Men in Black II Review
by Robin Clifford (robin AT reelingreviews DOT com)July 3rd, 2002
"Men In Black II"
"Same planet. New scum." This is the war cry for the long-awaited sequel to the 1997 hit flick about our world and the aliens from outer space that secretly populate the earth. Agent Jay (Will Smith) is now the head honcho of the cops keeping order among the alien population, but a powerful newcomer, Serleena (Lara Flynn Boyle), has come to Earth to wreak havoc. Jay has to bring his old partner, Kay (Tommy Lee Jones), out of retirement to put a stop to the menace in "Men In Black II."
Return helmer Barry Sonnenfeld and his MIB stars Smith and Jones have bellied up to the bar again in anticipation of recreating the success of the their original venture which took in over $500 million at the box office worldwide a few years ago. The aim, I suspect this time around, is to beat that B.O. figure and make everyone involved rich. Too bad the filmmakers forgot to provide a movie even remotely close to the first. Where "MIB" intro'd a new, alien-enriched world with lots of humor, both tongue-in-cheek and slapstick, action and effects, the remake gives us retread F/X and little of the original film's humor.
Will Smith looks the least comfortable here than in any role he has had, and he has had some biggies. Agent Jay is the top dog, so to speak, in the MIB field operations and, like his predecessor Kay, has had to bear the onerous burden of policing the wild and wacky immigration world of intergalactic aliens. Jay is a cynic, now, and has lost the humor and smartass sassiness that so endeared him to everyone in the '97 flick. Now, Smith is required to mouth lines similar to "What is a dead Cerulean swamp dingy doing in the immigration lounge?!" Dialogue like this does not roll off the tongue and much of the time the actors are just mouthing their silly lines.
Tommy Lee Jones is so deadpan as the returned Kay that you'd think he wished he stayed in retirement as US Postmaster Kevin. He is able to pay lip service to the shoddy dialogue on the strength of his ability to deliver it with authority. Lara Flynn Boyle is awash amidst a sea of special F/X as the multi-tentacle alien bad guy, Serleena, in search of the key to omnipotent power - a maguffin called "The Light of Zartha (sic)". Her "human" persona is supposed to be a Victoria Secrets catalogue model, evinced by her scanty black underwear, but the actress is given nothing to do. Tony Shalhoub reprises his role as alien pawnbroker, Jeebs, who has his head blown off again, not once, but twice. (It was far funnier in the first "MIB.") Johnny Knoxville as Serleena's two-headed henchman, Scrad/Charlie, is hamstrung by the material - a good idea wasted.
The screenplay by Robert Gordon and Barry Fanaro is a manufactured rather than crafted story that reverses the ideas put forth in the first film. Remember when Kay decided he had enough of MIB and opted to be neuralized, wiping out all his memory of his super secret agency? Well, the scribes find a loophole - in the deep recesses of the former agent's mind lay the hidden memories of his past as an MIB and only needs to be releases by the application of the de-neuralizer. Very convenient but I can live with it. Unfortunately, there is little that is funny in "MIIB," with only a couple of exceptions.
To give the filmmakers their due, the expanded presence of Frank the Pug (voice of Tim Blaney), the talkative doggy MIB, and the Worm Guys (they used to make the coffee) provide the film's six laughs (I counted). It's pretty sad when a supporting character, and a dog to boot, is the best thing in the movie. Listen closely to Frank's lyrics to "I Shall Survive." They're worth the effort. It's too bad that the human characters don't fare as well.
The makeup and special F/X are slick but unimaginative. Goofy looking aliens abound but they are not any more creative than the beasties in the bar scene in the original "Star Wars." CGI stuff, like Frank's motor mouth, is done convincingly and well. Production design, by Bo Welch, does try to inject some character into the sets, especially the bachelor pad of the Worm Guys that is very groovy and retro and the place where girl can find out if it's true that "once you know worm, it's what you'll yearn."
I came out of "Men In Black II" feeling like I had been had. The makers have forsaken the entertaining elements of the original and, instead, rehash old jokes and leave any life at the doorstep. I like Frank the Pug, though. I give it a C-.
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