Jumper Review
by Steve Rhodes (steve DOT rhodes AT internetreviews DOT com)February 15th, 2008
JUMPER
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 2008 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): * 1/2
If you find yourself in a theater playing JUMPER, you'll want to quickly jump to some other screen at your local multiplex. Otherwise, you'll find that this mind-numbingly bland production will rob you of your time and your money. It's not so much a bad movie as it is a completely useless one, featuring no character development or chemistry whatsoever and downright dull cinematography. Even the special effects aren't much.
This lifeless, humorless and mechanical affair features good actors with nothing to do. As they go through the motions of a script that has them in an endless loop, you can see from tiredness in their eyes that they are just as eager as you are to get this hopeless endeavor over with.
Based on a Steven Gould novel, the movie does have one thing -- and only one thing -- going for it, a promising premise. David Rice has discovered that he has the ability to jump anywhere, and without even the need to say "Beam me up, Scottie." He uses this power to rob banks, leaving IOU notes to prove he's really a good guy, have lunch on top of the Sphinx, and jump two feet on the sofa in order to get to the remote control faster.
Hayden Christensen (Anakin Skywalker in the recent STAR WARS movies) sleepwalks through his performance as David. Equally lame are the performances by Jamie Bell, as a fellow jumper named Griffin, Rachel Bilson as David's generic love interest and Samuel L. Jackson as the leader of the anti-jumper contingent. The latter group, called the Paladins, has been trying to stop the jumpers since the Middle Ages or some such nonsense. The Paladins use high voltage current to knock out the power of the jumpers. One assumes they used some other device in ages past, but the story doesn't really merit any logical consideration since it's so terminally tedious.
With spastic-like repetitions, the jumpers move from place to place as fast the editor can cut the scenes. And, just as rapidly, the electrically-armed Paladins are right behind to zap the jumpers into submission.
You'll likely find yourself rooting for some side -- you won't care which -- to finally annihilate the other, so you can jump into your car and watch something good on television. Even TV reruns are better than JUMPER.
JUMPER runs 1:30. It is rated PG-13 for "sequences of intense action violence, some language and brief sexuality" but in reality is so tame that it would be acceptable for all ages.
My son Jeffrey, age 18, who, like me, was really looking forward to JUMPER, gave it just **. He found the fighting and the script bland and the movie overall very flat. He said that the movie had a majestic idea but needed a better soundtrack among other things. He was particularly surprised, given the script's premise, that there were very few "wow" moments. His girlfriend Yasmin, also 18, gave it ** 1/2, saying that she found it entertaining. She said that she liked the way there was a little romance and she like the whole idea of the Paladins as jumper fighters.
The film opens nationwide in the United States on Valentine's Day, 2008. In the Silicon Valley, it will be showing at the AMC theaters, the Century theaters and the Camera Cinemas.
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