Gender: Male Location: Sailing the seas of cheese.
So there's a bear and a rabbit in the woods, and the bear says to the rabbit, "Hey, when you take a shit, do you ever have a problem with it sticking to your fur?" And the rabbit says, "No."
Before he was terminated by the Dallas Cowboys football team, Coach Barry Switzer was seeking advice all around the NFL on what ingredient makes for a winning football team. He eventually sought out Steve Mariucci of the San Francisco Forty-Niners, who told him that the MOST important thing to having a winning football team was to have a quarterback who was extremely smart and as proof he took him over to quarterback, Steve Young, and asked Steve this question: "Who is your father's brother's nephew?"
Steve Young without hesitating a moment answered, "Me."
When Switzer returned to the Cowboys practice facilities, he went over to Troy Aikman and asked him the same question: "Who is your father's brother's nephew?"
Troy thought about it for a moment and told the coach he needed some more time to come up with the right answer. Then Troy went over to Deion Sanders and asked Deion the same question.
Deion, replied, "Why it's me!" So Troy Aikman went back to coach Switzer and said, "I have the answer, it's Deion Sanders."
"No, No!" replied Switzer, "you're wrong, it's Steve Young."
This one is funnier anyway, and prolly longer too.
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
So this man gets a new job at a car garage, and he's feeling kinda tense, you know. His girlfriend's just left him, and he's looking for a way to release his tension. His boss notices, and tells him to visit the tree behind their office at midnight that night.
That night, he visits the tree and gets his groove on with a small hole near the base of the tree. He's amazed at how great it feels and how much it feels like getting some from a woman, so he comes back each night at midnight.
However, on the final night, he tries again, only to find that he's just been splintered by the tree, and that it hurts immensely. The boss walks up at this time.
"Boss, what happened? The tree stopped working," he says.
"Oh, that's right," the boss replies. "I forgot to tell you. It was your turn tonight."
There were three boys all in third grade: an Asian boy, a Spanish boy and a redneck. They were trying to think of games to play at recess when the Asian boy got an idea. "I know," he said, "we can play, ‘Who's Got the Biggest Pee Pee’".
"How do you play that?" asked the redneck.
"It's easy'' said the Spanish boy, "we can play it next recess."
So when recess time came, the three boys went outside. "Alright," said the Spanish boy, "Lets play."
The Asian boy explained that all you have to do is pull down your pants and whoever has the biggest pee pee is the winner. And so the Asian boy pulled down his pants and the other two boys were impressed. Then the Spanish boy pulled down his pants. His pee pee was about the same size as the Asian boy's. As the redneck boy pulled his pants down, the other two boys stared in awe.
"You win for sure," they both said.
Later that day the redneck boy went home and his mother asked him, "So did you make any new friends today?"
"Yup. I played this game called ‘Who's Got the Biggest Pee Pee’ and the other boys said I won because I'm a redneck."
His mother laughed and replied, "No sweetie, you won because you're 23."
KMC Community Forums
Jun 16th, 2006 03:44 AM
loving bun bun all the time 
