Men in Black II Review
by Homer Yen (homer_yen AT yahoo DOT com)July 9th, 2002
"Men in Black II" – New Hotness? No, it's Old and Busted
by Homer Yen
(c) 2002
Note to the filmmakers of "Men in Black II": If fans of a franchise film are going to wait five long years for a studio to create a sequel, please make it worth the wait. Sure, it's always nice to see the Marine-like demeanor of Tommy Lee Jones and the smooth movements of Will Smith. But, they are trapped in a lousy vehicle that isn't even one-tenth as cool as the Mercedes that they drive around. It lacks zip, offers no memorable dialogue, and is quite short on entertaining moments (although the reference to Michael Jackson as an alien was funny). You would think that after all this time, the filmmakers could come up with something more substantial than this piece of uninteresting fluff, which barely clocks in at 90 minutes.
In the original "Men in Black," we met up with agents Kay (Jones) and Jay (Smith) who worked as part of a secret society of protectors that guarded the Earth against evil aliens. Again, Jones and Smith return to reprise their parts, bringing their individual and likeable charisma to the screen. And the film wisely plays up their juxtaposed personalities for a few laughs. Kay is a straight shooter and all no-nonsense in his approach. Jay is a bit more liberal and even forgets to 'deneuralize' a witness because of her good looks. This is a no-no, for no one can know of the existence of the Men in Black. Another droll addition is a talking dog (voiced by Tim Blaney) that offers running commentary as Kay and Jay face their next test as guardians of Earth.
An extraterrestrial bounty hunter (Lara Flynn Boyle) comes in search of a device, supposedly hidden on Earth, that gives the possessor tremendous power. The bounty hunter is a multi-tentacled creature that can devour a person whole. It looks menacing in its natural form and sexy in its morphed form as a hottie female, but her role basically consists of repeating the line "give me the Light of Zertha or else" while threatening the victim with bodily harm. So, it's up to Kay and Jay to figure out what the Light of Zertha is and to save the world.
There are three major problems with this film. First, virtually nothing captivates our interest. Drama is noticeably missing from this film, which decides to concentrate on talking dogs and fanciful aliens. Yes, it's imaginative in several areas. There are some interesting alien beings and the civilization within a locker was unique. Yet, many of the effects, such as the two-headed alien and the subway worm looked cheap and obvious. Second, what might have been really funny was severely diminished by the heavy advertising in advance of the film. All the best moments and the best lines have been revealed in the trailers. Finally, for those that have seen the first film, there is a strong sense of been-there-done-that. The first film offered novel and unexpected ideas. This one seems like a rehash of the first one with slightly more ambitious effects and more big guns. "Men in Black II" is ultimately painless but unnecessary. And after it's done, you'll wish that they had flashed you with the deneuralizer on your way out to make you forget what you had seen.
Grade: C
S: 1 out of 3
L: 0 out of 3
V: 1 out of 3
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