Mean Machine Review
by Steve Rhodes (Steve DOT Rhodes AT InternetReviews DOT com)February 21st, 2002
MEAN MACHINE
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 2002 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): * 1/2
Barry Skolnick's MEAN MACHINE, a remake of the old Burt Reynolds movie, THE LONGEST YARD, is a slow paced, action comedy set in a British prison. With a completely predictable plot, you'll swear that you've seen it all before, even if you've never come within a mile of THE LONGEST YARD.
Danny Meehan (Vinnie Jones, SNATCH) is a famous soccer player, known as the "Mean Machine," who has been sentenced to three years in prison for throwing a game. Soon after arriving, he ends up coaching a prison team in a game against the guards. His rag-tag team consists of all the standard characters, including a super dangerous guy who killed twenty-three men with his bare hands.
The team is, of course, most lacking in teamwork skills. And -- shock! -- the game features non-stop unsportsmanlike conduct from both sides.
In the clichéd big game, the financial stakes are high, with the prison's governor (David Hemmings) having an especially large stake. Let's test your deductive skills. Will the most inept player on the convicts' side, a guy who would have trouble just tying his own shoes, be given a chance to make a crucial play? If so, will he be successful? Will Danny be asked to throw the game? And, if he agrees, will he change his mind? If you've made a perfect score, which I'm quite sure you did, you've just passed Remedial Screenwriting.
MEAN MACHINE runs 1:38. It is rated R for "language and some violence" and would be acceptable for older teenagers.
The film opens nationwide in the United States on Friday, February 22, 2002. In the Silicon Valley, it will be showing at the AMC theaters.
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