quote: (post)

Originally posted by Fëanor

Young Love…Old Hate

Treacherous Soul
A tortured heart
Wasted…wasted
Gathered dusts fly away, fly away

Who do I long for? A memory? A story?
None found. Always looked for.
Embrace the salt that falls, meanders, wandering.
Burdened. Heavy.

The words spoken
Brittle, fragile, a whisper painfully heard.
No longer do I see
Eyes opened and gouged

No longer do I feel
Flayed and gutted…a slave.
Smite me if you will…I yet live
Beyond, beyond the me.

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Originally posted by Fëanor

I Want to Forget

I want to forget…that I’m even alive
Never to remember the boiling pain
Inside…of me

Or that if you Google my name I’m one of many
Too many, too many…and too much
Disappear
To be invisible to all eyes
Looking and searching for elusiveness
Grasping
For hope cast aside like garbage
Collecting flies, squirming with maggots

But I live
And I remember
Every part
Every second of endless, restlessness
Because of…
Were you really there?
When empty promises lifted me to new heights
Of anxiety and desolate roads was my beginning
Of that falsely lighted tunnel?

And nights I prayed and prayed
With fervent desire to multiply my sorry lot
So I can look on enviously
The suicide pact of two disparate lovers
In poisoned embrace

When the Idi Amin(s) and the Hussein(s) and the catholic priests
Before their downfall lived in ignorant bliss
But still…but still

I want to forget…my cancerous ride
Through life because “emo” is not a mental state
For wannabe teenage angst but a label
Like gooks, spics, and *******.
Freedom of speech guarantees my right
To say those words
But the PC world says:
“fukc you and die, you racist scum!”
I want to forget…that I’m even alive
When life, death, love, hate
Can shrink a man’s soul inside.

quote: (post)

Originally posted by Fëanor
My World for No Money

I looked inside of me and saw the little man struggle
To form a coherent thought
But clumsily fell off its high horse to land in spit
Mucky and salty, it dried shining
I blatantly shone, with disgust

I spoke to an empty room and
Heard the echo of my shame a thousand fold
Reverberate
It was cold and biting
Little death
That’s what I said

But the world is my cage
The key in my belly
Put your finger down my throat
So I can vomit
You say no and yes, followed with maybe

You say I haven’t paid enough
Though the cost was cheap
Two for one, half-off today only
When I gave you my card…it was declined
Insufficient funds
Spare a dollar, mister?
No.
I’m not a bum, just flat broke

My heart is empty
But filled with hysterical misery
I don’t hate life, it hates me
I’m a veteran to these games but,
I’ve never won
What games?
If you have to ask, then you’re one up on me

There is no future in bliss and happiness;
Only stagnation
I don’t want to go out in the world fully clothed
I want them all to see me as how I am:
A contradiction…conflicted

A young man asked me
Why was I so happy.
I told him I saw grief playing with sorrow
And I had to laugh
Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be?
My life doesn’t suck;
It just is.

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Originally posted by Fëanor
untitled

I made a promise I shouldna kept
To a little angel I’ve never met
For six long months, she had eased my pain
And tried so hard to keep me sane

Then things went weird, sorta different
And in my stead, I acted ignorant
She opened her heart and so did I
I wish I hadn’t, oh why? Oh why?

Now she longs for that day to come
When we as two should now be one
In bliss and happiness that can never be
A lie. A thought. A fantasy.

My words a curse, a bane, a death
To utter sweet nothings beneath my breath
A promise made I shouldna kept
To a little angel I’ve never met

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Originally posted by Nerdanel
wow..

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Originally posted by Fëanor
don't think this was for you, hon...it was to someone else.

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Originally posted by Nerdanel
i knew that.. still wow

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Originally posted by Fëanor
Aiya Nerdanel

Pain and suffering were the clothes that you wore
Love and happiness was some far off shore
But that…like all things must come to an end
If you but look ‘round that hoped for bend

There you will see me standing there
My hand out to you, a life to share
Tho’ our roads were narrow and long
Time did temper our love to be strong

Waited and waited for that day to be seen
When the sun and the moon did brightly beam
I normally don’t write in this way
But I’ve lots and more I wish to say

So with nimble mind and quickened heart
I say to you this day we’ll ne’er part
When two became one for a time then two
I’ll gladly say with joy I love you.