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My secret hobby
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KidRock
Senior Member

Gender: Male
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My secret hobby

A hobby of mine that nobody knows about is I like to be the first customer to take a shit at a new business. I find all the new businesses opening up such as grocery stores, Home Depots, restaurants, etc and I will walk in there first minute they are open for business and go right to the men's room and take a huge shit.

I have been doing this for 6 years now and have been the first customer to shit in over 110 stores throughout the area. I always buy something after so I can really be a customer. The night before I usually eat some bean burritos from Taco Bell and follow it up with a 20oz coffee on my way to the store early the next morning so I get the bubble gut which allows me a better chance of destroying the bathroom.

I have been the 1st person to shit in many new businesses throughout Southern Connecticut. I currently have 3 businesses that I'm waiting to open up for the public. I will make sure I'm the 1st to shit in the bathroom as a paying customer. I usually flush but sometimes if it's a massive one that requires a lot of toilet paper I will just leave it sitting, sort of like my calling card.

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May 20th, 2009 11:53 AM

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Bicnarok
From Ganymede

Gender: Male
Location: Cydonia, Mars

So your like some animal marking their territory with turds instead of pee, very interesting.

Most businesses over here don�t have toilets, your lucky.

May 20th, 2009 12:15 PM

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carnage52
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Gender: Male
Location: Blood Mountain

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Re: My secret hobby

quote: (post)
Originally posted by KidRock
A hobby of mine that nobody knows about is I like to be the first customer to take a shit at a new business. I find all the new businesses opening up such as grocery stores, Home Depots, restaurants, etc and I will walk in there first minute they are open for business and go right to the men's room and take a huge shit.

I have been doing this for 6 years now and have been the first customer to shit in over 110 stores throughout the area. I always buy something after so I can really be a customer. The night before I usually eat some bean burritos from Taco Bell and follow it up with a 20oz coffee on my way to the store early the next morning so I get the bubble gut which allows me a better chance of destroying the bathroom.

I have been the 1st person to shit in many new businesses throughout Southern Connecticut. I currently have 3 businesses that I'm waiting to open up for the public. I will make sure I'm the 1st to shit in the bathroom as a paying customer. I usually flush but sometimes if it's a massive one that requires a lot of toilet paper I will just leave it sitting, sort of like my calling card.

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May 20th, 2009 12:21 PM

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Ace of Knaves
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Gender: Male
Location: The End of the World

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Re: My secret hobby

quote: (post)
Originally posted by KidRock
A hobby of mine that nobody knows about is I like to be the first customer to take a shit at a new business. I find all the new businesses opening up such as grocery stores, Home Depots, restaurants, etc and I will walk in there first minute they are open for business and go right to the men's room and take a huge shit.

I have been doing this for 6 years now and have been the first customer to shit in over 110 stores throughout the area. I always buy something after so I can really be a customer. The night before I usually eat some bean burritos from Taco Bell and follow it up with a 20oz coffee on my way to the store early the next morning so I get the bubble gut which allows me a better chance of destroying the bathroom.

I have been the 1st person to shit in many new businesses throughout Southern Connecticut. I currently have 3 businesses that I'm waiting to open up for the public. I will make sure I'm the 1st to shit in the bathroom as a paying customer. I usually flush but sometimes if it's a massive one that requires a lot of toilet paper I will just leave it sitting, sort of like my calling card.

KMC has been here for a while; what motivated you to stick around after you took your shit?

May 20th, 2009 02:08 PM

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dadudemon
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: Bacta Tank.

Re: My secret hobby

quote: (post)
Originally posted by KidRock
A hobby of mine that nobody knows about is I like to be the first customer to take a shit at a new business. I find all the new businesses opening up such as grocery stores, Home Depots, restaurants, etc and I will walk in there first minute they are open for business and go right to the men's room and take a huge shit.

I have been doing this for 6 years now and have been the first customer to shit in over 110 stores throughout the area. I always buy something after so I can really be a customer. The night before I usually eat some bean burritos from Taco Bell and follow it up with a 20oz coffee on my way to the store early the next morning so I get the bubble gut which allows me a better chance of destroying the bathroom.

