Gigli Review
by Jerry Saravia (faust668 AT aol DOT com)November 17th, 2004
GIGLI (2003)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
RATING: One star
Oh, pity the movie that rhymes with "really." Pity the poor fools who thought that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez could rate as mob enforcers or hit men. Pity the people who thought that sexually explicit jokes are funny if they are not written by Kevin Smith. Oh, and sadly, pity director Martin Brest who thought he could make something artful out of something so artless.
This wasteland of a movie has Ben Affleck as Gigli, a hit man-of-sorts whose job is to kidnap the mentally-challenged brother of a federal prosecutor so that some mafia henchman (Al Pacino) will not get a stiff sentence for whacking people. Gigli is so incompetent that Ricki (Jennifer Lopez) is sent to make sure he does his job correctly. Excuse me? Let's see if I get this right: a lesbian mob enforcer is sent to make sure a hotheaded, arrogant mob enforcer doesn't screw up holding a hostage in his own apartment? Why didn't they just give the job to Ricki? As the movie ensues for an eternity, Ricki and Gigli verbally duel on matters involving sex, sexual preference and sexual orientation. Ricki decides to sleep with Gigli on the same bed, but not make love. Gigli loves to strut and tries to prove his case that heterosexuality should be the preference for everybody. Ricki proves her case by mentioning there are two orifices from which a woman can get pleasure, rendering lesbianism as the sexual preference. It should come as no surprise that Gigli and Ricki do get it on, which proves that lesbians in Hollywood movies eventually put out.
Martin Brest directs these scenes with no flair, no energy, using mostly long lenses. A lot of films nowadays are shot with long lenses, so long in fact that actors and backgrounds often merge in a flat, two-dimensional look. The problem is that these actors are about as interesting as a piece of cardboard. Ben and Jen never convinced me they were mob enforcers. Christopher Walken does a walk-on, Al Pacino shows up and kills somebody in a "Scarface"-like rage, and that's about it. Most of the movie centers on Ben and Jen, formerly Bennifer, chattering away like annoying neighbors. It is a two-hour joke on sexuality with graphic violence thrown in for no real measure. And to think that the director once made "Going in Style," "Beverly Hills Cop," and "Midnight Run," not to mention "Scent of a Woman," is enough to make you vomit when his latest endeavor rhymes with "really."
For more reviews, check out JERRY AT THE MOVIES at: http://www.geocities.com/faustus_08520/Jerry_at_the_Movies.html
BIO on the author:
http://www.geocities.com/faustus_08520/index.html
Email: [email protected]
Originally posted in the rec.arts.movies.reviews newsgroup. Copyright belongs to original author unless otherwise stated. We take no responsibilities nor do we endorse the contents of this review.
