The Medallion Review
by John Ulmer (johnulmer2003 AT msn DOT com)January 19th, 2004
THE MEDALLION
1.5/5 stars
Date of Review: January 18th, 2004
REVIEW BY JOHN ULMER (Copyright, 2004)
Whoever decided to make a Jackie Chan movie with CGI should be shot.
I was pretty tired when I attended a screening of "The Medallion," which may have something to do with why I couldn't properly follow anything in the film. Was it just me, or is the movie absolutely, completely uncohesive and sloppy? Or it could just be the screenplay. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure it's the screenplay. But what's with the super-fast speed during the fight scenes? And who in their right minds ever decided that we, as an audience, come to Jackie Chan movies to see fake CGI/green screen/blue screen effects?
The film, directed by Gordon Chan, plays like one long rip-off of "The Matrix." Jackie Chan turns invincible after receiving a medallion and learns to leap high into the air and intake bullets without being injured.
Now I'm a pretty big fan of Jackie Chan and his movies. I'm not a martial arts cinema buff like Quentin Tarantino, but when I stumbled upon some of Chan's early work I was suddenly, surprisingly addicted to his work. I had a friend who told me how great Chan's films were, and how fun they were to watch, and I'd always say, "Those movies aren't really my thing." Here's a lesson in why you shouldn't judge things before giving them a chance.
His early films were excellent -- his martial arts are the best I've ever seen (even better than Bruce Lee), as he doesn't just use fighting skills -- he jumps up the sides of buildings and leaps over gaps and runs atop of bicycle seats. That's just a sampling of the stuff he does in his films. In fact, he does such dangerous moves that blooper reels at the end of each of his films have become standard, expected highlights of every movie. (Ironically, "The Medallion" is one of his worst movies, and features one of his worst blooper reels.)
But I don't know, I haven't liked a Jackie Chan movie since "Shanghai Noon" -- those films following his efforts with Owen Wilson have more or less been the same, even the fun but silly "Accidental Tourist" was somewhat disappointing. "Rush Hour 2" was decent, but I never thought the original was a "great" buddy movie (nowhere near the fun of "Shanghai Noon").
This is possibly Chan's worst effort, not even a guilty pleasure like last year's "The Tuxedo" (which was a pretty awful movie, but fun in a strange sort of way). This is a carbon copy of that film, from the medallion giving him superpowers to the idiotic villain who lives in a large stone castle in the middle of nowhere, surrounded with a bunch of dumb goons who can't even outsmart the stupidity of someone like Lee Evans, the extremely unfunny and obnoxious British standup comedian who Chan is teamed with in this film. You may remember Evans from "There's Something About Mary," in which he plays Norm the pizza boy who had a big crush on Mary. He was annoying in that film, and in "The Medallion" we realize he wasn't even trying to be.
The plot is ridiculous: It has something to do with two ancient Chinese medallions that give the power of immortality when joined together, or something like that. Guess what? Jackie Chan gets the two pieces and is granted immortality. So now he can jump with visible cable wires and dodge bullets like The One. In fact, this is all "The Medallion" is: A rip-off of "The Matrix." And a poor one at that.
Hollywood once again gives their take on Asian myths and fails miserably. Ever since "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon," all the martial arts films have been like "The Matrix" on drugs -- dumb, fast, and braindead. Each trying to copy "Crouching Tiger" in their own way, these films have become poor excuses for guys like Stifler (Seann William Scott from "American Pie") to be able to kick butt and look cool doing so. It isn't cool.
In fact, if I had to explain "The Medallion" in a quick summary to you, it would be this: "Bulletproof Monk" meets "The Tuxedo" via "The Matrix." "Bulletproof Monk" was one of the worst films of 2003. Here's another to add to that sacred little list.
- John Ulmer
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