The Grudge Review
by Ryan Ellis (flickershows AT hotmail DOT com)November 12th, 2004
The Grudge
reviewed by Ryan Ellis
November 10, 2004
My Tagline---Scary movie? Actually, 'Scary Movie' was more terrifying
Bread, potato chips, carrots... Whoops, I have a reader. Sorry, just working on my grocery list, which is exactly what I was doing during 'The Grudge'. When you slap down your cash to see a horror movie, the very least the movie should do is scare you once or twice. But there isn't a single good scare in this movie. I haven't been this calm during a horror film since 'Halloween: Resurrection'.
First-time writer Stephen Susco adapted Takashi Shimizu's script from the 2003 Japanese version of 'The Grudge'. And here's a rarity---Shimizu directed the original and now he directs the American remake. I know nothing of the first film, but Shimizu's second crack at this story is a pure rip-off. 'The Sixth Sense', 'The Ring', and probably a dozen other pics have grounds to sue for copyright infringement. However, they all did it better than 'The Grudge'. Then again, the movie has been out for a few weeks and it's a runaway hit, so the viewing public doesn't seem to mind.
Sarah Michelle Gellar plays Karen, an American student in Japan. Working as some sort of care provider, she ends up in a house that's haunted by 2 of its former occupants. We find out that the dead boy and his dead mother have made it their beyond-the-grave mission to spook anyone who enters their house. Even though Bill Murray and the Ghostbusters or even the Scooby gang seemed like a logical choice to call, Karen and Detective Nakagawa (Ryo
Ishibashi) are the only ones who know this secret and they try to do something about it.
Bill Pullman has an odd cameo. He opens the movie by leaning way, way too far over a balcony. It's a jolting way to kick things off, but it has no resonance because we don't yet know why he would do such a thing. When we find out the Why in an extended flashback, it's not completely clear as to the How. Pullman's character is victimized for no good reason. Come to think of it, this is a movie with plenty of innocent victims. And I do mean INNOCENT. At least Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees had a subtext to their killing sprees. If you screwed, smoked up, or just acted like a dumb teenager, you were gonna get sliced. Not so in 'The Grudge', where the nihilism of the fantastical killings makes the whole movie seem rather pointless.
Shimizu has assembled a decent supporting cast, who basically serve as chum for a shark. They have hardly anything to do. Jason Behr is Gellar's boyfriend. Does nothing. Clea DuVall and William Mapother are a married couple who move into the crazy house and suffer the consequences. They're wasted. Grace Zabriskie is Mapother's mother and she just lays in bed the whole time until she gets---what?---scared to death. See ya, Gracie. KaDee Strickland plays Mapother's sister and her lengthy encounter with the girl ghost isn't worth the time spent showing it. Japanese actors I've never heard of make up the rest of the cast, including the 2 villains. Even Gellar doesn't distinguish herself.
Since this is a post-'80s horror film with a name-brand star in the lead, there's no sex, no nudity, no copious gore, and no fun. Oh, but there are plenty of cheesy shock moments in 'The Grudge', many of which made suckers out of my fellow audience members. The guy beside me sat cross-armed and motionless. I guess he feels the way I do and expects more from a horror movie than loud music stingers that augment what are supposed to be terrifying moments. If you've seen 5 or 6 of these kinds of films, cheap scare tactics won't work on you. And the dead woman's strangled, gurgling sound meant to portent doom is merely annoying.
Strangely, Sam Raimi has an executive producer credit. Ever since he learned how to mint money by directing the 'Spider-Man' movies, he seems to have turned into a mogul (with several exec-pro credits on upcoming horror movies). Along with his long-time producing partner, Rob Tapert (who also produced this flick), Raimi knows how to use the undead as creepy bad guys.
His 'Evil Dead' series proves he knows how to make a crowd scream...and laugh, for that matter. There's absolutely no humour in 'The Grudge', unfortunately, and I thought that would be one element Raimi would bring to the table. Anything as absurd as this shouldn't take itself so seriously.
'The Grudge' made me feel sad and a little bit irritated. Why doesn't anyone ever yell at these murderous movie ghosts, "I had nothing to do with your death, you asshole. So fuck off!" Get angry right back. Own that ghost. Tell that red-eyed obsessive bitch you've had enough of this crap and you're goin' home. Tell her...oh, what's the point? Audiences are flocking to see this crappy movie and there will be a sequel that won't scare me either. That will be a spectacular opportunity to work on my mental grocery list. Yikes, some of the stuff they put in our food...now THAT'S scary.
To scare me, write to [email protected] Horrify us at my website at http://groups.msn.com/TheMovieFiend
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