I have been the 1st person to shit in many new businesses throughout Southern Connecticut. I currently have 3 businesses that I'm waiting to open up for the public. I will make sure I'm the 1st to shit in the bathroom as a paying customer. I usually flush but sometimes if it's a massive one that requires a lot of toilet paper I will just leave it sitting, sort of like my calling card.

Sounds like fun.

I do something similar. I "ding" my crotch on undinged walls. I even make a "ding" sound so others can hear what is in my head.

Just a few pelvic thrusts with some dings, and the job is done.

Ding! Ding! ORDEEEEEER UUUUP!

Sometimes, if I see an attractive lady, I ding on her butt or face if she's sitting down. DING DING!

I have an alternate version where I bend over and put my butt on the same things and I blow really big raspberries. When I'm done, I turn around and "smell" my "farts." Then I make foul faces and say "OH MAN! THAT STAAAAANKS!" It is quite fun to do the fart thing on uptight people. They usually back away so you have to reach back with your arms and grab and hold them still while you "fart" on them. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAA! It's so fun. Pics, anyone?

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Last edited by dadudemon on May 20th, 2009 at 03:19 PM

May 20th, 2009 03:15 PM

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Robtard
Senor Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location: Captain's Chair, CA

Re: Re: My secret hobby

Yeah, that's retarded; the later more so than the former.

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May 20th, 2009 03:22 PM

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Darth Jello
Cheese Spelunker

Gender: Male
Location: Denver Metro, CO

KidRock, I hope you realize that forcing it or "bearing down" can cause hemorrhoids, anal fissure, and rectal prolapse. Is it really worth having injuries and conditions associated with elderly office workers, unsafe porn stars, and women who've had difficult deliveries just so you can leave a brown stain across Connecticut?

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May 20th, 2009 03:57 PM

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Bicnarok
From Ganymede

Gender: Male
Location: Cydonia, Mars

I never have to "force it" my turds just flop out.
I must have a healthy diat smile

May 20th, 2009 04:02 PM

Robtard
Senor Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location: Captain's Chair, CA

High fiber is key to a healthy digestive tract and anus.

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May 20th, 2009 04:17 PM

dadudemon
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: Bacta Tank.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Bicnarok
I never have to "force it" my turds just flop out.
I must have a healthy diat

Well, if your shiat comes right out, then your diat probably ain't so bad.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Robtard
High fiber is key to a healthy digestive tract and anus.

In all 25 years of my life, I've never heard or read "healthy...anus" before.

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May 20th, 2009 04:18 PM

Symmetric Chaos
Fractal King

Gender: Male
Location: Ko-ro-ba

I knew you were full of shit but this is just ridiculous.

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May 20th, 2009 04:20 PM

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dadudemon
Senior Member

Gender: Male
Location: Bacta Tank.

quote: (post)
Originally posted by Symmetric Chaos
I knew you were full of shit but this is just ridiculous.

Apparently, KR is only full of shit the day before a store opens.

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May 20th, 2009 04:24 PM

Earl v3.4
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post removed

Last edited by Paola on May 20th, 2009 at 06:15 PM

May 20th, 2009 05:47 PM

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Robtard
Senor Member

Gender: Unspecified
Location: Captain's Chair, CA

quote: (post)
Originally posted by dadudemon

In all 25 years of my life, I've never heard or read "healthy...anus" before.

You're welcome. A prolasped, wart-covered and fissure ridden anus would be an example of an 'unhealthy anus.'

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May 20th, 2009 06:14 PM

Sadako of Girth
Extreme Mode

Gender: Male
Location: McClane's Right one

Years ago I worked in the warehouse of a big DIY store.

There was the usual bathroom sets on display on plinths, all unconnected to the plumbing that makes them work.

People would always piss in the toilets and yes twice one summer someone shat in them.

Fortunately I was too busy driving forktrucks and dealing with the goods-in side of things to get assigned clear up duty, myself.

So have you ever been to England, Kid Rock..?

Was that you, or is this a relatively common thing...? stick out tongue