Mission to Mars Review
by Ian Waldron-Mantgani (Ukcritic AT aol DOT com)April 19th, 2000
Mission to Mars 1/2
Rated on a 4-star scale
Screening venue: Odeon (Liverpool City Centre)
Released in the UK by UIP on April 14, 2000; certificate PG; 113 minutes; country of origin USA; aspect ratio 2.35:1
Directed by Brian De Palma; produced by Tom Jacobson.
Written by Lowell Cannon, Jim Thomas, John Thomas, Graham Yost. Photographed by Stephen H. Burum; edited by Paul Hirsch.
CAST.....
Gary Sinise..... Jim McConnell
Tim Robbins..... Woody Blake
Don Cheadle..... Luke Graham
Connie Nielsen..... ..... Terri Fisher
Jerry O'Connell..... Phil Ohlmyer
Peter Outerbridge..... Sergei Kirov
Kavan Smith..... Nicholas Willis
Jill Teed..... Renee Cote
"Mission to Mars" is too long-winded and stone-faced to be intended as comedy, and yet I wonder how anyone could expect us to take it seriously. This is one of the most ridiculous sci-fi movies ever made, which is no mean feat, considering all the trashy B-pictures of the 1950s and zombie flicks of the 80s.
The tone is set early on, by clunky passages of dialogue designed to get the audience up to speed on the plot. An example: "Hey, man, you must be feeling really upset now, because this used to be your mission. Jeez, if only your wife hadn't died, and you hadn't gotten so depressed and had to pull out." Give me a break.
The speaker is Luke Graham (Don Cheadle), an astronaut preparing to go on a four-man mission to Mars. His team's goal is to research the feasibility of human colonisation. When drilling for water on the red planet, his partners come under the spell of a giant face-shaped sculpture, which sucks them into a sandstorm reminiscent of last year's "The Mummy" and disembowels them.
News of the deaths reaches NASA headquarters. Soon afterward radio contact is lost. A new quartet, played by Gary Sinise, Jerry O'Connell, Tim Robbins and Connie Nielsen, are sent to the rescue. The three of them who survive the trip find Graham with Christ-like hair and beard, ranting and raving about the mystical life forces that guide us, or something. Everybody gathers round to look at the big sculpture, and through guesswork so miraculous that it must be based on telepathy from the gods, they suss out how to enter it safely.
This illogical business leads to an amazing moment in which the film's heroes discover an alien learning zone; it's a visually arresting scene, but too little too late to save this silly movie. Want to know why only three of the four rescue pilots make it to Mars? Because halfway through their journey they abandon ship and decide to float through outer space to another one. Robbins is unable to manoeuvre himself successfully -- what a surprise, I thought the task would be something anyone could pull off with ease!
They've taken the drastic measure because of an emergency onboard their rocket, which emerges completely nonsensically, when O'Connell is typing an instruction into the ship's computer. For no particular reason, the keyboard breaks, and in an unfathomable development, this causes the cabin to start losing pressure. At first we don't even realise there's any danger, partly because of the situation's implausibility, but mainly due to the scene's lack of urgency. The characters drift around without any panic, talking things over in technical jargon, as a slow, toneless organ tune plays on the sound track. Odd for most movies, typical of this one.
"Mission to Mars" was directed by Brian De Palma, who once made pictures like "Carrie", "Blow Out" and "Scarface". Watching it, I was reminded of a television interview with Quentin Tarantino, in which he mentioned that a lot of good filmmakers lose their creativity, and end up doing bad studio vehicles just for the pay packet. I hope De Palma isn't going down that road. But surely even Tarantino, who is one of the director's greatest fans, will recognise that "Mission to Mars" is not a good sign.
COPYRIGHT(c) 2000 Ian Waldron-Mantgani
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