Men in Black II Review
by Cheryl Solimini (csol AT pikeonline DOT net)July 15th, 2002
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The Media Medea's Movie Reviews
at LostBrain.com
by Cheryl Solimini
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Forget "Spiderman," "Minority Report" and whatever other FX-fest is on
the big screens now. The tech boys on "Men in Black II" have come up
with the most impressive, impossible special effect of all: Lara Flynn
Boyle's breasts. I've seen "The Practice" and
she sure doesn't pack a rack under her law suits, but here her boobs
bubble up and threaten to escape her Frederick's of Hollywood
lace-and-leather ensemble like a pair of shaved possums caught in a
snare net. I kept hoping Tommy Lee Jones would shoot them off with his
alien blaster, just to see if they would grow back again like pawnbroker
Jack Jeebs' head. No such luck.
As for the other aliens, we're seen them all before, especially Michael
Jackson and Martha Stewart. And a talking dog? Didn't they have one in
"Scooby Doo" and every Disney film ever made? And why would worms talk
like the Taco Bell chihuahua?
Will Smith's Agent Jay mugs smugly like a man who has just earned a
really big paycheck for very little effort. At 88 minutes, this movie is
shorter than a Fresh Prince music video, or just seems that way. Nod ya
head, Will, if you think this is an honest way to make a living.
Speaking of head, Smith competes with Winona Ryder for Weirdest Ears in
Show Business.
As neutralized Agent Kay, now working--where else?--in the post office,
Tommy Lee Jones can't remember how to do his former job or how to act.
Maybe a good, brisk dermabrasion would help jog his memory. If Rick
Baker is such a makeup genius, why can't he dab a little concealer on
Jones' pockmarks?
The throwaway bits about alternate universes were funnier and more
imaginative than the main plot...something about a light, a girl,
destruction of the planet, blah, blah, blah. Who cares. But I'd see it
all again for the 3 minutes with Tony Shalhoub as Jeebs. I could watch
Shalhoub scrape tar off his shoes for two hours, he's always that good.
And it's nice to see that Johnny Knoxville has made a major career move,
from "Jackass" to two-headed jackass--as Charlie/Scrad, hench-alien to
Boyle's Serleena. For the next MIB installment, they should drop Smith
and Jones and give Jeebs and Scrad their own movie. They can investigate
why the Federal government knows the whereabouts of every outer-space
alien in our midsts, yet hasn't a clue about who is enrolling in our
flight schools.
- Cheryl Solimini
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