National Treasure Review
by Jon Popick (jpopick AT sick-boy DOT com)November 22nd, 2004
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Harmed irreparably by a PG rating that strips any sense of danger or actual romantic spark between its sloppily coupled leads, National Treasure is nothing more than a temporary fix until The Da Vinci Code hits theatres. Unless you're a big fan of chase scenes, chase scenes, chase scenes, you'd be better off waiting, even though Ron Howard will undoubtedly find a way to make Dan Brown's best-seller into something breathtakingly mediocre. Films like this confound me to virtually no end, especially when you hear people laugh at how unbelievable the story is, and then in the next breath, champion the idea that it's "educational" and "like a history lesson."
This, I would imagine, would explain the popularity of the C.S.I. franchise.
Speaking of C.S.I., Treasure features the glorious return of Nicolas Cage (Matchstick Men) to Bruckheimer Auto Pilot (this is his fourth flick with the producer). He plays, with virtually no gusto, Benjamin Franklin Gates, the last in a long line of kooks who, thanks to a fairly hazy story handed down by his grandfather's grandfather's grandfather, believes in the story of the treasure of the Knights Templar. Armed only with a vague hint of where the riches might be, Ben is, of course, easily able to track down various clues and quickly solve riddles, which lead him to believe the map to the treasure is located on the back of the original Declaration of Independence.
Since the Gates clan is something of a running joke in the historical community, Ben has trouble convincing anyone to give him access to the DOI. So he steals it, instead (if anything, Treasure teaches viewers that the security detail at our country's greatest monuments is easier to foil then leftover chicken). Somewhere along the way, he picks up a German chick named Abigail (Troy's Diane Kruger) and an enemy called Howe (Sean Bean, also of Troy), and has comic relief provided by an irritating sidekick (Justin Bartha, Gigli). And then the chasing - oh, the wonderful chasing.
The highlight of the insanity was Ben determining the steeple of Independence Hall would, at a precise time, cast a shadow on the location of the next of a long string of clues. Daylight Savings Time was written into the script, but the filmmakers glossed over the fact that the shadow would only point to that specific point two days a year. It's that kind of careful attention to detail that makes The Goonies was more thrilling and easier to accept than Treasure. Hell, the Cyndi Lauper The Goonies 'R Good Enough video was, too. Why not just have Ben get the map of a replica of the DOI?
Additionally, there's never any explanation of what evils Howe might attempt should he actually find the treasure first. Since selling just one of the priceless artifacts would be enough to raise red flags around the world, Howe would have too much trouble trying to fence the stuff, and would likely be revealed fairly quickly. Instead, we get the same old, "Keep the treasure away from the British," line, and since Howe sounds kind of British, we just go with the flow, man.
Treasure was directed by Jon Turteltaub, who has churned out nothing but silly, formulaic duds (Disney's The Kid, Instinct) after briefly flirting with equally formulaic mainstream success in the mid-'90s (While You Were Sleeping, Phenomenon). The unpleasant script comes courtesy of Cormac and Marianne Wibberley, who have made a career penning ill-conceived sequels (Bad Boys 2, Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle) and iller-conceived adaptations of television shows (I Spy, and the upcoming I Dream of Jeannie).
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