House of 1000 Corpses Review
by Steve Rhodes (Steve DOT Rhodes AT InternetReviews DOT com)April 30th, 2003
HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 2003 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): 1/2
The scariest thing about HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES is your own emotion, as you burn with rage watching it. Angry that you've been hoodwinked into paying for such slipshod work, you are not quite sure who to blame or what to do. The writer and director of this truly awful horror picture is an aptly named Rob Zombie. You have indeed been "rob"bed, and only a "zombie" could have made such drivel.
In its only semi-decent scene, the movie starts with four young adults who stop at a combination gas station and horror museum in the middle of nowhere. Of course, it is a dark and stormy night. This setup can still be mined for considerable cinematic treasure as IDENTITY recently proved. But there is no gold in HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES, save the "murder ride" in the roadside museum that the four twentysomethings go on. Propelled by one creepy guy rather than electricity, their cart passes macabre settings of local horror lore. Afterwards, the foolish four decide to find the "Dr. Satan tree" referenced in their ride.
Will they come back alive? What do you think? More importantly, will you be able to contain your anger at this stupid movie or will your outrage compel you to take out your feelings on someone not responsible but handy, like say the projectionist or the theater manager? Don't. Just ask for your money back instead. That might cause some minor pain to Mr. Zombie who deserves to share your pain.
HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES runs an excruciatingly long 1:28. It is rated R for "strong sadistic violence/gore, sexuality and language" and would be acceptable for older teenagers.
The film is playing in nationwide release now in the United States. In the Silicon Valley, it is showing at the AMC and the Century theaters.
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Originally posted in the rec.arts.movies.reviews newsgroup. Copyright belongs to original author unless otherwise stated. We take no responsibilities nor do we endorse the contents of this review.
