... you can have him on one condition."
"What's that, Lord?"
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring...
So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first.
Just remember, it's our little secret...
You know, woman to woman."
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Oct 7th, 2003 03:10 AM |
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BadKitty
cockeyed
 Gender: Female
Location: in cha cha heels |
aha!!! thats what I always thought!! 
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Oct 7th, 2003 03:15 AM |
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silver_tears
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
one of my best yet
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Oct 7th, 2003 03:16 AM |
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Krisco
Member
Gender: Male
Location: Québec / Canada |
Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, which do you let in first?_
A: The dog of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.
Q: Why do women have smaller feet then men?_
A: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink._
Q: Why do men pass more gas than women do?_
A: Because women don't shut up long enough to build up pressure._
-------------
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
A dog's parents never visit.
Dogs love long car trips.
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.
Dogs like beer.
Dogs don't hate their bodies.
No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the Blowfish album.
No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.
Dogs never criticize.
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
Dogs never expect gifts.
It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.
Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.
Dogs like to do their snooping outside, as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.
Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.
You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day.
Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.
Dogs don't borrow your shirts.
Dogs never want foot-rubs.
Dogs can't talk.
Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
---------
Oh dont get me wrong i love girls more than dogs but those dogs things are all true, and blablabla.
__________________
All, of my hate cannot be found,
I will not be drowned, by you'r toughtless schemming,
So, you can try to tear me down, beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming.
- KoRn - ThOuGhTlEsS
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Oct 7th, 2003 03:16 AM |
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silver_tears
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
Men are just like a Dog...here's proof!
1. Both take up too much space on the bed.
2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
3. Both are threatened by their own kind.
4. Both like to chew wood.
5. Both mark their territory.
6. Both are bad at asking you questions.
7. Neither tells you what's bothering them.
8. Both tend to smell riper with age.
9. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
10. Neither does any dishes.
11. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
12. Both like dominance games.
13. Both are suspicious of the postman.
14. Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.
15. Neither understands what you see in cats.
take that 
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Oct 7th, 2003 03:17 AM |
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Krisco
Member
Gender: Male
Location: Québec / Canada |
Oh and Silver , where do u get all these jokes, they are good O_o
__________________
All, of my hate cannot be found,
I will not be drowned, by you'r toughtless schemming,
So, you can try to tear me down, beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming.
- KoRn - ThOuGhTlEsS
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Oct 7th, 2003 03:17 AM |
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silver_tears
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
Ok guys, own up...which one are you?
Excitable Type
Pants are twisted, cannot find hole, rips pants in anger.
Sociable Type
Joins pals for a pee whether he wants one or not.
Timid Type
Cannot pee if anyone is watching, pretends he has been and sneaks back later.
Nosy Type
Peeps over partition to have a look at the other fellow's thingy.
Indifferent Type
All urinals being occupied, uses sink.
Clever Type
Pees without holding tool, shows off by adjusting tie at the same time, pees on foot.
Vain Type
Undoes 5 buttons when 2 will do.
Absent-Minded Type
Opens jacket, takes out tie, pees in pants.
Worried Type
Is not quite sure what he has been up to lately, makes a furtive but close inspection of tool while peeing.
Disgruntled Type
Stands for a while, grunts, farts, tries to pee, fails, farts again and walks out muttering.
Conceited Type
Holds 2-inch tool like a baseball bat while peeing.
Sneaky Type
Drops silent farts while peeing and looks at the guy next to him.
Sloppy Type
Pees on shoe, walks out with flies undone, adjusts himself ten minutes later.
Learned Type
Reads a book or newspaper while peeing.
Childish Type
Watches bubbles at bottom of the urinal while peeing.
Efficient Type
Waits until has to poop and does both at the same time.
Strong Type
Bangs tool on side of urinal to remove drops.
Drunken Type
Pulls out tool, sees two, puts one away, and pees in trousers.
Embarrassed Type
Covers tool with both hands and pees through fingers.
Cock-Eyed Type
Stands in one cubical and pees in next one.
my little secret
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Oct 7th, 2003 03:19 AM |
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silver_tears
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
Wouldn't it be great if men were made by Kodak!
They would automatically shut off when they weren't being used.
You wouldn't have to wait for them to recharge after each shot.
They last longer and come with a warranty.
You can try them out first for a two-week trial period and return them if not satisfied with no risks or hassle.
They exist to capture the moment, not ruin it.
They come in fashion colors.
You can keep them in maximum zoom.
They come with replaceable or adjustable parts.
The parts that count are portable.
They don't mind over-exposure.
They respond to the slightest touch.
The one you want is available at a KMART near you
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Oct 7th, 2003 03:20 AM |
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