Jingle All the Way Review
by Chuck Dowling (chuckd21 AT southeast DOT net)November 27th, 1996
JINGLE ALL THE WAY
A film review by Chuck Dowling
Copyright 1996 Chuck Dowling
Jingle All the Way (1996) *1/2 out of ***** - C:Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad, Phil Hartman, Rita Wilson, Robert Conrad, James Belushi.
How is it that Arnold can make such high concept action films and such low concept comedies? This is a completely absurd film that should insult anyone over the age of 10. Arnold plays a normal father who, in what is now the most overused character description in films, works all the time to support his family therefore not having enough free time to spend with them. After missing his son's karate class, he promises to get his son the toy he most wants for Christmas, an action figure called "TurboMan". However, it's now Christmas Eve, and the toy is impossible to find. So Schwarzenegger travels from toy store to toy store hunting for the item, getting into one ridiculous situation after another.
To make matters worse for Arnold, he has a rival in Sinbad, who is also hunting for the toy. Sinbad somehow manages to show up in the exact same places as Arnold does at the exact same times. They hit each other and yell at each other while searching for the toy, and what fun that is.
The previews of the film wisely show no clips from the film's ludicrous final 30 minutes, where at a parade, Arnold becomes TurboMan. Sinbad becomes his arch-rival. Now this TurboMan outfit from the parade is complete with a working jetpack and deadly flying weapons, which immediately makes me ask, if this costume is just for a parade, well why isn't there an actual TurboMan? This costume literally turns Arnold into a superhero! Ridiculous.
Basically what we have here is a live action cartoon, which I would say is appropriate for the whole family if it weren't for a few things. For example, Robert Conrad plays a motorcycle cop who always seems to turn up where Arnold does, and he's treated like a buffoon for doing his job. Hey kids! Cops are idiots! In more than one scene, Sinbad (who plays a mailman) threatens people with a mailbomb. Ha ha. Then at one point he gives the package to Conrad which then blows up. But it's like a cartoon bomb, it only affects Conrad because he was holding it. Ha ha. Hey kids! Mailbombs are funny! I sincerely hope that none of the bombing victims from Atlanta or Oklahoma City go with their families to see this film hoping for a good natured comedy for the kids. As a matter of fact, I hope no one goes to see this no matter who they are, bombing victim or not.
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Chuck Dowling
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