Hitch Review
by Jerry Saravia (faust668 AT aol DOT com)April 6th, 2005
HITCH (2005)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
Viewed on March 22nd, 2005
RATING: Three stars
"Hitch" is a simple pleasure at the movies, undemanding and unforced. It is a pleasant time-
filler for couples who line up to see movies like this on Valentine's Day. In other words, no
sex, no violence, no jokes of the scatological variety. Just simple fun from start to finish.
Nowadays, that is something to treasure for most couples, young and old.
Will Smith is Alex "Hitch" Hitchens, a popular, anonymous New York Date Doctor. He gives advice to men on how to woo women, how to approach them, how to charm them, and what to do on the first date. Hitch has it down to a specific science - posture, eye contact are all important ingredients. His advice is for romantic longing leading to a healthy relationship, all for a small fee of course. If you want to just get laid, don't go to Hitch.
Kevin James is Albert, one of Hitch's clients, who is something of a slob and further proof that white men can't dance. He is one of the accountants for the beautiful, seemingly unattainable and wealthy Allegra Cole (Amber Valetta). Hitch's advice is for Albert to make himself known to her in some way, though not by breaking up a business meeting and insisting that her own financial interests be honored, thereby almost getting fired in the process! Albert has to learn to relax, to approach her with ease, even if it means getting mustard on his pants. You know this is only a movie when Allegra wouldn't approach an insecure guy like Albert with a ten foot pole.
Hitch has other clients, but he also practices what he preaches. He approaches a gossip columnist named Sara (Eva Mendes) at some ritzy bar, and actually scores. Their first date is at Ellis Island by way of motor boat. Everything clicks but Sara is unaware he is the Date Doctor (as does most of New York, excepting his clients). Will she find out? And will Albert get to score with Allegra or will he accidentally throw mustard on her face?
"Hitch" is a pleasing comedy, designed to please and nothing more. Like most romantic comedies in the last twenty years, it has nothing new to say about romance. Unlike the surreal, mind-bending "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" or the adult-oriented "Sideways," this movie has no degree of surprise to it either. But do consider for what a moment what might have been. The previews show Hitch doing his date doctor thing, accumulating several lonely hearts clients who don't know the first thing about dating. This is a great idea for a romantic comedy - Will Smith's Hitch could've been on the sidelines as opposed to front and center. It is no accident that Kevin James's Albert steals scenes from Smith's nose without so much as breaking a sweat - of course, James has already proved to be a comic powerhouse with TV's "The King of Queens."
I am afraid to say that as much as I enjoy the banter between Smith and Mendes, who have
considerable chemistry, the movie refuses to look at them intimately. There is more intimacy
between Kevin James and Amber Valetta than in all the scenes involving Hitch's private life. I
also take issue with the inevitable scene (you knew it was coming) where Mendes's Sara discovers that Hitch is the Date Doctor and loses her cool. Why on earth is she losing her cool? Because he never told her who he really was? All he does is give dating advice for a living.
There are pluses to "Hitch." The movie is rife with laughs and double entendres, mostly supplied by the poor, clumsy schmo Kevin James. Will Smith shows coolness in being laid-back - it is the most restrained performance of his career. I still wish Smith pursued the promise he showed in "Six Degrees of Separation" but I am not about to give career advice. Eva Mendes is fully alive as Sara, sparkling and spiking every scene she's in with wit and authority. And Amber Valetta is simply a phosphorous presence, not just a simple glamor girl. And for fans of TV's "Chicago Hope," Adam Arkin pops up as Sara's boss.
I certainly liked "Hitch" but I wish more chances were taken. The film is overlong and
undercooked, and there are too many pratfalls of the slapstick variety. I also could've lived
without the "food allergy" gag. In an era of safe, homogenized movies, "Hitch" is about as
outrageous as any Hollywood movie starring Will Smith will allow (which is not much). More
pungent wit and less safe betting would have made this a sleeper instead of just a safe bet.
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