The Hulk Review
by John Ulmer (johnulmer2003 AT msn DOT com)July 28th, 2003
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Hulk - 2.5/5 stars
Starring: Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Nick Nolte, Sam Elliot Year: 2003
MPAA Classification: PG-13 (some violence/language)
=REVIEW BY JOHN ULMER=
In a time when many comic books are getting a big-screen treatment, "Hulk" stands out like a sore thumb. It's not exciting like "Spider-Man," it's not as thoughtful as "X-Men," it's not even as entertaining as the average "Daredevil" was. It has a distinct style of direction with Ang Lee at the helm, and Lee often uses split-screen camera techniques like comic strips, but the film itself really contains nothing underneath the gloss. It almost makes it seem as if there's something solid under the mess, but basically this film is another B-monster movie with a bigger budget.
The Plot, the crap in between taken away: Scientist Man Bruce Banner (Eric Bana) gets gamma radiation, turns into big monster, military man Sam Elliot (what's he doing in THIS?) doesn't "understand" him, so he sends the military to kill him, Hulk fights back, yay, he's a hero, he even saves the girl (Jennifer Connelly) and comes to understand his mad scientist father (Nick Nolte).
In "Spawn" a man died and came back as a super-hero. In "Spider-Man" a young man got bitten by a radioactive spider and mutated into a super-hero. In "Daredevil" a young boy fell into radioactive material and (here comes the surprise) turned into a SUPER-HERO! And in "X-Men," they didn't even bother with an excuse and just stated that in the future there are mutants. I suppose that the mutants in "X-Men" are offspring of "Spider-Man" and "Superwoman," but I suppose we'll never really know.
Granted, this is taken off of the classic Marvel comic strip "The Incredible Hulk," but the problem is that the film doesn't really try to be anything. The story goes nowhere, and is not nearly as convincing nor attaching as "Spider-Man" was. The special effects on the Hulk are "incredibly" disappointing; you might as well call this "Shrek 2." And after the first half, I found myself leaning back in my seat and not really caring about anything on-screen. It's not a very bad movie, it's not even what one would call "bad"; the problem is that it just doesn't do anything new, and it doesn't interest the majority of the viewers I have talked to, including myself. No, I didn't talk to myself. Stop taking things so literally.
You can only use the same plot a certain number of times. I loved "Spider-Man" and "X-Men," I even slightly enjoyed "Daredevil," but if I have to sit through one more "new" story about super-heroes who gained their powers by coming into contact by either radiactive material or radioactive creatures, I will scream at the top of my lungs and do something stupid. With a film like "Spider-Man," we all know the story and can be forgiving, especially seeing how darn great the movie was. I could give "Hulk" a chance with the recycled plot, as it is a classic comic strip that was one of the early radioactive mutant strips. But "Hulk" doesn't want to be given a chance; it rips off the audience and deserves its negative criticism.
I won't really criticize Ang Lee (brother of Stan?) nor his filming technique, which in a sense is the definition of "solid." It's hard to explain, but the film itself seems to carry a green overtone to it, a dark, grainy, greenish look; the same color of the Hulk. So I assume this is on purpose.
The camera techniques are nice, I enjoyed the comic strip effect the first twenty times, but after a while it gets annoying. Though it is very much like a comic strip, it reminds me more of a "Boston Strangler" rip-off than anything new or original.
In the end, I have to ask myself what the HE-double-hockey-sticks Jennifer Connelly is doing in this movie. The young actress who stole the screen in the dazzling fantasy "Labyrinth" and won an Oscar for the drama "A Beautiful Mind" is doing this movie? Didn't she read the crap script? I guess I can't really blame her: There are so many hit comic book movies often that just about any celebrity will try to get a spot in the Next Big One. Who knows, with rumors of Brad Pitt starring in the second screen-adaptation of "Captain America," and newspaper comic strips like "Garfield" getting their turn on the screen, I'm guessing it won't be too far off until we see Tom Cruise playing Dagwood, Snoopy getting his own appearance on celluloid, and Danny De Vito gracing the screen as the Incredible Flying Short Guy (is that even a comic? Who cares). It's not that I have anything against these movies, but if only every one could be a "Spider-Man"...
Let's summarize this using mathematics: Rotten = green; green = "Hulk" | (therefore) "Hulk" = Rotten. End of story.
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