Ron took out his wand and with all his energy left, pointed it at the huge cloud of Dementors and said: Expecto Patronum. A small wisp of smoke flayed out of the end of his wand and then disappeared. It hadn’t worked. He tried again but his wand froze. Ron quickly let go of it, the wand cracked as it hit the floor. Ron ran looking for cover. He looked around and saw almost an army of wizards with there wands pointed at the Dementors, with bright and shiny creatures and streams of light being ejected out of there wands and flying up to attack the vicious beasts. Ron ran over to join Hermione, who had just released a silvery, faded otter from her wand and sent it up at the Dementors. A large white light blinded every being in the area. The anxious screams of the Dementors could be heard as they pulled back to the entrance they came from and retreated. The light died down to reveal the patronus was cast by Olivia Felton.
Almost 1 hour after the violent attack, things were getting pretty much back to normal. Hogwarts students had been allocated an area to sleep in for the night. Just like Hogwarts, the boys and girls had been segregated. Ron and Hermione were both worried after they saw Draco fall of his broom. Draco was a Death Eater, a servant of the Dark Lord Voldemort. Why was he allowed back at Hogwarts? Of course Ron had taken the liberty to find out. He lifted his head up from his soft and comfortable pillow and looked over to Draco. He was asleep. Ron quickly jumped out of his bed and tip-toed over to his trunk and opened it. Inside were lots of old pieces of parchment and some strange drink. Before he had time to dig deeper, a ball of light was emitted from the bed as Draco quickly jumped out and pointed his wand at Ron.
I'm sorry but this is crazy the Triwizard tourneyment happens every 5 years or is 500 yrs i cant remeber and thats just a one time thing and you cant just skip a whole part of a story it doesnt make sense at all im sry but i dont like it as much as i thought i would
Take what you can from
your dreams, make them
as real as anything
Your story is really good, TO. Don't feel you need to rush things. Though JKR manages to go from relevant scene to relevant scene, a lot of them are in fairly normal surroundings. For instance, Harry's journey to the cave - the train rides to Hogwarts have always played big parts in the books, as have some of the lessons (Care of Magical Creatures, for example), etc.
H.S.'s comments are always useful - more detail, and new lines for speech.
And one more comment... I'm going to be very disappointed if this is all a dream.
__________________ "If clowns warred on monkeys, and the monkeys had guns, and were trained to use them, who would win?"
“Ah, Ron” said the blonde haired child. Draco placed his wand at his bedside table. Ron noticed that the voice was different that his normal voice.
“Wh…who are you?” Ron stuttered. Draco turned toward Ron. His face was largely disfigured as he somehow started to grow. The sandy blonde hair turned dark brown as he gradually formed into:
“Professor Lupin?” Ron cried out. Ron darted his eyes back at the trunk by his bed. As he looked closer, the pieces of parchment were the plans from the order about spying on the death eaters, and that strange drink was obviously polyjuice potion.
“But I thought polyjuice potion didn’t work for animals” Ron joked. Lupin cracked a short smile, but was soon wiped from his face when he spotted a Ravenclaw student waking up. He quickly picked up his wand and pointed it at the student. A short, long orange light was released from the wand and into the students head. They quickly went back to sleep.
“I take it all the teachers know about this then?” Ron asked
“Yes” Lupin replied. “We have dispatched spies from the order. Mad Eye Moody is posing as a turned wizard with the death eaters…”
“What???” Ron whispered in a surprised tone. “They will kill him.”
“Direct access with Voldemort...” Ron flinched when he spoke the dark wizard’s name, but Lupin went on, “We had to take that risk. Find out what Volde…” Lupin stopped as he looked at Ron. “Find out what… you know who is planning.”
“Why are you here?” Ron asked.
“Now is not the time to tell you” Lupin replied with hesitancy.
“Go back to sleep Ron. Im already late” Lupin commanded. Ron did as he said as Lupin quietly stepped out of the room.
is that it???????????? u lazy git lol but it was good kinda seen it coming though that moody wasnt really a death eater i think u need to do like a flash back thing with lupin explaining to ron how moody got in though
Ok, Since i cut so much of this out, many people have become confused about the plot. I am therefore announcing i will release an Extended Edition of this story sometime in the near future to fill in all the plot holes.