Men in Black II Review
by Karina Montgomery (karina AT cinerina DOT com)July 11th, 2002
Men in Black II
Catch the Network Premiere
I knew I wouldn't like this film; I didn't particularly like the first one, and even though Will Smith has proven himself to be genial and likable, with good comedic timing and a fun attitude in films, I can't stand this franchise. I went in with low expectations, but expected to enjoy the effects, the singing dog, and perhaps some Will Smith-style banter. Let me assure you right now, every watchable aspect of this film save one is in the preview, so if you have seen the preview, you have seen literally every funny moment. OK, there is one extended line after the subway scene that made me grin, but it wasn't enough to warrant a full film viewing. Even with Patrick Warburton making a senseless appearance.
The one "hidden" watchable aspect is a small scene involving Tony Shaloub as an alien shopkeeper with a just-off human appearance that is interesting to look at, and Shaloub could make almost anything funny with his delivery. So if you are a die hard Tony Shaloub fan, wait until this dreck makes it to the small screen and he's somewhere in the middle. David Cross shows up for a few seconds, but all that made me want to do is buy the Mr. Show DVD.
Tommy Lee Jones, decreasingly interesting since The Fugitive, apparently faxed a likeness of himself to the set and had his assistant work the image like a puppet while a grip read the dialogue. This is a Harvard graduate from the heyday of the Harvard Lampoon, working with the funny and charming Will Smith and the generally reliable Rip Torn. Torn appears to be recoiling from the camera, as if even he cannot believe he is in this film. When are the Larry Sanders episodes going to be released on DVD in full so he can live off those residuals instead of this kind of whoredom? Smith himself appears a little pained but, trooper that he is, he is giving this movie his all. He has energy and enthusiasm and timing but nothing - nothing at all - to work with.
You know the preview scenes of the talking dog? The dog serves no purpose. He shows up, talks a little canine-alien smack, and then is removed from the story. He has little comedic value (and the potential of a Dog in Black is at least wider than zero) and little narrative use. Johnny Knoxville is an abrasive two headed alien whose sole function is to allow director Barry Sonnenfeld the opportunity to work with the technical challenge of two-headed dialogue with one actor. Knoxville also serves no apparent purpose, since his snaky second head's admitted pseudo-comedic potential is not even touched upon. Neither do trippy cameos by Martha Stewart and Michael "King of Pop" Jackson.
Lara Flynn Boyle is an alien in the body of a lingerie model, and even the simple concept of using sexuality to lure/kill/whatever isn't approached. There are no carryovers from the first movie besides the font of the opening credits, no comedy, no depth, and no action. Will Smith wrestles his way out of a conveniently cushioning pile of plastic tubing, which could have been funny, if it wasn't so annoying. I give it Catch It On Network TV instead of Avoid at All Costs because there isn't even enough here to offend, much less revile/avoid. And the subway scene ending and Tony Shaloub are worth 50 cents admission.
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